In keeping with the theme of seeds, but in a completely different context, I thought this quote might hit home for those of us who are working on new projects and have yet to see a harvest.

I believe that the intentions we have for our lives are largely unchanging.

They form a “constitution” of sorts about what we believe and want for our lives. Though they may certainly evolve over time, like our country’s constitution, it is not often that we choose to amend them.

A well formed intention is created from a place of deep consideration for our deepest hopes, values, and life vision. It is something that we can re-commit ourselves to every morning.

Even if we may have faltered the day before.

It allows for changes in circumstance, and does not include metrics or “goals.”

An intention that will stand the test of time allows our life situation to change, yet remain steadfast.

It is a compass for navigating new waters.

With intentions in our hearts, we are then able to design our actions and habits to support these intentions in a variety of ways. 

Though my intention to listen to my gut, or intuition, when it comes to my physical well-being remains constant, how I design my life around this intention changes all the time.

I’ve fired my ego from controlling my eating, I’ve eaten one banana a week, I’ve ran every other day to help ease the discomfort of an incorrect prescription, and right now I’ve returned back to doing yoga once a week.

I’m curious to see how I evolve with this intention in mind in the future as well.

How I fulfill this intention when I’m an expecting mother may be different than how I do it now, or even after I have children.

I used to think that once I created a habit to support my intention, I had to keep doing it for a really long time.

If I started going to yoga, I wanted to keep going for years. If I ate one banana a week for a little while, I wanted to keep doing it for the foreseeable future.

Now, however, I’ve learned to lessen that grip on the habits and let them flow more naturally.

My habits don’t need to remain locked in place forever. They can grow and change as long as they are still serving the greater plan – the overall intention – for that area of my life.

As long as a habit is fueling my well-being and ultimate intention, I can keep going in that direction as long as I like. And if I later feel pulled in a new direction with a different habit, that’s fine, too.

I don’t need to be so concerned with the habits being consistent as I do about being focused on the intention that I bring to that moment.

In this season I might be into yoga, and next season I might be into running half marathons.

What I “do” isn’t as important as how I come to that moment to fulfill my guiding intention.

There is much to be said for dedication and commitment to habits.

But if we find ourselves stuck in tradition for the sake of familiarity and comfort, the intention can become lost and our desires may dim.

We may find ourselves simply floating through life, rather than staying alert to our guiding intentions or intuition. Our souls may be craving something new and different, but we may resist change in order to maintain the status quo.

A well formed intention won’t keep us stuck. It will help us change and grow into our full potential. 

Today, I think this is the perfect quote to keep in mind.

Simple, but true.

The more that I consult for business owners and watch the blogging world grow and evolve, I am struck by a process that I call “knocking on doors.”

Often, when we launch a new business or website, we place a lot of importance on the immediate actions and the success we yearn to have rightnow.

Not “right now,” but rightnow.

Which is totally understandable. When we do something new, it often involves an element of risk that can be scary. We are putting ourselves out there and daring to grow in new ways.

So we really want to see our actions pay off rightthissecond. 

However, looking from a higher vantage point, at the blogging community and small business landscape as a whole, it becomes easy to see that most of us don’t necessarily find our purpose behind the first door we knock on.

Instead, we often knock on a several doors, try a few different approaches within our industry, and (frequently) have lackluster results.

We begin to feel frustrated by our lack of success with our initial attempts. We might even start to doubt - just a little bit – whether we are meant to take this path after all.

It’s scary. We put their faith – and internal pressure – on the first door or two we knock on. We expect one to open and take us to the glory that we seek (sustainable income, full-time employment, front row seats at New York Fashion Week).  And when things don’t pan out as planned, options feel limited.

Then, quite frequently, someone else in our industry knocks on a new, different door we haven’t noticed before. This brand new door flys open for that person and incredible things happen for them.

At first, we might feel a bit frustrated and guarded about their success. It stings to know that it didn’t happen to us first.

However, once we overcome that initial pang of envy, we often rush to knock on the same door, hoping to have the same amazing results.

For some people, that new door is the right fit, too. Great things being to happen and they feel “on their way.”

