Today we have the lovely Rian of Truth and Cake. You are going to love her fresh point of view on life and how she lives it with intention. I definitely learned a lot from what she said and I think you will too. And if you haven’t visited her blog, please do, I think you will fall in love with it!

Sometime around 6th grade, I learned that a stiff upper lip and a flippant attitude were the keys to the cool kid kingdom: wear the right clothes, keep your guard up, act like you have all the answers. As an adult, I’ve spent a lot of time rewiring the part of my brain that gets defensive and know-it-ally. It’s a powerful thing to say, “I don’t have the answer” or “I’m not feeling great,” or “Hey, I really like you.” But, for a lot of us, it no longer comes naturally. What a different world we would live in if we regularly allowed others to see our vulnerabilities. The more I’ve worked at this intention, the more I’ve noticed the way it affects the people around me: letting my guard down gives others the courage to do the same. And that drives me to keep at it, even on the days when my ego’s screaming, “No, no, wear the cool kid jeans!”

I took this picture during a trip to Portland last summer–the hotel had turntables in every room and my husband and I took full advantage, jumping on the bed and dancing our hearts out to Prince and The Shins. I majored in theatre in college and play was so encouraged and so integral to what we did that when I finally made it out into the big, wide “real” world, my first thought was, “Why so serious?” For a long time I tried to adapt and cover up that part of myself by acting more “adult” and responsible. But eventually, I realized that I really, really wanted to do the running man. In public. Possibly while lip syncing. So now I do.

If you’d asked me at 20 what my life would look like today, there’s no way I would have said: “Oh, I think I’ll meet an awesome South African guy in Rome and we’ll move to Canada and get married and travel the world together.” Definitely didn’t see that one coming! I wouldn’t have the big, sometimes crazy life I have today if I hadn’t left room for unexpected possibilities and said, “Okay, let’s try that.” When life becomes overly packed with expectations and fillers, there isn’t a lot of space to say yes to the unexpected, the new, the glimmer of an idea that may be burning in the back of your mind. I try not to get too fixated on what I think the future is supposed to look like or who I ‘should’ become because I know that the very best parts of my life so far have been totally unscripted.

I do tabatas with my trainer, which are these 20 second bursts of exercise where you push, push, push and then rest for 10 seconds. I used to count my reps so that I could try to beat my score on the final round, until my trainer pointed out that I was totally missing the point of the exercise. The idea, he told me, was to go as hard as you could every single time as if it were your last. This was a huge lightbulb moment for me. I realized I was saving the best for last in many aspects of my life: I always left the best bite of food for the end of the meal, I was saving up all of my really good ideas for a rainy day, I would give things a half-hearted try. Now, instead of storing it up, I try to go all out, as hard as I can the first time. I eat the good stuff before it gets cold and use my ideas before they grow stale. Before, I was living with a scarcity mindset: if I use it all up, maybe there won’t be any more. But I’ve found that the opposite is actually true. Every time I hit ‘publish’ on a blog post or do a killer set of burpees, I take a deep breath and realize: wow, there’s actually more where that came from.

The trip to the grocery store, the boring car ride, the fight with my husband, the annoying paperwork: sometimes I feel a strong urge to hit fast-forward on life, to skip past all of the mundane and unpleasant crap and get to the “good” stuff. How often have I heard myself or someone else say, “I just have to get through these last couple days and then it’s the weekend, hurray.” It’s so easy to get trapped in the mindset of wanting to ‘arrive’ at that magical place where all of those juggled balls finally fall perfectly into place. But there are always going to be hiccups and boring tasks and fights. It’s part of the deal. Rushing through it isn’t the answer. So I try my best to show up for all of it, good or bad. Because this moment right here, this is it–messy, beautiful life.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews. And if you would like to be considered for a Design Your Life feature, please email Jen at hello(at)with-intention.com

Today we have Chelsea of Chelsea Gwynne. She is a full-time English teacher, part-time blogger and jewelry maker and a beautiful newlywed. She is currently living in Boston with her husband and Shiba-Iny pup (who was featured on my blog here, so cute!). Chelsea shares where she finds daily inspiration and how she tries to live her life with intention. Enjoy!

There is so much noise around me. I teach high school during the day, and there’s nothing like the din of hundreds of teenagers making their way to third period English class. On my way into work I have talk radio on, or I’m singing at the top of my lungs. On the way home, the noise is honking cars at traffic lights and the rumble of a city at rush hour. I have to force myself to find quiet places. “Make quiet” means you might have to fight to find a truly quiet space. No Pandora playing, not phone text-tapping, no news on, no chit-chatting. Creativity needs some room to breathe, and it needs some quiet stillness to grow. You do, too! Allow yourself even just 25 minutes of true quiet per day (nature sounds are good!) and you’ll notice your inspiration, creativity, and gratitude increase.

If you’re a painter, go to a good restaurant. If you bake cupcakes, go to an antique store. If you’re writing a self-help book, visit a kindergarten class. If you’re a jeweler, visit art museums. My point is that we often look within our own interest areas for further inspiration or invigoration. Look elsewhere. The most inspiration I’ve found for my jewelry comes from old movies, nature walks, and art museums. Looking elsewhere helps me to look with fresh eyes when I’m back in my studio.

I feel like our society pressures us to define ourselves quickly and permanently. “I’m an athlete” or “Total Type A” or “I’m going to be a lawyer” or “I dont understand politics.” We make these seemingly defining statements about ourselves and feel closed in by our choices, cities, jobs, and even loved ones. My advice is to be undefined. Who really cares if you want to be a bakery owner but also love Motorcross? Embrace the fact that you cannot be checked off in certain prescribed boxes. I wear Lilly Pulitzer and Mala beads, I make jewelry and I teach high school, I’m nearly obsessed with what is happening in the Middle East, but I have Buzz Feed: Cute Animals bookmarked. I always feel some pressure to be able to have a thesis statement on who I am and where I’m going. I don’t. I’ve decided I’m undefined.

My grandmother is so stylish in this picture. She’s resting on this car, presumably somewhat new at the time, and in the back of what looks to be like several multi-family homes. She’s posing, however, like she’s on the beaches of St. Tropez. My grandmother knew style. She was never afraid of color, prints, or huge jewelry. She knew how to pose in a photo, whether it was hopping up on a car or waving to the camera. She lived to be 99 and in the years before she died she loved to check out how I was wearing my hair (she always preferred if I’d “had it in rollers”) or if I would tie the belt of my coat “just so”. Older generations have a longer relationship with their own style, so they might be able to provide some inspiration for yours.

I married my next door neighbor last July. If you’d told me when we were kids that I would end up with “mean Mike”, I would’ve thrown my Walkman at you. “No chance,” I thought! But Big Love happens in unexpected places – or perhaps the places right next to you. One day I looked at Michael and I just knew he’d be my husband. But once you know, you have to allow it, be open to it, and foster that love! I wouldn’t be half the person I am without my husband. Creatively speaking, he helps calm my worries about the pieces I make or the pieces I write. He suggests activities to clear my head, or to inspire me. We climb mountains, eat Indian food & generally love life together. Big Love in necessary for big creativity.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews. And if you would like to be considered for a Design Your Life feature, please email Jen at hello(at)with-intention.com

Today I’m happy to introduce the lovely Sage of Sage Grayson Coaching. Are you ready to make a positive change in your life, and actually put yourself first for once? If so, Sage is your gal! She does so much more, but sometimes I think as women, we all go through phases and struggle with this, so figuring out how to take the time for yourself while having a healthy relationship with friends and family is a something we can all benefit from.

I’m sure you will enjoy Sage’s fresh take on how she lives her live with intention. Enjoy!

One of my favorite quotes from the Dalai Lama is, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” I love it, and I feel that the world would be a happier place if more people let kindness guide their actions.

I have a question that I ask myself periodically to make sure I’m on the right path in my life: “Am I being kind?” This question is so simple, and yet it has such a powerful impact on everything I do.

It applies to countless situations: how I reply to email, how I talk to my husband, the products I buy, the companies and causes I support, and even what I eat (I’m a vegan).

Sometimes when I ask myself if I’m being kind, I have to answer, “No.” This usually happens when I’m stressed out or haven’t eaten in a while. But that’s the beauty of this question! By asking it, I can either reaffirm my choices or make adjustments so I can head in the right direction.

When I say that everything is fixable, I mean that you can recover from anything in your life and be a stronger person. But this doesn’t mean that things will be perfect or go back to how you want them to be. It’s like gluing a broken cup back together; it’s fixed but changed.

I’ve experienced some terrible things in my life including surviving a suicide attempt, escaping an abusive family, and overcoming vicious bullying. I’m still alive today because I believed that I could design a future for myself, a life where the pain wouldn’t control me. Fixing my life was a conscious choice! I’m not unique, and I show my clients that they can fix their lives too.

I have a Type A personality and I’m a Buddhist, which is kind of a wacky combination! My control freak nature wants to make endless to-do lists and schedules, but the little Buddha inside me wants to calm down and let things unfold naturally.

One way I’ve been able to honor these 2 viewpoints is to write in my aspiration journal every morning. An aspiration journal is where you write AS IF the things you want to happen have already occurred. For example, I might write, “I’m so happy and grateful that I recorded a video today and had a breakthrough moment during a client call.”

Setting my intention in an aspiration journal clears my mind so I can go with the flow for the rest of the day. It’s always fun to re-read my old aspiration journals after the things I had been hoping for actually happened.

About a year ago, I closed my first website because I got a lot of feedback that it was too cutesy and silly for a life coaching business. I rebranded myself as a serious coach and made my site more “business-y,” whatever that means.

