As we talked about the very positive outcomes from both reviews, we were slightly amazed. Given how challenging our jobs have been in the past year, it is almost baffling to think that among dozens of hardships, setbacks, and delays, we were able to come out of the year with glowing feedback.
For me personally, thinking about how freaking hard it was to get Quincy and Belmont to launch day, I almost feel like the buzz and support I’ve gratefully received seems undeserved. I mean, I was far from perfect during this process. I’ve written a fair amount the past few months about . the . challenges I’ve been working through in my head. And I’ve felt a fair deal of anxiety and frustration.
And despite all of the problems, mistakes, and worry, the ultimate outcome is fantastic.
To go through so much crap and then find such glowing reviews confuses my brain.
Because you see, as Mr. Lively and I have been re-reading one of my favorite books, The Pursuit of Perfect (found on the MML bookshelf), I’ve noticed that some of my latent perfectionist tendencies have been resurfacing this year.
I’ve been believing, deep down, that in order to “really” be able to enjoy success, I need to have been perfect the whole way through the process. I need to have handled every situation and issue that came up along the way perfectly in order to truly deserve a great launch.
The reality of getting these products developed included imperfections, anger, joy, breakthroughs, and tears (both good and bad). How can the outcome be good if there was so much stress throughout the journey?
Because a happy life, or a successful business, does not require perfection.
I need to relearn that I do not need to expect an uninterrupted stream of positive emotions or outcomes to be happy overall. I set myself up for failure when I have that expectation because it is impossible. It also numbs me from positive feedback. I can’t really believe the positive comments people say too much because I still have been holding on to the negative feelings and reactions I’ve had in the past during the process.
It’s like I finished a marathon and instead of being thankful that I finished and pushed through the tough parts, I’m focusing on the times during the race where I walked, slowed down, or deviated from my perfect pace. I’m not allowing a positive response to the race because there were setbacks along the way.
So now it’s my job to work through these limiting beliefs and let go of the dead weight in my mind to free myself up to fully feel the happiness of what I’ve accomplished.