But for most, knocking on that same door that worked for others is not the answer.

In fact, it can actually cloud our judgement about door selection overall. We can become so fixated on the success of our peer that we lose sight of what is the right door for ourselves.

Eventually, we become tired of knocking on that other door and never getting a response.

So we slowly wander away. We either give up at this point or we start tapping, hesitantly at first, on other doors.

We stop paying so much attention to the doors that are opening for others and focus on our own door preferences. We start to feel drawn, internally, to the doors that fit our own personality and lifestyle.

This is when the magic happens.

Most often, it is this next wave of door knocking that leads to the success that we sought all along. 

Often, the doors that do open for us look quite different than the first doors we were drawn to at the start.

We now realize those initial doors weren’t the right fit all along.

It was only through the process of knocking on the wrong doors that we began to understand which ones are right for us.

So if you find yourself knocking on doors and haven’t gotten an answer just yet, don’t worry.

If you keep going, listen to your gut, and go with what feels most natural, you are likely to find a door made just for you.

Today I want to share a few favorite videos as a new take on the term “power hour” (far from traditional college pre-game game).

This power hour consists of inspiring videos that would take roughly sixty minutes to watch (I think the actual total is about 50-ish minutes).

The first video is a favorite that really resonated with me several months ago. In fact, I became familiar with the term “shiny penny” from Mastin’s insights with Marie.

This next one (shared by Laura) is a new classic , particularly in the career and small business realm.

And last but not least, this short clip sent to me by Mr. Lively makes a great point about small business.

Enjoy!

Contemplating major behavioral change or seeking the next steps in some area of your life?

This single question is remarkably insightful and practical.

This week I have been hustling with my regular workload while preparing for the San Francisco Life and Business with Intention workshops this weekend.

Since today is the last day I have to get everything settled until next Tuesday, I have quite a lot to jam into the few hours before and after my client sessions this afternoon.

Which means I’m taking Mr. Job’s advice and focusing on the top priorities and keeping things simple.

I think today is a good day to spend a little time remembering the wise words of two iconic ladies who are no longer with us.

Little known fact about me: this quote by Mr. Thoreau was my senior high school quote in the yearbook.

Enjoy!

I heard this quote today and it struck me as the perfect Monday morning mantra.

May something good happen to you this week!

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about motivation as it relates to intentions in our lives.

The book Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins has introduced me to a very interesting concept regarding motive, paradigms, and power. Though I am skeptical of many of the scientific elements he brings to the table, I have been fascinated by the spiritual ideas.

In the book, Mr. Hawkins suggests that the way we view and interact with the world relates to a specific level of consciousness. He believes we often stay within the same consciousness level most of our lives, but I personally believe that we may jump between these levels depending on our mood, experiences, and spiritual growth.

Mr. Hawkins describes the following levels.

The levels in coral depict those which use power. Operating from one of these levels creates an effortless pull of good things, situations, and opportunities to you.

Meanwhile, the levels in gray demonstrate the levels of force, according to Mr. Hawkins. Force levels require you to go out there and ‘take’ the good things, situations, and opportunities that you’d like.

It all boils down to a “push” vs. “pull” way of living and being.

At first glance, this may either seem amazing or a little too woo-woo.

Regardless of the concept’s abstract nature, I’ve found some tangible, “spiritually practical” ways to implement these ideas with great results in my own life.

Lately, whenever I’m faced with a difficult personal conflict, business decision, or other mental quandary, I now try to determine which level I’m currently operating from.

Chances are, if I’m having a conflict, I’m looking at the circumstances from a gray, forceful level. Coming up with a solution for the problem on the same, or nearby gray level, will still leave me frustrated and at a standstill.

However, when I pause and ask myself:

“At what level would I need to look at this situation in order to find peace and a new solution?”

… A new way of being, thinking, and feeling emerges.

Is it always easy to remove the emotions tying me to the gray level I was previously operating in?

Honestly, no.

[Intermission....]

In fact, funny story… I just had “a situation” occur in the middle of writing this post.

Yep, about one minute ago I spilled my coffee out of the blue onto my new MacBook Pro (which means I’m now typing this portion of the post on Mr. Lively’s super old laptop).