I regretted my decision almost immediately. Sure, I looked like a professional coach, but I didn’t quite feel like me. I was caught between my serious desire to improve women’s lives and my goofy disposition that needed a creative outlet.

It wasn’t until I attended Jess Lively’s Business With Intention Workshop this year that I realized how much I missed my old sweet self. After a lot of soul searching and clarity work, I split my business into 2 separate businesses. Sage Grayson Coaching (sagegrayson.com) has my kick-ass life coaching services, and the newly (re)launched Sweet and Sage (sweetandsage.com) is an online magazine for women who crave advice that’s both kind and smart.

Mistakes are a part of life! If I hadn’t made the mistake of pretending to be like other coaches, I wouldn’t be as clear about who I am right now. There are many sides of my personality, and don’t have to suppress the real me.

The thing I love most about life coaching is that I get to watch women put themselves first, sometimes after years of neglecting their own needs. We have the power to change our lives, so why not do the things that make you happy?

I have 32 magazine subscriptions (yes, really!) because reading them inspires me and fills me with joy. My husband and I vacation in Walt Disney World every year because we never outgrew our childish wonder.

What are your wildest dreams? What amazing things are calling you? It’s your life…make it sweet!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Sophie was actually our Boston Foodie, where she did an amazing job cooking up a delicious spread for our workshop attendees. She was the first foodie I worked with, and she truly went above and beyond my expectations. Sophie is a hard working, driven individual and I can’t wait for you to read how she lives her life with intention. Enjoy!

After a long, cold, dark New England winter, spending time outside has never been more important to me. Not getting fresh air and sunshine was starting to have a serious effect on my mood. I was grumpy and tired and didn’t have very much energy. Now that the days are getting lighter and longer, I am trying to spend as much time outdoors as I can. Whether it’s going for a run before work, a walk during lunch, or eating dinner on our porch, spending time outside has made a huge difference. I feel so much better with some fresh air in my system!

Though hard to admit at times, I can be big on talk but small on actions. I think up big ideas but admittedly fall short when it comes to turning any of those dreams into reality. This stems from many things, but mainly a fear of failure. In reality though, that’s no way to live your life. Without the risk, we would never have any rewards. Working for Jess is the best example of this. When I saw her posting for a Boston Foodie, it immediately perked my interest. I thought, “I could totally do that!” But after 5 minutes of being confident and excited, the self-doubt started creeping in and I made several excuses for why I shouldn’t apply. However, rather than miss out on yet another exciting opportunity, I told myself to “just do it!” Just right the email and hit the send button. It was terrifying. I was waiting on pins and needles to hear back from Jen and Jess. However, this leap of faith turned into one of the best things I’ve done post-college. By taking a risk, I gained a huge sense of accomplishment and pride, met new friends and learned so much about myself.

As someone who is definitely guilty of having their iPhone glued to their hand, I am desperately trying to break this habit. I once received an important piece of advice: every time you’re with another person and look at your phone, you’re essentially telling that person that they’re not as important as whatever is on your screen. That is not a message I want to send [many] people. But, it’s easy to fall into that habit. My boyfriend and I now have a rule: no phones on date night. Especially now that we live together, it’s very easy to take alone time for granted. Now that we have a dedicated date night for ourselves (without the company of our iPhones), those nights have become really special. We’re able to focus just on each other, our relationship, and whatever delicious food we happen to be eating that night.

Food is such a huge part of my life. At times it seems that when I’m not eating a meal, I’m thinking about the next. Spending time in the kitchen is one of my favorite ways to de-stress after a long day. I also love cooking for others. For me, there’s no better place to get together with friends than around a dinner table. However, working a full time job means that eating a real dinner at the end of the day often falls to the wayside. After a long day at work, spending the evening in the kitchen can sometimes feel more daunting than relaxing. However, I’ve found that with a little bit of planning, cooking during the week isn’t that hard at all. A stocked pantry and a rough idea of the week ahead results in great food, which fills me up both mentally and physically.

As a twenty-something, the future is equally as exciting as it is scary. There are so many “what ifs” that if I think too hard about them all, I just get overwhelmed with worry. I can’t help it! However, I’ve found that all worrying about the future does is get in the way of having fun in the now. At the end of the day, I only get to be young and frivolous once, right? I have the rest of my life to worry about the big stuff. So for now, I’m working on enjoying the moment. While I’m not throwing all caution to the wind, I’m worrying less about what’s going to happen in the next 5 years, and worrying more about how I’m going to make the next 5 days count.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

I’m so happy to introduce the very talented Jenna of Jenna Arak. Jenna is an amazing writer and has a knack for telling an engaging story. She is known for being the modern day story teller where she helps people like me and you develop and hone in on the voice of our brand.

Not only does Jenna have her business, but she has a full-time job and is soon to be married this summer, so I couldn’t wait to read how she leads her life with intention. I can tell you this, she didn’t disappoint me one bit!

No, but seriously. Write it down in your planner – “ME TIME”. Because when you commit your time to everybody else and you feel overwhelmed and you just want a minute to do whatever in the world it is you feel like doing (including sleeping; sleeping is great), that’s on you. And it’s on me too, because I make this mistake all the time.

When I find myself frustrated that everybody and everything is demanding so much of my time, I remind myself that I am the arbiter of my own schedule and I can (mostly) decide how I spend my time. So I choose to spend it well. And for me that means, making time for myself. Not thinking it or hoping for it, but writing it down and sticking to it, like I would any other social engagement. Maybe I spend that time reading or writing or working or playing with my puppy or sleeping (probably sleeping), but the point is – it’s entirely up to me. And that leaves me all the more refreshed and prepared to devote the rest of my time to the people and projects that matter most to me.

I have some perfectionist tendencies. And though that sounds like a great quality, it really just means that I struggle with owning up to my mistakes. It’s a miserable feeling when I fail and I’m quick to excuse away my behavior or the consequences of a decision I’ve made.

But I’ve learned (and am still learning) that I benefit so much more – and am able to move on so much more quickly – from simply understanding that I’ve messed up and owning up to the fact that I’ve made a mistake (and that’s okay). I am human and imperfect and sometimes I do or say or think stupid things. Not even sometimes, a lot of the time. But instead of trying to make excuses or sweep things under the rug, I’ve learned that it’s best to own up to my fumbles, learn from them, and move on. On to the next one. As quickly as possible.

Is this an obvious one? You’d think so. But in all aspects of life and career, I watch people (myself included; pretty much always myself) veer from this advice. I make to-do lists every day of my life. I take great pride in them, actually, and in my ability to keep track of and stay on top of every project I take on. But I never cross everything off, unless I first prioritize what is most important. What really needs to get done. It’s not everything on that list; it never is.

And I think a lot of us tend to list EVERYTHING we could possibly do and then do what’s quick and easy first, without expending the necessary energy tackling what’s tough and important. So I call myself out every day – personally and professionally – asking, what three things HAVE.TO.HAPPEN today? Make it clear. Then get it done.

I think there’s a lot of pride behind the idea of “powering through” – and I think it’s valuable, no doubt. But I’ve learned that there’s a lot of value in taking a break too. At my last job, I never took a break. Ever. I powered through the day, through lunch, through my evenings and my weekends. I grew to resent the hell out of that. And I still power through a great deal now too. But I take advantage of a break when I have it – even when I don’t, I can often make time and – shockingly – the world doesn’t fall apart while I rest.

When presented with the opportunity to, I will stop and breathe, take a walk outside, put in my headphones, read a book – right at my desk. And I never regret it. I always come back to my work invigorated and more empowered to get through the rest of my day. There’s value in the times you rest, as well, and I try to remember that.

I’m a grudge-holder. There, I said it. Always have been, though I hope not to always be. I have a very keen memory, which aids (quite unfortunately) in my ability to remember not only every single time an outside party has wronged me, but also to remember those times I have made mistakes and let myself and those around me down.

I think it’s fine and fair and human to be upset about things – to be hurt by wrongdoing or disappointed in a choice you made. But once you’ve sulked and stewed and hopefully learned from it, LET IT GO. Let it go. Every single time I’ve held on to my negativity, I’ve added negativity. That’s not the way I want to live my life. I sulk, I stew, I learn, I let it go, and I move on. And I’m so much happier for it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

I love doing this feature every week because there are so many talented, motivated and creative bloggers and business owners out there, and it’s so refreshing to hear how other people handle the stresses of our online industry. I feel like this feature brings us all closer together—knowing that what we going through, we’re not alone.

And after working with Gloria of Little White Whale for a feature on my blog. I knew she would be someone that would be able to really connect and share some truly positive vibes for how she lives her live with intention. Head on over to Little White Whale if you are looking to laugh, be inspired, want a dose of all things pretty, and if you need a new site design.  Seriously, she’s talented! Now let’s hear it from Gloria.

It’s surprisingly easy to take everything in your life for granted day after day, and it’s even easier to obsess over the imperfections and annoyances until they overshadow the good. To help keep a positive outlook, I’ve started jotting down little notes about funny or happy things that happen each day. This simple exercise forces me to stop and reflect on all the amazing things I have in my life, big and small. When I realize how much I truly have to be grateful for, life’s curveballs seem just a bit more conquerable.

My dog, Toby, has NO qualms whatsoever about letting you know what exactly he wants. If he’s thirsty, he loudly bangs his water bowl against the floor until you fill it up. If he thinks his walk was too short, he lays down on the floor and refuses to walk up the stairs to our apartment. If he wants to play, he brings you his beloved tennis ball. Speaking up for what you want in life can be tough, especially if you tend to be a bit shy like me, but my past experiences have taught me that being open and direct is the best way to get what you want. Just ask!

