A post worth reviewing. Via March, 2010.
Today’s post is written by life coach Heidi, of To Be Luminous. Her ideas on personal power are a perfect continuation of MakeunderMyMarch in the mental realm.
Heidi on Personal Power
I love “Makeunder My Life” for too many reasons to list out here and since you all feel the same way, it would be redundant.Â For the sake of time and space I’ll stick to the #1 reason I give MML stamp of approval:
This process paves the way to personal power.
Most people move through life tossed around on the waves while life happens to them and then wonder why their life isn’t going where they want it to go!Â In designing your life you are taking your life back into your own hands and are daring to believe you know a better way.
Even after setting powerful intentions and moving forward in our dreams life keeps moving and I don’t know about you, but I still find myself listening to what someone else thinks I should do and doubting my deep desires and personal intentions – even just for a split second.Â For many of my clients just as they begin breaking down barriers, throwing away parts of life that don’t suit them (everything from a bad skirt to a sketchy boyfriend), the world starts to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” and sadly enough some step out of their new strength and retreat back into their former comfy world.Â Think:Â taking off the perfectly styled new outfit you’ve been dreaming of and slipping back into sweats.Â It sounds comfy, but comfy doesn’t help us achieve our dreams, become the person we’d like to be, and share our authentic selves with the world that so desperately needs each and every one of us.
We have to strengthen our personal power and as we take the MML action steps, it’s equally important to reacquaint ourselves with our own personal voice, our spirit, our intuition . . whatever you want to call it.Â It’s the little guy inside you that says what you really think.Â Your intuition fills you up, gives you wisdom, dispels fear, and calms anxiety.Â Your personal voice is full of love and joy- for you and for others exactly as you are now. Sometimes it’s even more of a feeling or a whisper, but the closer attention we pay to it, the stronger our personal power becomes and we come closer to our authentic selves and allow the people around us to do the same.Â Isn’t it great?Â By being our best selves we give our favorite people permission to do the same.
The best three ways to hone in on your own voice are to do the following.Â WARNING:Â This is a lengthy life long process.Â Do not expect to master it overnight, but DO expect to feel amazing strength, energy and courage very, very quickly!
#1 – Toss your energy vampires.
This means do your best to rid yourself of not only your excess stuff (which is perfect place to start), but your excess personal baggage too.Â Sit down and set the timer for 15 minutes.Â Grab a pen and paper (so much better than a computer for a brain dump) and write down the parts of your life that pull you away from who you dream of being.Â Your list might look like this:
- Screaming boss
- Critical “frenemy” Jill
- Guilt over broken relationship with Greg
- Hour long daily calls where my mom tells me what’s wrong in my life
- All my excuses for not going to the gym (Grey’s Anatomy, Deep fudge chocolate cake, having one-too many the night before)
- Vogue magazine (makes me want more stuff and to look model thin)
This list is different for everyone.Â One person’s vice (deep fudge chocolate cake) maybe a fabulous motivational tool for someone else.Â Keep it personal and remember it’s only about you!Â One example from my list will sound silly, but I used to watch the Hills and after watching it I’d always feel frumpy, unstylish, like I need to shop, lose some weight, etc.Â It wasn’t that I was actually saying these things out loud, but I never felt good after watching it.Â I put it on my vampire list.Â Anything that drags you down instead of lifting you up (including people) should be on the list.Â For most people on the list, it will be a matter of changing the nature of the relationship.Â For example:Â if mom yells at you, rather than cut her off, you need to find a new way of relating to her.
Once the list is made, get ready to start cutting.Â Some things are easy to cut, others will be difficult.Â Go slow and do your best, just know that you are treating yourself with care and deserve to feel alive and amazing, so that you can help others to feel the same way.
#2- Fill up on the good stuff.
Nope, I don’t just mean the aforementioned chocolate cake . . . just like your list of vampires, it’s time to sit down and make a list of people, places, items, and influences that fill you with joy.Â Set the timer and go!Â This list might include:
- My best friend Holly
- Date night with my man
- Cake batter batter ice cream from Coldstone
- A long hard run on a Spring day
- Girl’s night out dancing
- Long conversations with my sister
- A day on the beach
- An invigorating project at work
You get the picture.Â This is fun!Â If it feels like work, you’re doing it wrong.Â Put it down and try again later.Â Making this list should bring you to life, quicken your step and start you laughing.
Once the list is made start filling up the holes left by the previous list.Â If you go to lunch with Frenemy Jill three days a week and only see best friend Holly once every other week . . . there’s some obvious switching up to do.Â You get the gist.Â Have fun with it and just get started!
#3- Listen to your authentic voice every day.
The first two steps will get you started, but this last one will keep you going for the rest of your life.Â You have got to make time to listen to yourself daily or you’ll never hear that important whisper that could lead you into the life you’ve dreamed of.Â The more you listen, the stronger you become internally and all those vampires begin to lose their grip on you.Â You will find that you second guess yourself far less and you’ll jump in and take risks at times you never would have before.
Listening means making time.Â When I commuted, I’d turn off my iPod, not answer my cell and then I’d dream and talk to myself (out loudÂ . . . I know a little crazy, but no one could hear).Â Â My car was a sacred place.Â I kept it clean and I kept my heart open.Â It was on one of these drives that I felt nudged to go live in Bulgaria for a year and a half.Â These quiet nudges WILL change your life.
Another way to listen is by journaling.Â I’m not talking about writing a discourse on the details of your day.Â I mean, sitting down in a quiet calm place for 30 minutes and scratching out whatever comes into your mind.Â The words won’t be pretty and often they’ll be grumpy, but half way through (for me it’s around the 15 minute mark) brilliance starts to shine through.Â I have been doing this daily for a decade now and every bold, brave, amazing move I’ve made first began as a scratch in my journal, a seemingly silly momentary thought.
If you make no other change in your life than listening to (and acting upon) your authentic voice your life will unfold in beautiful and unexpected ways.Â This is the process I work through with my clients weekly.Â It’s empowering and frustrating, full of highs and lows, but so is life.Â Our dreams need a soft, happy, joyful place to grow and if we start within ourselves, miracles will happen.