I easily could have felt angry about the unforeseen setback, guilty about my clumsiness, and afraid that it might do some real damage.

But thanks to writing this post, I immediately was reminded of the power levels. Heck, I just needed to look at my screen rather than the coffee puddles to find that I needed to rise to the level of acceptance in order to find the peace about the situation.

I can accept that I will spend the rest of the day doing work from this different computer and be thankful that I have a computer to work on at all. I can also accept that I will find out if any serious damage has been done when Mr. Lively gets home to investigate.

So there you go. Though the idea of consciousness levels might be a bit “out there” for some, but it can really be useful.

Especially if you spill coffee on your laptop.

Today I realized the best thing I can do to serve you is share a feisty piece I wrote in 2011. I promise, it’s worth reading (or re-reading)…

Pardon me, but I’m a little fired up today. While standing in line at the CVS to pick up some contact solution yesterday afternoon, I glanced at the cover of one of the weekly magazines and saw a feature on how “Ali from The Bachelor lost 10 pounds as revenge”… or something like that. Regardless of why she was losing weight as revenge (which is a pretty strange notion to begin with) or what she actually did to achieve the weight loss, I found myself with ruffled feathers.

I know that on another day, in the not-so-distant past, I would have stood there and wondered what she did to lose the weight, wondered how she might be happier now (I mean look, she got a cover feature), and speculated about whether I should try her methods to lose weight myself. But something inside me has shifted (at least for the moment). Ever since the trip to NYC and realizing my intention to pursue PR for Jess LC, my paradigm has changed. Rather than look to others successes for guidance in my life, I’ve become much more interested in my own actions and using those to propel myself further. I’ve become more interested in how I want to become successful than how others have reached their own successes.

Though I think there is a lot to be said about bibliographies, success stories, advice, and research, I also feel many of us are getting too comfortable sitting on the sidelines reading and watching other people achieve their dreams — and then attempting to replicate their achievements in our own lives.

The problem with this copycat method, I believe, is that it leaves us with a second-rate version of what worked for someone else, which doesn’t take into complete consideration all of our own unique factors. And therefore, whatever plan we follow, is innately going to clash with our individual abilities, motivations, and values – which ultimately leads to dissatisfying results, unmaintainable goals, or a simple lack of follow through on our part. Our actions need to speak to us on all levels, spiritually, physically, and mentally, and it’s very hard to really grasp that in a cookie cutter plan or a shadowed routine.

The one major concession I make in the above paragraph is when a particular plan does meet your individual spiritual, physical, and mental values – then the plan could quite possibly work with flying colors. Take my brother, for example. He has been preparing to follow the P90X routine this summer for almost a full year. He researched, thought about it, planned his meals, and devoted the hours he needed in order to reach his goal. He became so intrinsically motivated by the plan and the outcome that he faithfully executed each exercise and nutrition requirement to its fullest. He also reaped the rewards he desired in the process. On the other hand, I tried the Weight Watchers program for several months but finally realized I wasn’t seeing results because I wasn’t dealing with the right spiritual issue.

I maintain that many most of our failed attempts come from the fact that we are trying to fit ourselves into a prescribed routine that isn’t capturing our real desires. Or, we are fearful of failure and rush to find comfort in something that has worked for someone else. This constant focus on the information itself keeps us so busy listening to others that we are unable to actually devote the full amount of energy and attention that it takes to reach our goals.

I think this is because we underestimate how much time and devotion it requires to take action, follow through, and maintain progress. We think that if we “know” everything, we will be able to “do” everything. But the real knowledge comes from personal experience, until then, it’s just information in our brains. To follow with the magazine story example, we don’t really know how to lose weight until we actually drop the pounds. Until then we “have the weight loss information” without any experience to back it up.

So, back to my ruffled feathers, I am finding that for the first time I feel bold, less fearful of failure, and more focused on what I’m going to do next. I’m writing my success story each day that I take new actions and try new things. Not all of the things I try will lead to the success I am looking for, but each step ahead is one further away from where I started. It is a constant process that takes into consideration my personal values and goals. My path will be one-of-a-kind and unrepeatable because I am following my gut and trusting things to fall into place. I am following my purpose which is unique to me. Everyone is capable of doing this exact same thing for themselves, they just need to start tapping into what they know and stop looking around at the people next to them.