You don’t have to Instagram every sandwich you eat. You don’t have to live-tweet throughout your favorite show. You don’t have to check your email while you’re walking down the street. You don’t have to endlessly fiddle with your phone while you’re waiting for your friend to arrive at a bar. You don’t have to watch a beautiful sunset from behind a screen because you need to take photos from every angle. Seriously, you don’t!  I’m definitely guilty of doing all of the above, so making a conscious effort to unplug more has been a move in the right direction. It’s a wonderful feeling to step away from all these distractions and be able to give the world your full attention!

My friends and family are a goofy bunch, and I’m certainly no exception! I think the key to a happy life definitely involves karaoke, crazy getups, fake mustaches, spontaneous dance parties, and lots of terrible puns. There can often be a lot of pressure in today’s society to look and act cool (even as an adult!) that it’s just refreshing to be able to loosen up and surround myself with people who make me smile. Life’s far too short to take yourself so seriously, so have fun with it!

Teddy Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”, is one of my favorite life mantras. There will forever be someone out there who is smarter and prettier and [insert enviable trait] than you -  it’s a fact of life! Instead of working myself up into a jealous frenzy over those who are always seemingly one step ahead, I refocus that energy into being the best that I can be. There isn’t an ultimate path to success or happiness, and we all bumble through life with our own personal successes and failures. There are no winners in this game, so live and love your life and stop spending so much time keeping score!

Today, you get to meet Allison of Halcyon Style. She is a driven and talented blogger with a passion for design and interior styling. And the best part, is she is turning her passion into her day job. Not only does she have a knack for transforming an interior space into something functional and beautiful, but she is extremely nice and an overall very positive and refreshing person.

Allison also lives in the great city of Boston. And we all know about the horrible tragedy that shook the city and our country, and if you’ve ever visited Boston, you know the people and the city are welcoming and charming. You will notice with her intentions there are beautiful photos taken of the city, so you can see just how lovely it is during this time or year.

photo by Sophie Smith

Rather than use the typical correlating image for each of my intentions, I’ve chosen instead to use images taken this Monday in the Boston Public Garden, not far from the bombing sites, after the moment of silence held in honor and memory of last week’s Marathon Bombings. It was a glorious afternoon and I couldn’t  help but capture the coming of spring through my camera lens. After a week of nothing but horrific and grim news media coming from my city I felt it important to provide some images of Boston’s beauty. As winter turns to spring, my fellow Bostonians begin to heal and move forward in the wake of tragedy.

In light of the recent horrific events in my city, this intention seems more important than ever. I cannot tell you how many times a day I’ve previously walked by the bombing sites in the five years I’ve lived here. This just shows how you never know what will happen as you go about your day. Therefore, live your life to the fullest. Try not to look too much at your past. Forget those lingering, nagging regrets. Curb the anxious worry about your future. Don’t take a moment for granted. Live your best life in the present and the rest will come in time. With this in mind I need to be better about making plans with family and socializing with friends both near and far.

One of my resolutions this year was to take more risks professionally, to take charge of building my brand and business. I finally signed up for Blogshop and not only learned how to use Photoshop to my blogging advantage, but also made helpful connections in the Boston blogging community. I also assisted Jess with her With Intention workshops earlier this year, leaving with more connections and friends as well as a sense that yes, I am on the right career path. Recently I also landed an internship with one of Boston’s favorite bloggers and interior designer. Leaving your comfort zone is hard but it can lead to great things!

This is a topic that’s been circling around the web for the past several months and I’ve taken it to heart. One of my daily struggles between my business, my Blog and other responsibilities is finding the time to do it all without working late into the night and neglecting my friends and family in the process. I’ve been trying out several methods to help work more efficiently such as setting time limits, batching tasks, and working on my most important or time sensitive projects earlier in the day rather than waiting until the late, lazy afternoon. Slowly, but surely I’m discovering what methods work best for me.

The other day my rambunctious three-year-old niece stopped what she was doing, leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “I love you, Auntie,” my heart melted. I know she loves me, she knows I love her but it took on a whole new meaning when she told me completely at random and unprovoked. Think of what a smile and courteous dialogue could mean to a harried salesperson or your local barista. Or what relief you can bring by assisting an elderly neighbor burdened by grocery bags up the stairs or down the hall. I am reminded of the saying, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” These little random acts of kindness often have the biggest emotional impact both for you and for those you’ve helped.

I’ll be perfectly candid, I’ve struggled with varying degrees of anxiety my entire life. I’ve had to learn, the hard way, to listen to my mind and take a little personal time everyday, to find a bit of inner peace after a crazy day. To breathe in the positive and breath out the negative. I find my daily yoga practices and monthly facials work best at slowing down my racing thoughts. It may seem like an extravagance to spend time or money on such activities but instead think of it as investing in yourself and your wellbeing. Without this you can’t be at your best professionally and personally.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today, I have a guest that I’m truly looking forward to introducing you to. Her name is Liz and she is the blogger behind Grey and Scout. I found her blog, loved it, clicked on her twitter, and we eventually started chatting and have since become twitter-friends (lucky me).

Liz has a witty sense of humor that will make you laugh, she is open and honest about good and bad days (that we all have) and her blog is full of beautiful images that are drool-worthy. Liz is a blogger with impeccable taste and  is amazingly talented at home styling. When you visit her blog, you will fall in love with her house tour, and you will want all her favorite interior pieces. It is hard not to be inspired by all the things that Liz provides, so needles to say, I’ve been excited to see how she designs her life with intention.

I went through a period of time when I just could not fall asleep. And if I did manage to drift off for a few minutes, some electronic device was near to remind me of all things I had on my to do list (and my to do list is ironically what was keeping me awake in the first place!) I’d had it. If it’s capable of making a noise, it’s gotta go! No more electronics on my nightstand. I replaced my iPad, laptop, cell phone and a billion chargers with soothing scented candles, fresh flowers, and good reads. I suffered from withdraw symptoms of sorts for a few nights, but very quickly discovered that all of the work, emails, instagram photos and new pins would be there the next day. I’m two months into my over-wired rehab and have been sleepin’ like a little baby!

During office days, I read blogs, websites and emails all day. I proofread, write and re-write. I sit down at my desk at 8am, and for some unknown reason it is shocking when I look up and it’s 6 o’clock! While emails and blogging are a part of my job, and I love composing posts, there are days I feel like the content I read online is singular. I found myself craving more. I started a small ‘movement’ to combine my days with all the online goodies and some good ol’ fashioned, tangible page turnin’. First on the list, finally finishing Diane Keaton’s book ‘Then Again’ and Mindy Kaling’s ‘Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me.’ You know, because everyone who’s trying to find time to read should start with two books.

Clearly, I’ve got a theme goin’ on…less virtual, more real. It has taken me a long time to embrace the quiet moments in my life. To be still and really take in my surroundings. Not just hear, but really listen to someone without constantly checking my phone for new emails. To pour a glass of wine, sit down with my husband and have a conversation without the TV as background noise. My goal is to truly see, feel, and live every moment, good or bad.

Big or small, celebrate the moments that make you smile. For me it’s completing a styling project, partaking in an especially rewarding day volunteering, not forgetting to fill the coffee maker with water, waking up on the right side of the bed (seriously, it’s the small things)…celebrate all the moments that make you feel good. No more saving the bubbly for “something big.” Big is now, and now is what’s most important. Now is today and today is worth celebrating!

Keeping true to me, my beliefs, my thoughts, my style as a blogger and writer is easier said than done sometimes. I see or read something and it can sometimes be difficult to stay the course and remain true to my vision. I’m the first to admit that when I see someone else’s amazing blog or hear that someone came up with a crazy awesome idea, I sometimes feel like I need to rethink everything. But becoming more confidant in my vision, embracing my triumphs and my mistakes, not comparing others’ successes to my work, and staying committed to my path, I can be truly happy for myself and for others.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Natalie is a very talented blogger that I’ve recently had the pleasure to get to know. Her blog is easy to get invested in with posts like her Style Diary, Life posts and her beautiful wedding. The best part is the tone of her blog, it’s honest and uplifting, like a friend you can relate to. I’ve been looking forward to seeing how she currently lives her life with intention, so let’s take a peak.

This is a fairly new intention as I’ve recently become more aware of the fact that I’m living certain parts of my life in fear. The books, articles, and blog posts I’ve been reading lately have helped me realize this. I say it’s a “fairly” new intention because when I was younger and found myself in a situation that was out of my comfort zone, I knew I had to embrace it. I was super shy as a kid and as I got older I took jobs that made me doubt I could do them – the ones that forced me to constantly interact with people. And guess what, I’m not shy anymore. I need to get back to realizing that when something scares me, it’s probably a sign that I need to do it.

Weirdness and all. Nowadays, we always know what’s going on in other peoples’ lives thanks to social media and it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially in the blogging world. Anytime I feel myself heading to that place, I remind myself that I just need to do me. If I’m not going to be me, then who is? Someone else’s life might be awesome but so is mine. It’s the quirks and not-so-perfect that make us who we are and make us interesting. Sometimes it’s helpful to just shut it all out, not open Instagram, and instead focus on what makes me happy, what I enjoy, and the people I love. Fully embracing who I am and where I’m at always seem to combat feelings of doubt, jealousy, or inadequacy.

