Jess Lively

After my post went up last week, Jess and I started going back and forth emailing about how I was feeling. I wanted to share (with her permission) one of the emails she wrote back to me because I think there is so much goodness in it. So much goodness!! I know it will be helpful to you guys too.

Ashley,

I’m glad that my perspective seems to be helping. You will do a great job, but you have to start. If a baby waited until it was perfectly poised for velocity to walk, it would never get there. He starts with a dirty diaper, indigestion, and slobber all over his face. But he smiles the whole time and bumps his head – a lot. He cries. He takes naps. Then he rolls over, and tries again. I think this might be a stronger visual for you to think of as you get started. Sure, a foundation is awesome, especially one based on personal character (which is why I always bring up 7 Habits). But please don’t get too caught up in feeling perfect or even “good” to begin.

As you said, just do it! What is the one baby step that you can do today that will help get the  ball rolling? Do that one thing. Then ask the same question tomorrow. Repeat. That’s really all there is to it.

Here’s something else to consider about perfectionism. Sure, you are older than I was when I started, so you have a lot of experience and will be able to launch with a much better business than I did at 15 years-old. My business started with the name “Starlette Jewelry” and hot pink and black business cards – with stars all over them. This was my first piece of jewelry which began the business. The fact is: no matter where you begin, you will inevitably improve your business as you go along. So to expect any kind of perfection in your business this time around is impossible, and also distracting you. (If you have your “life” figured out, do ballet, paint, acupuncture, flossing, etc., etc. you won’t be left with time to work on the business!) You think it’s investing in you and your business, but it’s really taking you further away. The ego is a tricky thing; lots of plans, checklists, to-dos, must-dos, should-dos. All you need is just do!

What gets my hands dirty and out of the land of “one day/what if” is the vision I have for the business. It is so juicy, exciting, colorful, tantalizing, and aligned with my purpose that I feel any time that I’m not getting closer to that vision is a disservice to myself and to the world. (Please don’t think this means I don’t take time off, I certainly do quite a bit. But I spend my “working time” accomplishing this purpose and vision.) I know my business alone will not bring me happiness. My business is a vehicle for me to support myself and reach women and help them through my real purpose and message, MML. And that brings me a deep, penetrating sense of satisfaction. If I died tomorrow, I know I did everything I could to share the lessons I’ve learned (up to this point) via the blog. And that is an exceptional feeling. You want to improve peoples lives by creating beautiful experiences. Start creating those experiences now. You do not need to wait for your life to fall into place. As you fulfill your purpose, life unfolds on it’s own.

You have so much potential it is a shame to cover it with a host of things you “need to do.” I’d suggest making under those expectations in order to reveal the lasting satisfaction that your purpose alone will bring you. No amount of flossing, eating plans, workouts, meditation, de-cluttering will bring you the same sense of peace. And the longer you put it off, the more doubt and insecurity you will feel. Stop suffering and put one foot in front of the other.

Because I love you and want the best for you, I feel I can say this with concern and understanding to how you are feeling. I have been in your exact shoes four years ago. Right before I discovered my purpose about ‘making under.’ You owe it to yourself and the world to push past these barriers and move forward.

So be like a baby and learn to walk .

Jess

Amazing, right?! She is so right on about this stuff. My favorite part is when she says that her business is a vehicle for her to support herself and reach people with her real purpose and message. Sometimes I get so caught up in believing that every single thing I do has to be profound and life changing. Well that is just crazy thinking on my part. Everything will not be profound…in fact, most things will probably be pretty normal and routine. But the normal and routine stuff can be the backbone of my real purpose. It can support my message as well as put food on my table.

So after all of this discussion with Jess I decided to make a change in lat week’s commitment to paint 30 minutes a day. I switched to working 30 minutes a day on my business. It was a good choice for me. Eventually I would like to go back to painting 30 minutes a day but this new practice was so effective for me that I am choosing to continue it this week. I was able to get a few things done that just felt overwhelming to me before. I purchased a new domain name and mapped it to my trial blog space. I designed a new blog header and installed a new blog template. Part of what I have decided to do for my new business is wedding invitation design…I spent some time working on new designs. And I have to admit that IT FEELS GOOD!

I already shared this image on my own blog but I thought it was perfect for this weeks post too. This was a simple watercolor painting that I did during one of my 30 minute painting times. It’s true don’t you think??

Onward and upward!