My Challenge to You

I challenge those who find themselves easily caught in the research and advice trap to take a minute this afternoon and write your own success story. Write out a future magazine feature story detailing how you are successful in three months, six months, or two years from now at the thing you are working towards.

For example, if you want to create a full-time business but are in a desk job, write the story explaining how you made your business so profitable you were able to quit your job after nine months. Explain what actions you took, what marketing efforts you made, what hiring decisions you struggled with. Write it all out and then use that as your own road map to success. Because when you stop and think about it, the story you just wrote captures your spiritual, psychical, and mental abilities and values. Your plan understands you perfectly and you resonate with it 100%.

In summary, stop reading someone else’s success story and start writing your own.

PS - Business in the City Chicago is coming up this Wednesday. I hope to see you there!

… Just a little thought from today’s WIKW email.

Enjoy!

I’ll be honest, though I read passages or a few pages of A Course in Miracles every morning, I’m not often stopped in my tracks.

But today was different.

This passage on page 341 rings so true and full of helpful, tangible potential.

In any situation in which you find yourself uncertain, the first thing to consider, very simply, is “What do I want to come of this? What is it for?” The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning, for it is this which will determine the outcome. In the ego’s procedure this is reversed. The situation becomes the determiner of the outcome, which can be anything. The reason for this disorganized approach is evident. The ego does not know what it wants to come of the situation. It is aware of what it does not want, but only that. It as no positive goal at all.

Without a clear-cut, positive goal, set at the outset, the situation just seems to happen, and makes no sense until it has already happened. Then you look back at it, and try to piece together what it must have meant. And you will be wrong. Not only is your judgement in the past, but you have no idea what should happen. No goal was set with which to bring the means in line. And now the only judgement left to make is whether or not the ego likes it; is it acceptable, or does it call for vengeance? The absence of a criterion for outcome, set in advance, makes understanding doubtful and evaluation impossible.

The value of deciding in advance what you want to happen is simply that you will perceive the situation as a means to make it happen. You will therefore make every effort to overlook what interferes with the accomplishment of your objective,  and concentrate on everything that helps you meet it. It is quite noticeable that this approach has brought you closer to the Holy Spirit’s [your intuition's] sorting out of truth and falsity. The true becomes what can be used to meet the goal. The false becomes the useless from this point of view. The situation now has meaning, but only because the goal has made it meaningful.

- A Course in Miracles

What a glorious way to bring intention to every situation.

Today’s quote is coming from the Seven Habits Book Club reading in Habit #2 of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

This is something I talk extensively about with both my life and business clients. I deeply believe that this one concept can dramatically impact the level of joy and fulfillment in our lives.

It does not always mean that the jungles we find ourselves in are safe or easy.

But when chosen correctly, from our gut, the jungle we find ourselves in will challenge us to hone our skills. The jungle allows us to fulfill our unique potential.

This month in my Living Well column for The Everygirl I have shared lessons learned from leaving negative situations.

Though every situation is different, I hope that my experiences may prove helpful for others in difficult circumstances.

You can read the post right here.

image from, by

For those who find themselves in an unpleasant situation at work, in relationships, or elsewhere in life, I have one loving request:

Please don’t waste this moment. 

I know it can be difficult (or downright impossible) to be in a situation that doesn’t feel great. One that doesn’t allow us to reach our full potential or tap into our talents.

But that is not an invitation for us to retract and give less than our best. To ignore what we can give and can share with others.

In the long term we all have the ability to create the lives we want. The short term is where motivation can often be most challenging when faced with difficult circumstances.

Being in a less-than-ideal situation for the next week, month, or year makes it tempting to simply retract and purposefully hold back our most sincere efforts.

But the truth is: withholding our talents, energy, and love does us the most harm.

Though the people around us are sure to be affected by our lack of effort, we feel the most pain.