This year, I have made my health more of a serious priority. I bought myself a monthly yoga membership and have been doing my best to eat healthy, whole, nutritious foods. I certainly haven’t been perfect, but by focusing on my health and thinking about how my decisions will affect my body (and my mind) have made me more successful than in the past. Also, for the first time, I’m focusing on how I feel rather than just how I look. This time it’s about the inside too. This shift in focus has really kept me motivated. The moments when my physical strength surprises me, when I feel refreshed and clear minded, when I suddenly find myself balancing in a yoga pose I have never done before, those moments are stronger motivation than anything else.

This is kind of a 2-in-1. There is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t think about what I’m grateful for. The saying that being grateful makes what we have enough is so true. I most often find myself reflecting on what I’m thankful for at the end of my yoga practice or on my commute home – the quiet moments that I have to myself. Initially the title of this intention only included “be grateful,” but once I started to write, I realized that the quiet moments I have to myself every day have become very important to me and are often what ignite my gratitude. Quietness fosters gratitude for what we have and what we are. I think these two intentions are more important today than ever. We’re constantly taking in information, especially online, and we are constantly being marketed to. Being quiet and being grateful, I think, are essential to bringing balance to our lives.

As much as I believe in hard work, I think it’s pointless if you aren’t going to enjoy life. Sometimes you just have to let everything go and have fun. Be weird, sing loud, dance like you mean it, tell stupid jokes, take trips. My husband and I usually take several trips throughout the year – usually (hopefully) one big trip and then a few weekend road trips. Whether it’s our annual trip to Stagecoach Country Music Festival, a weekend in Tahoe with our friends, or even our typical BBQ birthday parties at my parents’ house, these are the times we remember the most. Having fun has its own way of nourishing your soul and refreshing your spirit. It’s what makes all our hard work worth it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Jen here, with another Design Your Life feature. Today, I’m excited to introduce you to a new friend of mine, Lisa, blogger behind Elembee. Not only does Lisa have a great and very addicting blog with awesome content, but she is the talent behind my blog design.

After completing my one-on-one business workshop with Jess last year, I was ready to start the rebranding process, and Jess recommended Lisa with flying colors. Lisa, has been able to take her blog and turn it into a successful, full time business–so I thought she would be perfect for this series. Let’s take a peak at how she has designed her life with intention.

Jess always says, “Start where you are, and just keep going.” This was a huge kick in the butt for me when I knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, but had no idea where I actually did want to be. So I stopped worrying about what I didn’t know, started doing what I could, and eventually figured things out along the way. Lately, I’ve been taking that advice to a more basic level and applying it to everyday tasks, thanks to something Kathleen Shannon wrote — when you want to do something, just take the first, most basic step and start. I don’t stare at my to-do list anymore — I pick a task, and open a blank document immediately. That simple act is enough to get the momentum going to work through the rest of my list.

As I mentioned, I used to be so worried about what I didn’t know that I wouldn’t try new things. It wasn’t until I started approaching everything as something I could learn from, even if it didn’t go well, that I got over my fear and just did things anyway. And that has been a huge factor in growing my business — by jumping into projects, I was able to quickly figure out what I enjoyed, what I didn’t, and how I could do things better next time. When you approach everything as an opportunity to learn, there are no mistakes, because you always get something out of the experience, even if it’s just knowing that you’ll never do it again. And knowing something from experience is a lot more powerful than knowing from what someone else has told you, because you know exactly why something does or doesn’t work for you.

Once I pick a task on my to-do list, I focus on just that. I may have 15 other things to do that day, but they are not going to get done if I spend 10 minutes worrying about how I’m going to get it all done rather than just picking something and doing it. If I’m stuck on something, I put it aside, find something else to do, and come back to it later. I try (not always successfully) to do this in my personal life as well — if it’s time to relax, I try to put all thoughts of what I need to get done aside so I can appreciate the present moment. No matter what I’m doing, I just can’t do it well and fully enjoy it if my mind is in a million other places.

This is a new one for me — I can be so hard on myself. I just completed my first year of running my business full-time, and a reader asked what I was doing to celebrate. I’m embarrassed to say that it never occurred to me to plan something! I was so focused on my to-do list that I actually almost forgot the anniversary. It made me realize that I need to stop, enjoy, and celebrate the things I do, no matter how small, before a year flies by and I don’t remember how I spent it or got to where I am. To truly appreciate where you are now, you need to stop and remember where you were along the way, and celebrate how far you have come.

A couple of years ago, I changed my eating and exercise habits to be more healthy. I slowly undid all of those habits in the past year, and I’ve been struggling with the fact that I haven’t been able to just turn them back on again at once. Then I remembered, I didn’t establish those habits all at once to begin with — I made one small change at a time. When one change became habit, I found something else to change. So lately I’ve been focusing on eating one healthy meal a day instead, which is becoming habit, and making it that much easier to make healthy choices at other times as well. And I think this works for anything you want to change or accomplish — it goes back to taking the first step, and doing one thing at a time. Find one thing you can do now, and when that becomes easy, find something else you can do next. Big things don’t happen overnight.
 

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today we are going to be hearing from my first feature, Lori, blogger behind A Positive Curl. I stumbled across her blog a few weeks ago and every time I visit, she’s posting about how we can all celebrate our lives to the fullest. Her posts are honest, inviting and totally relatable. I knew she would be the perfect person to kick this series off again, and I was so glad when she agreed to participate, I know you will be too.

I don’t always wake up feeling great about myself.  I have bad hair days, bad skin days, bad everything days, but I have learned that I cannot rely on those external things to feel good about myself because they can change on a day-to-day basis.  What I can rely on, though, is knowing who I am.  I am strong.  I am beautiful.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  That knowledge gives me the courage to start my day in peace and walk through the ups and downs of life with confidence.

When my husband comes home from a long day at work, I stop what I’m doing and greet him at the door with a big hug and a huge smile.  My smile conveys to him that I am happy and excited to see him, and I know that he appreciates this greatly.  As important as it is to me to greet my loved ones with a smile, it’s important that I greet others with a smile as well.  With people that I see at work, church or even at the grocery store, I do my best to greet them with a warm and genuine smile.  A smile is a simple but powerful gesture.  You never know what someone else may be going through, and your smile may be the very thing that brightens and uplifts their day.

One of my newest life intentions, and something that I try to practice every moment of every day, is to be love to the people around me.  When I first thought about it, it seemed a little overwhelming.  How could I possibly be love to everyone around me?  But 1 Corinthians 13 shows me simple ways that I can be love to others.  I can be love by being patient and kind.  I can be love by not envying someone else or being jealous of what someone else may have.  I can be love by not getting easily upset and not keeping a record of any wrongs done to me.  I can be love by looking for the best in others, being filled with hope and persevering through every circumstance.

I have an “I-can-do-it-all-by-myself” type of personality.  I very rarely ask for help because I never want to appear as if I don’t have all the answers.  But the truth is that I don’t have all the answers.  I never have and I never will.  I am learning that there are people in my life who have already been down the road that I would like to travel on, and it would be silly of me to not ask for their help.  Last summer, I had an idea for a blog but no idea where to begin.  At the time, I had been following Jess Lively’s blog for a few months, and I really admired her work as a successful blogger and business woman.  When I discovered that she offered one-on-one consulting, I knew that I needed to ask for her help, and I’m so thankful that I did.  Jess was beyond amazing in helping to bring clarity to my jumbled thoughts and helping me find purpose in my blog, which is something that I would have never been able to do all on my own.

I have lots of “kinks” in my life – things about myself that I don’t like or wish I could change.  For years, I hated my naturally curly hair.  I did everything I could to hide my curls, until one day I decided that it was time to stop fighting them and begin to embrace them.  I now wear my hair very big and very curly, and I love it!  Learning to celebrate my hair has opened my eyes to other areas of my life that are in need of a little celebrating.  I may not have beautifully toned arms like First Lady Michelle Obama, but I’m still going to rock my sleeveless shirts in the summer time.  My voice may not sound like the amazingly talented Mariah Carey, but I’m still going to sing my heart out every chance I get.  My height and size may not be that of a gorgeous supermodel, but I am still going to stand tall and walk with confidence, knowing that I am perfect just the way that I am.  Whatever the kinks in my life may be, I’m done fighting them.  It’s time to celebrate them.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: trevor of pink sky at night

Families, significant others, friends, and pets. The interactions we have when someone is counting on us make us so much more of a selfless person on a daily basis, and I think it is so important to never be the only one you’re supporting. Some of my most giving friends are this way because they had a new sibling introduced to the household while they where already teenagers, and just beginning to learn about responsibilities and priorities. Since we can’t all spontaneously introduce a new child to the world, adopting a new pet can be a great way to get a crash course in responsibility and giving. This is my cat Smudge and I even have a betta fish on my desk at work to remind me during the day that I’m not the only one counting on me.

I’m not particularly materialistic, but I’d be a fool not to walk down the street and think people aren’t making snap judgments about me, as I know for a fact I am constantly making visual assessments of those around me. Investing in oneself doesn’t mean spending frivolous amounts of money on excessive things. To me, it means having the essentials to be properly prepared for any and all situations. I recently spent more on a coat than I would normally allow myself, but I can justify it as an investment because it filled a gap in my current possessions, as I didn’t have an overcoat that I could wear in professional settings.

Life can be crazy, and everybody needs some time to themselves, but we don’t always have a space. If you don’t have one, make one. I live in a big Victorian mansion with ten other guys, and it became essential early on for me to carve out my own space where I can zone out and work on things that interest me. I also find that creating a serene space you can come back to over and over again to work, can make you much more calm during those deadline crunch periods that everybody in every profession seems to have.

K.I.S.S. or keep it simple stupid. A mantra I always keep in mind, not only in my design career but also in everyday life. As humans we lean to the extravagant, and sometimes we need to step back and decide if we’re really taking the most direct route to our end goals. Occam’s Razor. Is the Blood Orange Caramel Apple Martini Margarita really a better idea than the classic gin and tonic? Take a step back. Reassess.

Work hard. Play harder. I take myself pretty seriously at all times. When I’m working I like to give it my all and not walk away until it’s the best it can be. I think the same thing can be said of my weekend life.  I leave my work at work and my drinks at the bar. You have to let off steam to maintain an energetic work ethic day in and day out. It’s important  to be able to walk away from certain elements in your life so that you can come back to them completely calm and refreshed. If I can’t get away enough, I slip in one and then I slip in the other, and I feel my best when I excel in both.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Hilary of Dean Street Society

My new year’s resolution for 2012 was to “make things happen + love people well”. As a solo-preneur I am, honestly, overwhelmed on a daily basis with how much there is to do for Dean Street Society. Deciding to “make things happen” is about taking action today, right now, in this hour. It’s about taking the first step in a long project, just sending the tough email, not letting myself get immobilized by the overwhelm. I have a vision for my business that is bold + I think the #1 baddie that can get in my way is myself if I lose my big vision + confidence that I can make it happy little by little each day.

There’s a book called “The 5 Love Languages”. I haven’t read it. But the basic premise is there are 5 ways people give + receive love. So often what makes me feel loved, is not what makes you feel loved. NYC is a busy, bustling place filled with people with fast-paced lives. I can’t love everyone + I’ve had to accept that I have far less social play time since I started a business. But I try to focus when I’m with people on asking about them, making eye contact, remembering details, sensing whether or not they want to share a struggle or be distracted with silliness. I’m not perfect at it, but I desire to cherish the people in my life + love them uniquely in the ways that really fill their hearts.

A few summers ago I worked in a tiny no-stop-light town on a lake upstate. At first my best gay friend + I were losing our minds with the long stretches of day with nothing to do. After a few weeks, the rhythm of my soul began to slow, change, embrace. As a girl who often thrives on the adrenaline of NYC, I now also crave quiet, simple, rest like water. There was a season in which I was only a power-walking city girl. And glowed. Now I need both. And carving out that space in my life was a huge motivator in starting my own business.

It’s been fascinating as a stylist to realize how much fear people have. Fear of color, fear of pattern, fear of being seen, noticed, too much, not enough, wrong, uncool, unflattering. It breaks my heart how many people leave the house hoping not to be seen, just blend in. When I wear a saturated peacock blue dress or a fun pair of polka dot pants, people compliment me + they smile. It’s like having fresh flowers in a room. It brings light + joy. It makes the picture prettier for everyone else, while also making you look confident in your own skin, which is always a delight to be around.

In her book “The Fire Starter Sessions” author Danielle LaPorte asks you to distill what it is you want to feel in life. For me these three words sum up everything. I want to be in control of my life, of my days, with the ability to create, help, teach. I want to be around joyful people, doing lovely things. I want to use my talented + gifts to the fullest. When I’m working with a one-on-one client, on set for a photo shoot, filming a style segment on-camera or talking business with a fellow entrepreneur friend over coffee — I feel all three of those things + am affirmed that I’m absolutely doing what I’m meant to do in life.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: rita of TOMORROWtoday

I love to read, listen to, watch and talk about basically anything and everything. I love to learn about all sorts of different things because you never know when you will be able to put something to use or find a way to use what you have learned to do something that matters. Even more, I try to surround myself with curious, interesting people who can challenge me and who I will learn from.

I am obsessed with travel. I grew up traveling to see family all over the US and the world and I believe that my experiences taught me to be grateful, humble and respectful of differences. Whether it be short weekend getaways or longer adventures, I learn something about myself and about my relationships on each and every trip I take. I honestly think the world would be a better place if we all had the opportunity to see the world and gain perspective a few weeks of each year.

I’m realizing more and more that I am at my best when I am regularly physically active and challenging myself beyond my expectations. Aside from the obvious (being healthier and sleeping better), I’m also more creative. When I think back on the last few months, the majority of my more inspired, fleshed out ideas (throwing a last minute fundraiser, well received blog posts, great presents for friends) have come to me while I was working out. And I never feel more inspired or motivated than when I finish something that sort of made me want to pee my pants at the beginning (i.e., waterfall rapeling in Costa Rica!) Clearly, something about tuning out my brain turns it on in a different way, and this is something I want to take advantage of going forward.

Spend time with people you love and that love you back. Surround yourself with things that you love and that inspire you (sometimes, that means shoes!). Find a job or a mission that you love so much that you don’t mind the mundane aspects that inevitably come with it. I believe that if you focus on creating a life filled with love, everything else will fall into place.

I try to be a good friend and family member. I love to send cards, give presents, call and email often and do what I can to show the people I love that I love them. As fulfilling and wonderful as my relationships are, I still felt like something was missing. I recently started volunteering my time for a cause I believe in and it felt like I found the missing link. I think that by doing good for people in a way which you don’t stand to benefit, you grow and learn more than you could ever imagine.

LOVE photo by Max Wanger. Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: carrie of dream green diy

I am such a believer in the power of the mind. If I convince myself that I won’t get the job, that my friends are moving beyond me in life, that I’m really not good at what I do, then those things will start to become real. But if I consciously make the decision to believe in myself and the decisions that I’m making, then there’s really no room to think otherwise. Having a good attitude, whether natural or gently forced when needed, has helped me to become my biggest advocate.

There’s something about growing up in a sweet southern town that has taught me that little things can mean so much. My memories consist of movies at the dollar theater, parking our cars high up on a hill at dusk to watch the street lights flick on one-by-one, sitting around a campfire beside the lake, driving with the windows down just to listen to my favorite songs, reading with my back against a brick wall in a quiet cul-de-sac…These are the ordinary but extraordinary things that have made me the reflective and simple girl that I will always be, no matter how old I get or where I go in life.

My husband would call this enabling, but I’m just gonna say it – Sometimes a girl just has to treat herself! I’ll never forget my parents telling me as often as they could that they were proud of me. Now out on my own, I’ve come to find value in self-pride and treating myself when I think I’ve done okay. A new pair of shoes here, a thrifted set of dishes there – Whenever I hit a milestone or defeat a challenge, I make sure to celebrate in style with a little retail therapy. Whatever puts an extra spring in your step, may that be a bowl of ice cream or a Swedish massage, I believe a little indulgence is important in celebrating life’s little (or big!) triumphs.

Fire up the iPod and sing out loud in the kitchen when I’m home alone. Try on my prom dresses, high heels, heck, even my wedding dress, just to feel fancy on a Friday night in. Watch chick flicks back-to-back. Go dancing. I think it’s enormously important to just be silly and do things you don’t normally do – or shouldn’t very often do, like chowing down on chocolate cupcakes. Life is too short not to have a little giddy, geeky fun every now and then.

Entering adulthood (with a couple of broken hearts along the way) has taught me that the only person who will ever truly understand me is me. My husband and my family are invaluable treasures and are right there behind me every single day, but sometimes it’s important to step away from the opinions, the advice, even the encouragement to listen to my own heart. I’ve learned to trust in myself in a way that I never did in high school or college. Sometimes its simply taking the night to read a book on the back deck, or hiding away in my studio to write or draw, but that me time is my way of hitting the “refresh” button, taking a much-needed deep breath and listening to my own mental voice tell me that “it’s going to be okay.”

first photo by Mallory Benedict. Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Vulnerability is one of the most difficult gifts we can give ourselves. In this day and age, it is easy to get swept up in our fast-paced, ‘pull yourself up by your own bootstraps’ culture. The truth is, acting like the marlboro man or the lone ranger, someone who achieves success on their own and despite the odds, isn’t the reality. I have had more success when I am surrounded by a supportive community than when I am on my own. When I have taken risks and shared my emotional self with others, I’ve formed deeper relationships and have found a strong sense of validation for who I am. Sometimes, it doesn’t always go as I’ve planned or would have hoped, but to be vulnerable poses a greater return in the quality of my relationships than hiding in the corner (and pretending my problems don’t exist) does.

Let’s do some myth busting! I can sometimes become overwhelmed by my fears or concerns about my life. Here are some examples of fears: “I don’t want to go to a party because someone from work who said something nasty to me might be there”; “I am afraid to fly because that plane landed in the Hudson River”; “I don’t like to put up style posts on my blog because people might think that I am not enough of a model-type to pull it off.” These are all real fears of mine (see, vulnerability!), and the quality of my life is greatly decreased because of the power they have over me. By doing a bit of myth busting, I can work to overcome them. Busting myths requires taking risks and challenging those fears head on, and then creating a track record of my positive qualities or outcomes. For instance, if I focus on the fact that my rude coworker’s treatment of me is more a reflection of who they are rather than me, I can bust the myth that I am not worthy of friendships, and go and enjoy that party! I’ll add the success of the party and having fun with people to my track record. Then, when I have some doubt or fears, I can look to my past successes and say, “If I was fine before, I will be fine again.”

A large part of being vulnerable and busting myths is being willing to love yourself, and to practice self-love daily. I am definitely my worst critic, but have found that self-love has helped turn this bad habit around. I’ve started writing down some of my strongest negative thoughts on one side of a note card, and then writing a piece of positive self-talk that combats it on the other side. I have these all over my house, wherever I will see them most, as a reminder to myself that I am of value. One card I have taped to my computer to remind me that I am a writer of value says, “I am a talented writer who can affect positive change through authenticity and sharing my honest stories and opinions.” Seeing this card everyday keeps me motivated to continue to do what I do everyday. It really does make me feel loved.