We feel pain when we see ourselves mentally check out when things don’t go our way. We feel pain when we don’t choose to react in a proactive manner. We feel pain when we put in less of ourselves into our present reality.

Though the pain may not be palpable all the time, it builds and lingers.

Doubts begin to creep in.

Our self-confidence begins to erode.

Because deep down we know we are capable of great things. Even in difficult circumstances. 

We know we can rise above the present challenge and produce better results or serve more truly.

As we consciously avoid putting forth our full effort we lose our joy and peace.

We begin to see that we are living a less-full life based on an external circumstances, rather than our internal compass.

So please, take the difficulty of the present moment and give it your most powerful and love-filled effort.

Rise above - for yourself as much as for others.

Today I’m over on The Everygirl sharing ways to stop future tripping and escape the “I’ll be happy when…” trap.

Hop over here to read the column.

 Photo via

The Book Club registration is now closed.

Please note: On January 15th I made changes to the pricing structure of the club. Instead of a fixed cost, all proceeds of any amount will be donated from this book club to Charity: Water, bringing water to people in developing nations.

Please feel free to donate as much or as little as you like. Once a donation has been made you will be included in the club.And if you prefer not to donate anything, you may email me at jess(at)with-intention.com to join.

For the past four years I’ve shared countless times here on the blog about the impact that one particular book has made on my life and intentional journey. I have re-read the book almost a dozen times in the past seven years and I attribute much of my personal and professional growth to the wisdom within this dog-eared paperback.

Likewise, when people reach out and ask for help with their life or business I endlessly recommend they study this book written by the lovely Mr. Covey (who sadly passed last year).

This book, as many of you already know, is the incomparable The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

And for the first time ever I ask you to join me in reading The Seven Habits in an online book club this February!

From February 4th through May 3rd I’ll be posting weekly prompts, encouraging discussion topics, hosting tea time, and sharing tips to help make these habits a part of our daily lives.

In addition to my guidance, book club members are encouraged to post and share how they are implementing these habits. I’m looking forward to the suggestions and stories members share which may help us all become even more effective in our careers and personal lives.

To respect members’ privacy and discussion, the book club will live in a private (secret) Facebook group.*

My hope is that this book club can spark thoughtful conversation and inspire action. Members may contribute to the discussions as frequently or infrequently as they like. And it is totally fine if people choose to follow the prompts and discussions silently.

Interested? Here’s a bit more detail about the book club.

The With Intention Seven Habits Book Club

Book Club Includes:

• Weekly prompts to spark discussion and habit application.
• Open posting and group chat for members to share stories, suggestions, and reactions.
• Weekly 30 minute “tea time” where I chat live and answer questions.
• Additional links, quotes, and challenges that relate to the book content and habits.
• Plus, a few other surprises along the way.

When: February 4th – May 3rd, 2013

Where: In a private Facebook group (you will be invited after you sign up)

New! Donation: Proceeds from this service will be donated to Charity: Water, bringing water to people in developing nations. You can donate as much or as little as you like (via the button below which will take you to PayPal). If you prefer not to donate anything, you may email me at jess(at)with-intention.com to join.

I’m so excited to connect with readers and clients in this new format! While I love helping people one-on-one and in live settings, this new online format allows me to work with people all over the world. Plus, I can’t wait to see what I learn from members through their insights on this beloved book.

So if you have been meaning to read The Seven Habits and keep putting it off, or if you love the book and want to chat with other intentionally minded people about the habits, now is your chance!

Let’s read together, shall we?

* Initially the Facebook group will be “closed” in order to add participants to the club. Once registration closes on February 3rd, the group status will be changed to “secret” for privacy. 

This morning I had The Today Show playing on TV while I got ready for the day. I usually have it playing in the background as I make assemble Mr. Lively’s breakfast and lunch and try to keep an eye on Franklin (he loves absconding with our shoes which is the cutest [and annoying] thing ever).

While I was in the kitchen I heard a random lead in to an upcoming segment talking about a man’s weight loss.

“Coming up, a man who lost 140 pounds shares his weight loss secrets.”

For whatever reason, a part of my mind just kinda snapped. I got all feisty.