Mindfulness is very tricky, considering I am a go, go, go type of person. Always on the run, I rarely stop to think and reflect about what I am doing. However, not being aware of my actions or intentions can often cause me to go off track or slip into a bad habit of negative self talk or letting fear run my life. Being mindful and taking time out of my day to sit, reflect, and meditate on my intentions and actions has helped me to live a more focused life. Mindfulness can also be called prayer and/or meditation. When I am practicing being mindful, I usually stop and close my eyes for a few minutes and focus on my breath. Then, I journal about my emotions and thoughts during the day so that I am in better touch with myself and my purpose in life. I can’t even being to explain to you how much of a difference this has made for me, especially in my work! I am happier, more fulfilled, and more productive because of it.

As you can see, all of these intentions are intertwined. Every one requires the other, but taking risks is one of the glues. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to bust myths or be vulnerable. When fear or doubt has controlled my life, taking risks often gets put on the back burner. When I am in a place of self-doubt and negative self-talk, I fall into my tried and true coping skills, the ones that make me feel the most in control. But usually, these coping mechanisms leave out mindfulness, self-love, and vulnerability, and I am often more closed off and afraid than when I started. Taking risks and challenging myself is the way out. I may be afraid of flying, but I am not going to let that stop me from traveling to Italy, a dream I’ve held since I was a little girl. So, I’ll take a risk and get on that plane (not without a little myth busting, self love, mindfulness and vulnerability, of course!). Taking risks helps to open up our souls to more possibilities, and grows our sense of self. We come to know ourselves better, and in the end, can love ourselves better.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: joelle of something charming

This. I have a problem with this sometimes. You see, I like to over think things, and plan out what I need to do. Sometimes it gets to the point though where I don’t get things done because I’m too busy planning out what I need to get done. Or I’m too busy worrying about all that I need to do to actually get things done. I’ve realized recently that I need to stop. I just need to stop worrying and thinking and just get it done. Because I’ll feel a lot better once I do.

This has to be one of the most powerful things I’ve realized in my life. I have a lot of experience with unhappiness, and even depression. And while I don’t believe that changing your mindset is going to change everything, knowing that you have the power to control your circumstances and outlook is a powerful thought. I make a very intentional decision every day to choose happiness and joy rather than anger or sadness or anxiety. I try to remember what is important in life, and that I’m seriously blessed to have all that I do.

I would not be able to get through the day if I didn’t prioritize. When you’re busy and have a thousand commitments, you just have to. And you have to be okay with the idea that you won’t get your entire to do list done in one day. That’s the beauty of prioritizing. I definitely prioritize things intentionally, making honest decisions as to what I value most and what work is the most important at the time. It really does help!

I am not an overly religious or spiritual person. I was raised in a church, but I currently consider myself religiously indifferent, though not necessarily agnostic, since I do have a set of beliefs that I subscribe to. That being said, I’ve recently {very recently} realized the power of having faith. Faith in anything, really. Yes, I pray to God, but I also have faith in myself and my family and my circumstances. I have to, or else I’d be too worried to get anything done. I have to believe that this is what I’m supposed to be doing, and that I can do it.

Over the summer, I got rid of 90% of my closet. Most of it was hand me downs leftover from my high school days {seriously embarrassing, at 25 years old}, and a lot of it was stuff that I bought spontaneously just because it was on sale. I’ve built my wardrobe back up over the summer using some of the lessons I’ve learned right here from Jess. If I’ve been intentional about anything in my life, it’s to only buy things that I absolutely love. It’s resulted in a closet that I am proud of, which hasn’t before happened in my life. I now only wear things that are my style, and it’s been fun to discover what my style is!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Rain is one of my favorite sights and sounds. There is something so beautiful and cozy about a good storm, and I hope to never loose that appreciation for it. I intend to enjoy a thunderstorm curled up with a good book and hot tea for the rest of my life. I hope to never get too annoyed when rain changes my plans or makes my hair look like a wet dog, instead I hope to dance and play and kiss in the rain. Even on my wedding day.

I need to really work on letting things go. Negative people, not getting the job, past relationships to name a few. I have a tendency to hold onto and dwell on things that I have no control over. When giving advice I always say “ya gotta let it go”, but I can’t even take my own advice! That is one thing easier said than done. In the coming weeks and months I am going to make a concerted effort to let go of things in my past. Even if I have to write it all down and then rip it up and throw it away, I will do my best to move on and let go.

Yes, you read that right! Karaoke. It really is a favorite past-time of mine and I’ll tell you why. I have always dreamt (just like every other girl in the world) of being on stage in front of thousands of fans, belting my heart out. So, a tiny stage and fifty cheering, drunk people satisfies this dream. All eyes on me for three minutes, beer in hand, lyrics on the screen…is there anything better?! Oh yeah, making friends with the DJ so you get called up ten times per night

There are so many excuses I have been given or have given myself as to why a relationship won’t work. Many times, instead of just trying it out, going on a date, or simply talking with someone who I wouldn’t deem my “type” I have written people off who could have potentially become, at the very least, a friend. Intentionally or not, I have had my heart closed to so many people and things. When it comes to boys and relationships, my head has always ruled over my heart, and honestly, I am ready for that to change. It is time I listened to that blood-pumping organ, I have a feeling it will lead me to something amazing or even lead me back to a person, place, or thing that I may have overlooked.

This one is really easy for me. Is that cheating? I have never ever had trouble with laughing. I laugh (OK maybe it’s more of a cackle) at basically anything: when someone trips, awkward silences, “that’s what she said” jokes, when I’m really excited, at myself trying to be sexy. It’s something I love about myself and hope I never loose. When I’m 50 years old and laying in bed with my husband, I hope I still get into fits of uncontrollable laughter for no reason at all. They say laughing is the best medicine and I think whoever “they” is, is right.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Shelbie and I met during our freshman year of college in the Development office at the design school of University of Cincinnati. We were starting our first day of work in the Development Office, and became fast friends. Shelbie is one of the hardest working people I know. She’s graduating from college early (debt free) and recently made the brave decision not to follow her predicted path of going off to grad school to become a counselor. Instead, she is taking time to discover her true purpose. When I spoke with her about this last week, I was taken back to where I was just about this time last year, when I had high hopes but little direction with where I wanted to go with my life. After our conversation, I knew she would be a perfect candidate for a design your life interview. Thanks for sharing Shelbie! -Caitlin

This is my number one intention. I feel like there are so many pressures placed on an individual these days that it’s nearly impossible not to start picking yourself apart. It’s so easy to fall into all of the things you’re “not” instead of celebrating the things that you “are”.  So I think that learning to love yourself is the most important thing you can do. It is definitely an ongoing process (and not always an easy one) but in my opinion, worth it. Who else knows just how wonderful you truly are besides you? Be your own number one fan! It’s so important to love who you are inside and out because everyone is special, beautiful, and important.

This is probably my second most driving intention. I’m the kind of person who puts 110% into just about anything (sans cleaning my apartment). If I’m not invested in something, I feel like I don’t have a purpose. When I am truly invested in something, I can really accomplish incredible things. That’s the only explanation I have for holding 2 – 3 jobs, a full course load, and graduating early and debt free from college. If I didn’t bust my booty every day, I’d never know the value in my accomplishments. Hard work builds character, the key is to not over extend or commit oneself!

I absolutely have to have a balance between work and pleasure. I can really get caught up in the jumble of 12 hour work/class days but you’ve got to have a release. Having fun and enjoying the life you’re living is important too. That’s why I started my blog. There is more to life than work and school, and those little things that make life so enjoyable are the things you’ll remember when you’re older. So I love to explore, try new things, and live every minute of my good life!  My number one way to unwind and let loose: football and basketball games – the atmosphere is electric. Go Bearcats!

This is an unspoken and innate intention of mine. I am always (whether I realize it or not) helping or trying to help other people. I love to help my friends with little conflicts in their lives. I love to help people find their purpose. I love to help teach kids to tie their shoes. I love to help my co-workers finish a project.  I will help anyone who asks, and even those who don’t. I get a lot of fulfillment knowing I’ve made a difference or brightened a day by lightening someone’s load.

This is something that I have learned over my college experience. I tend to hold onto everything. Old fights mean things people have done, and especially mistakes I’ve made. If I’d let them, my mistakes would haunt my every waking moment (even if all I did was forget to call my Mom). I’ve learned that for my own sanity I have to consciously make myself let go of the past and things I can’t control. Life is so much more enjoyable when you aren’t holding yourself back or beating yourself up. Once my friends and I wrote on lanterns and let them fly away. Talk about freeing.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Hey guys! It’s Caitlin from Reverie to Reality, and while I normally bring you guys a Design Your Life interview on Wednesdays, we’re changing things up a little this week.

A few days ago I was reflecting on the summer with Jess, and how much has happened since June. A few examples? She and Scott eloped to Paris (!!), and I decided to move to Chicago and started offering interior decorating services. I know. Things have been busy around here.  Jess asked if I would consider sharing my story with you guys about how this new development in my life came about, and I (obviously) agreed without hesitation.

Offering interior decorating services was something I had thought about for a long time, but always had an excuse for why it wouldn’t work. Either I didn’t have the time, the resources, the expertise…you name it. When money stresses would get to me because my part-time job in Cincinnati wasn’t enough to live off of after I paid my bills, my friends and family constantly suggested that I put my passion and talents to good use and start offering decorating services. I would immediately brush off the idea, for fear that I would look silly and fail.