I’m sick of people/tv shows/magazines pitching us the “secrets” to things.

Because you know what? There is no secret. 

We all know this. We all can guess, by logic, science, and personal experience that the man probably moved more and/or ate less calories. Sure, there are a lot of trends in nutrition that might try to break that equation. But more often than not, a calorie is a calorie. How we can move more and/or eat less can take a million different forms. But that simple principal still remains constant barring serious body or chemical imbalances.

In other areas of our lives we also get bombarded with the “secrets” to wealth, business, relationships, you name it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the hype. Deep down, intuitively, we can all infer what leads to success.

Unlike our ego’s vain hopes that we can find short cuts, principals remain true.

• Eating until satisfied (not stuffed) and moving our bodies regularly. – Weight Loss
• Creating unique products that genuinely improve people’s lives. – Business Growth
• Saving, spending, and investing money within our means. – Wealth
• Being a more loving, kind, and accepting significant other. – Relationships

Though we can manifest principals in a myriad of ways, there are no real secrets or short cuts.

We know this, yet we are fed “short cut advertising” like this all the time.

I really hope that we see less of this low-level, flashy messaging over time.

We are smarter than that.

Please note: I commend the man in the segment himself very much! What he did was commendable and full of hard work. Not a “secret” like the show presented it in the promo. The issue I have is that they pitched his story as “sharing secrets” rather than talking about dedication and hard work.

When it comes to our thought life, there are times when negativity begins to cast an ugly shadow on our life. Though we may always experience a little negativity in our mind from time to time, there is another more intense experience that I coined “smurgging” in college.

Smurgging happens when specific negative thoughts repeat themselves over and over in our minds. As the thought reoccurs, the neural pathways in the brain become stronger. A tiny negative thought that repeats itself on a loop builds a stronger (negative) thought muscle. And as this negative thought repeats and strengthens, the thought passes through our mind faster and more frequently.

Literally, negative thoughts can become habitual thoughts over time.

Often, once smurgging takes root in one area of our life, it grows to criticize other areas too. So if smurgging first starts out as an attack against our body (Why can’t I just get into shape already? I have no self-control.), it may also start latching onto our careers or relationships (When am I going to find a job that I love? Why can’t I keep a boyfriend?).

As smurgging spreads it can cast an ugly shadow on almost any area of your life that your ego thinks is “not good enough.”

Fortunately, there is are ways to deescalate a smurgging pattern.

One option is to create an ego “Top 10 List.” Just like pop radio, our ego’s have a hit list. There are usually 5-10 (sometimes more) topics that loop continuously during a smurgging binge. Take some time to write down your ego’s favorite smurgging topics.

By reflecting on smurgging and identifying the topics that are merely ego projections, you can start to disengage from the belief that those thoughts are true… or that they are actually your own intuitive beliefs at all.

These thoughts are not “real” nor are they coming from your intuition. You need to start seeing them as simply false or distorted quotes that play in your head. Nothing more.

It might help to imagine a day where you had a particularly rough time with smurgging. Retrace your steps and observe which thoughts were critical and unnecessarily harsh. Chances are, those overtly mean thoughts are not actually “true” but just an outcome of strong smurgging neural pathways.

Next, visualize your daily routine and identify the places, people, or routines that trigger smurrging on a regular basis.

Like my life client, Julie*, you might find that your workday is rampant with smurgging. To help Julie address her work-centered smurgging, I suggested she listen to positive books** on the subjects her ego likes to smurg about during her commute. By replacing the time to and from work with positive, useful messages she’ll start to interrupt her ego’s smurgging time more and more.

Less time for the ego to smurg means weaker negative neural pathways. 

Over time, by identifying smurgging as it’s happening and realizing that it’s not really “You” thinking those thoughts, you can start to take your ego’s rants a little less seriously.

And ultimately, but replacing those nagging fears with with loving, true thoughts you can begin to tip the scales back towards a more loving and positive thought life.

It’s not easy to rewire your brain, but it’s certainly worth it for peace of mind.

Amen and namaste.

* I changed her name for privacy. 

** My recommendations? Women, Food, and God, and The Pursuit of Perfect.

*** Franklin has nothing to do with this post, just thought I’d add a little puppy to your Tuesday morning.

Good morning! To kick off the week I’d like to share a quote by Mastin that stuck with me this weekend.

Wise words, Mr. Kipp.

PS – I (and by “I” I mean Mr. Lively) upgraded the comment section to better serve you. Now we can respond directly to specific comments. See you there!

For the past month I have been doing a lot of introspection and reflection on intention, goals, and “resolutions” (which I’m not quite fond of, as mentioned in my recent Everygirl column, Ditching Tradtional New Years Resolutions).

And my conclusion has been that in the world we live in, especially around New Years, there is a lot of focus on penny collecting.

When it comes to setting goals, creating visions, and generally becoming more awesome, we often meditate on the shiny pennies of the world.

I should know, I’ve been a penny collector myself.

The truth is that penny collecting has also been a significant part of my intentional path for the past seven years as well.

In my past Future Letters I included my goal weight and income. I discussed possessions I’d like to acquire, features I’d like to land, and vacations I’d like to take.

Which is not “bad.” Those things are all well and good. But the problem came when I then allowed those elements of my life to direct my actions, internal motivations, and self-assessment.

And really, this flawed focus is not completely my fault. So often the messages we hear coummunicate, “the more pennies I have, the happier I will be.”

A shinier body, home, wardrobe, career, bank account, vacation, hair style, wedding, relationship, circle of friends, yoga routine, car, client roster, meditation practice, or manicure will make me justalittlebit closer to my “full potential.”

But by driving my business and life by these external goals, I allowed peace and joy to take the back seat.

By valuing pennies over the present moment and being of service, I felt a lingering sense of lack in almost all areas of my life.

After all, I was being motivated to succeed in order to “achieve” the things that I didn’t have yet. So that’s where my mind dwelt, in the Land of Not-Quite-There-Yet.

However, 2012 was a fascinating year for me. I actually acquired almost all of my penny goals. 

I had a banner year in income. I was within two pounds of my goal weight – without dieting or “trying.” I had a fairytale wedding in Paris. I got the cutest little Westie puppy that I’ve ever seen. I got a whole new wardrobe. I got to transition from a career to pre-retirement doing my purpose.

Yet the power of a little pill was able to render all that shiny-ness useless. I was more miserable in the past three months than in almost any other time in my intentional journey.

It was an eye-opening experience to see how little external reality could affect my internal state of well-being firsthand on such an extreme scale.

So going into 2013 I want to dramatically shift away from the penny focus to that of true wealth. Peace, joy, and service now grace my Future Letter more prominently than pennies.

Rather than track my income as an indicator of my career success, I am tracking the number of people I serve each day. No longer is a dollar figure going to influence my career and emotional state day-to-day.

Sure, I still have significant financial obligations, but now my metric of true success is the number of people I help each day in workshops, consulting, on the blog, and in life.

Though I realize that even measuring the number of people I help each day is essentially another masked form of penny collecting, I know that step by step, I need to train myself not to overvalue outward fame, income, or honors.

Already with this focus on service the past few days I’ve felt internally rich. I’m not forcing anything. I’m not seeking.

While I’m sure new pennies will come my way in their own due time, my focus is on service and connection.

I’ve never felt so light, free, and complete…

Which is really what I’ve been seeking all along.

Happy New Year!

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good feeling about 2013. 

Yesterday I mentioned that I would be writing my Future Letter to myself today. And true to my word, I just finished it. This year unlike the last seven years I subtracted the quantitative metrics, shiny objects, and overarching goals that laced past Future Letters.

I wrote my letter with as much intuition and spirit as possible.

And for the first time ever, I’d like to share my Future Letter here with you. In the past I’ve felt self-conscious sharing letters in their entirety… perhaps that’s a good indication that my past letters may have had a bit more egoic detail in them than I felt comfortable sharing.

But this time I’m feeling light. Free. This letter is one that resonates with what is truly most important to me. And though I am not promising that I will fulfill my letter’s description all the time, it is what I would like to cultivate in 2013.