Months later, I received my AT&T bill in the mail and realized that I couldn’t afford to pay it. A couple of hours later, I wrote a post on my blog announcing that I was now offering design services. Just like that. It was an impulsive decision, yet one that I had been wrestling with and contemplating for months. The doubts and concerns I had were all still very present, but the reality of my financial situation took charge and allowed me to stop dwelling on them. That was almost three months ago now, and I haven’t looked back.

I used to think that if you wanted to make a change or take a leap of faith in your life, that you needed to have all the details squared away. What I’ve realized is that the point of taking a leap of faith is that you aren’t sure how it’s going to work, but you move forward anyway. Suddenly, I’m living out a dream that I’ve had for years, and all it took to get there was a blog post and a phone bill.

Reaching out to Carly of A Simple Affair for a Design Your Life Interview this week was a no-brainer. Aside from being one of the sweetest people I’ve ever “met”, she’s also so accomplished and inspiring, yet completely relatable at the same time. She recently got back from touring Japan for 3 weeks with Trinity Irish Dance (I know), manages her amazing lifestyle blog, and looks incredible while doing all of it. Seriously. I’m waiting for her to move to Chicago so she can style me and revamp my closet. I loved reading her intentions this week, and I know you’re going to feel the same. Thanks for sharing Carly! See you all again next week. -Caitlin

I am a worrier. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, and honestly, worrying can get really exhausting.  I want to strive to live more in the present and focus on what is right in front of me.  I need to be the best me and not worry about what I cannot control in the upcoming weeks and months.  I need to actively engage in conversations instead of multitasking 24/7. While at times I pride myself on these multitasking abilities, it’s not fair to my boyfriend, friends and family {note to self: ignore phone past a certain time at night and figure out this time ASAP and act upon it}. 

I am currently in the middle of some major life exploring. Daunting, scary, exciting…just a few adjectives to describe the process.  While I just graduated with one major, I want to pursue a different industry before I never do and wonder, ‘What if?’  Not only do I want to explore a new career, but I am also exploring new cities.  I have always lived in Wisconsin and been extremely close with my family but I am realizing that now is the time to explore something new and make it my own city. Ah!

There a lot of aspects of my life right now that need to be reorganized {and decluttered…that’s a whole different area though but most certainly needs to happen}. I also think I need to sit down and make a list of everything I have going on in my life and figure out what the most important pieces are to my puzzle and what pieces make me the happiest so I can create more of a balance between work and play. If I am having a stressful day, I can come back to this list to refocus and think big picture.

Both mentally and physically. I often think of this one in just the physical sense of eating right and working out.  Both are things I want to get back into a routine with, but I also need to make more ‘me’ time and reflect, whether it be about the day in general or a specific phone call. My days get so busy that I often forget to have a moment with myself, and it is most certainly nothing that gets put on my lengthy to do lists, but maybe it should be? That would take some time to get used to.

You can only be ‘good’ for so long whether it be with eating well or a spending freeze {or so many other things but these are areas I have worked on}. Sometimes you just earn a bowl and/or pint of ice cream or those shoes you’ve been dreaming about that will make you feel extra confident the next time you march around in them.  Or after a long week, all you can think about is a mani/pedi with your mom or best friend.  I think we absolutely deserve little rewards for achieving a personal goal.  We all may have our different ways of indulging, but I firmly believe you should indulge every once in awhile and embrace life’s victories. Well, that’s what I intend to do.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Kiley of Off Randolph

To me, this comes above all. I often find myself saying “I’m too busy” to keep in touch with certain people, only to realize that instead of pressing snooze five times that morning I could have called my cousin who lives in a different state or an old friend. My latest goal has been to make time for those people in my life that I love, but don’t talk to nearly enough, because ultimately those relationships are the most precious things in our short life.

This Fall, instead of heading back down to Nashville, where I’m a student at Vanderbilt, I leave for Italy to study abroad for the semester. This summer has been spent preparing, getting excited, attempting to fit everything I want to pack in one checked bag (whoever made that rule was surely a man), but mostly hearing tips from everyone about how to best take advantage of my time in Europe. The thing that I hear most is “depth over breadth”; instead of racing through every European city I’m dying to see (that would be all of them), I hope to really experience a smaller number of cities, make lasting relationships with people I would not have met otherwise, and go off the beaten path in each place I have the opportunity to spend time.

I may be alone on this one, but I probably spend over an hour every day dreaming—in class, on the bus, while I walk, everywhere. And while I have no idea what my future job will be or what my future home will look like, I think there is a certain importance in dreaming because without the dreams to start out with, there is no hope of them becoming a reality.

The idea of giving back is huge to me—HUGE. Growing up, I was never a sports person or a theater person or an artsy person. I was, however, a huge fan of school and wanted to take classes all year round (weird kid, I know). One summer I took a class called Youth and Society, which exposed me to a different non-profit organization in Chicago each day. Volunteering almost every day that summer was the most satisfying thing I could have done with my time; making others happy is definitely one of the keys to being happy yourself.

In a perfect world, we’d all immediately succeed in whatever we set out to do, but that doesn’t sound like a very interesting world to me. Planning on making mistakes helps me deal with them when they happen and more importantly, learn from them quickly. Knowing that I’ll make more mistakes than I’d probably like to makes it easier to aim higher since I’ve accepted mistakes as something good in life.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: jen of lemon drop love

I have a strong desire to do what I love and what I’m passionate about. However, the pressures of everyday life can often suck the energy right out me. After a long day at work, it is easy for me to put on my comfy clothes and curl up on the couch. But checking out day after day just doesn’t cut it; all it does is hold me back.  In order to stay focused I have to prioritize daily. I carry a notepad where I jot down blog ideas and random thoughts throughout the day. I also recently hung an inspiration board over my desk (I plan to fill it up) to remind me every day that it’s not a dream if you make it happen.

I admit it; I’m my own worst critic. Unfortunately for me, I’m also not perfect. One thing in life I really struggle with is self-guilt.  I feel guilty when I go for seconds, when I skip a workout, or sometimes even when I indulge and buy a new outfit. I’ve recently come to realize that feeling guilty is a choice and I’m focused on staying kind to myself and everyone I care about the most.  Like my Grandmother always says, be the person you want to meet and lead by example.

Life is full of surprises and opportunities and it is better to have tried something rather than regret you never gave it a shot. Sometimes it works out for the better and other times you realize it just isn’t your bag. I try to live my life with no regrets and I plan to continue down this path. Yes, I have made plenty of mistakes, more than I can count on all my fingers and toes, but I have learned from each one. Living a life without regret is about embracing yourself and who you are, but also ceasing the moments you are given and staying true to yourself.

I believe your healthy habits evolve based on where you are currently in life. Being able to listen to your body and give it what it needs is half the battle. Up until about five years ago I had the metabolism of a cheetah and I was very active and athletic; I didn’t have to worry much about what I ate. Today, my metabolism has drastically slowed and I don’t have the time to be as active; so I watch what I eat and make exercising a priority. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my cocktails and comfort foods; I just focus on moderation and balance.  I am sure these habits will change as I go into different chapters of my life, but in order to stay happy and proud in my own skin, I will always try and embrace healthy habits.

I love the process of taking an idea and making it something everyone can see, feel or taste. I get a feeling of overwhelming accomplishment and joy. The best is when I think to myself, “wow, that really worked and it turned out better than I thought it would.” Being creative doesn’t have to be complicated; a lot of it is about finding the joy in the little things around you. I like to fill my creative time with painting/drawing, cooking/mixing drinks, entertaining or redesigning my apartment. This is why I love my blog so much, it pushes me to do all the things I love and the best part is I get to share my experiences with other people.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: jacquelyn of lark&linen

This probably qualifies as my mantra as I full subscribe to the notion that happiness is a choice. Naturally, everyone is going to have bad days, and sometimes you just need to throw in the towel and start fresh the next. But I really do believe that choosing to find that silver lining in an otherwise crappy situation vastly improves your every day life. While I have been known to get irritable when I’m stuck in traffic, or have to cancel plans due to a looming deadline at work, it makes a world of difference when I force myself to change my frame of mind. Blast the music, grab a bite to eat and make the very best of the cards you’re dealt.  In those moments I remind myself that every second that passes is one less in which I’ll have to be happy. Life’s too short to stew!

Much like my decision to choose happiness on the daily, appreciating the little things is equally as important. If you can find joy in a quiet morning and a big cup of tea, or grocery shopping on a Sunday afternoon, your chances of living a fulfilled life improve greatly.

I once read a quote that stated: “The world is a book and those who don’t travel read only one page”. In my opinion, seeing the world is one of the best gifts you could ever give yourself. Of course, not everyone can afford to travel regularly, but I do believe that if it’s an option, it should fall under the “non-negotiable” category. For me it’s one of those life experiences that I just cannot get from anything else. It feeds the mind, the body and the soul in the most satisfying way.

I am a self-proclaimed people pleaser. I am still not terribly good at saying no to others in any given situation but I really am trying. I’m learning rather quickly that balance is incredibly important, and if I’m not able to say no when necessary, I end up burnt out and of no use to anybody. That balance is a tricky thing! I’ll let you know when I’ve figured out the secret

I was raised in a household in which dishonesty was absolutely unacceptable. My mother refused to lie to anyone on my behalf, often telling my school that I simply needed a mental health day in lieu of pretending I was sick. She was always met with a joyful “great, have a wonderful day!” People appreciate honesty and, unfortunately, finding that quality within people these days can sometimes prove to be difficult. It’s incredibly refreshing to connect with real, genuine, honest folk.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: lauren of stylized existence

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now.  Our relationship has not been perfect, but he has loved me unconditionally from day 1.  I can be difficult, moody, a bad communicator, the list goes on; but all the while, he has treated me with love and respect.  I want to marry this man, and the best thing I can do to prepare myself for an eventual marriage is to respect him through communicating well and as fully as possible, laughing with him, supporting him, and loving him unconditionally.

I am really hard on myself and hold others to similar standards.  I correct people, I judge people, and I expect perfection.  I am aware that these are the worst of my personality traits, so I am actively working on them.  Over the last year I have made the intention to be kinder to myself and others.  Judge less, listen more, critique less, accept more.  The earth would be such a horrible place if everyone did everything how I thought it should be done.  People are unique, and that is what makes this world a lovely place.

Two years ago I discovered CrossFit and Clean-Eating, and my life has never been the same.  On Saturday, I embarked on a 30 day journey (the Whole30) to restore my body.  Though my eating habits are already pretty clean, we’ve had pizza and soft-serve a few too many times lately, and it was time to hit the RESET button.  I intend to treat my body as a temple, including doing Bikram Yoga and other self-healing things on my off days from CrossFit, while fueling my body as cleanly as possible.  I am a more balanced, relaxed, and happy person when I treat my body well.

I have a pretty darn good life.  A great boyfriend, a beautiful home, good friends and family, a good job, and growing side-business, the list goes on.  Yet, too often, I tend to focus on the things I don’t have (an engagement ring, Louboutin heels,  10k blog followers).  This is silly and ridiculous.  I know I have a full life, I just have to remind myself of it more often.

I want my wardrobe consulting business to continue to grow, so I want to continue to focus on creative marketing strategies, unique service offerings, and great results for my customers.  I know I have it in me to grow this business, I  just need to push myself more.  I’ll admit that I get a little lazy – with a full-time job, the gym, and lots of cooking – I am tired by the time I sit down in the evening.  But that’s the wrong attitude – that should be “party time” – time to kick it into full gear and work my butt off.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jessica of The State Street Edit

I’m a stereotypical plan-aholic – I like to know exactly what I’ll be doing tomorrow,next week, next year, and in five years! Being spontaneous helps me experience things that aren’t “in the plan.” Those adventures usually end up being the most fun! One day, instead of heading home after grabbing lunch with a friend, I decided to walk around downtown D.C. and see where the streets took me. I ended up exploring the National Portrait Gallery and scored a deal on some adorable shoes that I never would have found had I not been a little spontaneous!

Saying thank you is such a simple and powerful thing. I try to show my gratitude for every small kindness people show me throughout the day – for the baristas at Starbucks, that can be a few times in one morning! By giving thanks I’m able to brighten up someone else’s day and notice all of the little things people do for me, like strangers who hold the elevator door or how my roomie took out the trash again because she knows I hate to. There’s really no faster way to feel appreciative!

I always have to remind myself of this one! In the past, whenever one of my friends had a bad attitude about something or a stranger was being rude, I took it personally and ruined my own experience in the process. Truthfully, as much as someone chatting loudly on their cell in public might bother me, that person’s actions won’t have any effect on my happiness if I don’t want them to. It’s definitely a challenge, but I’ve reduced my stress level tenfold by letting go of what I can’t control about other people’s feelings and actions. Life looks a whole lot sweeter this way!

Lately I’ve been trying to do one thing every week that makes me uncomfortable. Since I’m naturally shy, chatting up a cute guy that lives in my building is usually enough to fill my “totally freaking out” quota for a month! But doing little things that scare you is the best way to grow. When I first joined the staff of my school’s fashion magazine, I was terrified of how I’d measure up to the rest of the super creative and talented people I’d be working with. The first meeting was uncomfortable for sure, but it got easier each week. Next semester I’ll be the editor – that’s a position I never would have stepped up to had I not been gutsy enough to move past my discomfort at that first meeting.

If left to my own devices, I will always wait to do something until the perfect moment arises (and guess what? It never does.) This was especially true when it came to launching my blog – I waited 2+ years to start The State Street Edit because I thought everything needed to be just right if it was going to be successful. But if you wait for the circumstances of your life to be perfect before you do anything, you’ll spend your whole life waiting and coming up with excuses. From now on I’m trying to just jump in – the hiccups along the way only stand to make me better!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

You know this lovely lady as the blogger behind Breakfast at Toast, co-founder and editor of that little website for women that people can’t stop talking about (The Everygirl), and loving mother to Buddy (the rescue pup that is always popping up on your instagram feed). I’m so glad that she carved a little time into her constantly busy schedule to share her intentions with us today, and I know you will be too.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Danielle of Breakfast at Toast and The Everygirl

It has never been a secret that prior to moving to Chicago I was living at my mom’s house in LA because I couldn’t afford an apartment and a car, was in a relationship that wasn’t moving forward, and had grown apart from most of my friends. I was so unhappy. I shared my story here, but long story short, I decided t o start over in Chicago. I woke up in tears for a week or two before the move and was terrified of making such a big change, but it was the best thing I ever did. I have since started a new business (The Everygirl), have made lots of wonderful friends, and I’ve even had time to figure out who I am and what I want out of life.

One night in January 2011, I found myself sitting in Alaina Kaczmarski’s living room with Alaina and Jess (Constable). The concept of The Everygirl was brought up, but it was not until Alaina and I had our first meeting In August 2011 that things started happening. The mission was clear for both of us, but figuring out the design, name, content, and how the site would run wasn’t easy! I have never put so much of myself into anything, but it has been so worth working late nights and weekends. I have met some amazing women, made a new best friend, and am behind a site that is inspiring girls everyday.

I used to spend way too much time working (and I still do), but I have been much better about giving myself some down time. Delegating (to our interns) and asking for help have done wonders for my mental health. And taking time to relax/unwind on the weekends has changed my life. Everyone needs a little down time.

Make what you love a part of your daily life. I enjoy decorating my apartment, photography, and pretty much any aspect of design. If there is something you’re interested in, find a way to make it a part of your life.

Being healthy is very important to me. I’ve tried it all (boxing, yoga, spinning, plain old cardio, rowing, etc.). Seven weeks ago, I started CrossFit and I have never felt better. Having an outlet where I am able to take an hour to do something for me, connect with great people, and feel better about myself is so crucial for my physical and mental health.

Appreciate the small things. It is the little things (puppies, someone saying hello on the street, living in a beautiful city, good friends, etc. that make life worth living. It is so easy to focus on the negative, but as cheesy as this may sound, taking time to look at the kindness and beauty that surrounds you will do wonders for your soul.

First photo by Stoffer Photography. All other photos by Danielle Moss.

Good morning! Caitlin from Reverie to Reality here, reporting as Jess’ summer intern! When Jess asked me if I would be interested in reprising the very loved Design Your Life series here on MML, I responded with a resounding “YES!”. Each Wednesday I’ll be sharing inspiring interviews with people sharing how they are designing their lives around their intentions. We’ll even be including some people who have been interviewed before to see where their intentions have grown or even changed altogether. 

In a world where newer is always better and products are constantly being improved and updated, I try to remember that the simple joys in life are the ones that I’ll remember most. There will always be a new iPhone model or the latest J. Crew Collection, but the thrill of rainbow sprinkles, a fresh cup of coffee, or the first trip to the beach in the summer is eternal.

Nothing makes me happier than connecting with people and being creative through my environment. I intend to use my passion for interiors to create and grow my own business.  I recently started offering decorating services through my blog, and I will to continue to evolve this aspect of my career into a full-time position. 

Over the past few weeks I’ve been sharing my life intentions. For me, this is one of the foundational aspects of designing a life with intention. When people ask me how to live intentionally, I usually go back to this core concept.

There is a good chance if we don’t consciously choose the direction we want our lives to head, life will end up taking us in a different direction. And if we aren’t careful, we can find ourselves climbing a ladder leaning against one building; wishing we had climbed a different ladder on a different building (thanks, Mr. Covey).

Deciding what intentions I want to have for my life is the way I create the lifestyle I want to live. None of my intentions are extremely “big goal” oriented. Each one is focused on my daily habits, actions, and choices.

I leave my “big goal” thinking to my Future Letters.

In case you are interested in the first four intentions, can find them here:

Work in a balanced way

Am in a committed relationship

Listen to and honor my body

Connect to my spirit

Okay, now it’s time to wrap it up with how I’ve designed my life to help other people.

The urge to help other people is pretty self-explanatory. It’s part of the purpose equation and has a big place in my understanding of my own life’s meaning.

I am meant to help people design lives with intention. And this aspect of my principals highlights this aim.

For me to help people daily, I spend my time helping friends with difficult situations when they need it. I also try to help Mr. Lively (perhaps too much, at times). So I’m learning to keep this intention in check in our relationship.

I also of course, spend my time writing daily here on MML! It is the first thing beyond email reading that I usually do for work. I love coming here, hoping to serve.

In addition, I am now consulting and holding our BWI workshops which are immensely rewarding. I feel so “in the zone” when I’m helping people with their businesses. It’s a true blessing and gift I am so incredibly thankful for.

And even Jess LC helps people as well. I love that the prints we design inspire people to be brave. Or that our jewelry can be a part of a wedding for a new bride. What’s more, I love the ability to teach our interns how to run a small business.

So there you have it. People often ask me “how I do what I do” and the honest truth is that I think a lot about what I want my life to be like. And then I design my life around that vision or intention. 

It’s a slow, stumbling process. Sometimes changes take years to really sink in. Sometimes I question everything and go in a new direction. Sometimes I feel lost. But then I listen to my gut and do the best that I can.

It’s not easy, but it’s always worth it.

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