Dear Jess,

When I see myself walk into the coffee shop in 2014 I see a woman who is glowing from the inside. I am outwardly beautiful, but even more radiant within. I am at a state of peace, joy, and service most of the time.

Though it was not easy to keep this Acceptance perspective every day, I did not waiver in my dedication to rising above fear, lack, doubt, and worry. Rather than feel egoic and as if I could solve my own or other’s future problems, I lived in the moment and was a Student Servant in life.

I chose to gravitate towards those things that had high frequencies of peace, joy, and presence. This included the things I read, watched, consumed, and purchased. I found that I enjoyed and deserved to live at this high vibrational level and recognized my ability to stay humble at the same time.

I changed my metrics of success from outward fame, money, or “stuff” towards service. I tracked diligently the times that I helped people and worked from that point of view in all that I did, especially in my vocation.

Though I had challenges along the way, I always returned to this ultimate intention and found my center again. I connected with my spirit daily, as much as possible.

I lived a highly grateful life because I recognized that which I will always have control over, my intention and helping others who I have the ability to help. I didn’t stay focused on metrics in my personal life, but I did stay connected to how I felt and thought each day and that helped me keep tabs on how well I was connecting to service in that area of my life.

I reconnected with friends new and old in new levels this year. I loved getting to know people of all walks of life, those that are influential and those that are not. I didn’t let ego get in the way of meeting, connecting, and reflecting their own perfection and connection to myself and the Universe.

I also stayed in a student mindset. I chose to read daily as often as possible. I didn’t beat myself up when it didn’t happen, but I did try to read, even just a little, each day. I loved getting to connect to new ideas, ways to help, and live this spirit-connected life.

I rose above the shiny pennies of the world to be in, but not of the physical world. This did not mean that I didn’t have awesome outfits, possessions and a beautiful home. But it does mean I did not covet it and mistake the beauty of things as a source of true joy.

I really learned what it is to connect and love my immediate family. I learned what Scott always talks about when he mentions he loves me in the verb sense. I woke up looking forward to helping him in his life. And I recognized how I can serve and give Franklin the best life possible, while still maintaining my own well-being and service as well.

I found a way to work with Franklin during the day that we both enjoyed. I was patient when he was young towards his barking, biting, chewing, and general puppy-ness. And as he grew and matured I granted him more privilege and freedom to be on his own.

More than anything this year I valued how I felt and contributed. I sought that “Airplane feeling” as much as possible. I stayed present, read, reflected, and prayed to help myself experience that bliss.

I also continued to run, lift, and do yoga for my mind more than my body. I recognized the role that movement played in my wellbeing and connection to the Universe.

I also paid more attention to the foods I consumed and recognized what had value and what did not. I also honored my gut and ate until satisfied. When it came to drinking, I was in, but not of it. I recognized it’s ability to serve and eventually detract from my life and I became better about listening to my intuition in this area. The result was that I did drink when I felt like it, but not to the point where it dulled my enjoyment in the moment or the next day.

I also traveled the world and helped others through the workshops that I held for life and business With Intention. I reached out and truly connected with the people I met and had a great relationship with Clara helping each other grow personally and professionally.

On the blog I truly connected to my dedication to service and made time to truly connect and share high quality content. When needed, I sacrificed quantity for quality of posts. I didn’t hold myself to a truly daily posting schedule if it did not serve that high quality intention that I had. I also allowed myself to tell my story and did not fear feedback but took it for what it was.

I also healed my relationship with my dear friend. It was not easy, but in general I realized how great it was to take a sincerely apologetic stance in disagreements. I don’t have to rationalize or defend my behavior, I can just apologize sincerely and reach out for that Universal connection to be made. I worked this into my relationship with my family, friends, and Scott as well.

In general, I dedicated my life to helping people first and foremost. In addition to helping myself to stay connected to that higher, Universal perspective. The results of which, I left to God with open hands. I believed that good things would follow… and I was right.

With love, 

Jess

Now that I’ve shared my Future Letter with you, I hope you consider writing your own for yourself! Please take my letter above as a way to connect better with me, but not influence what your letter should include. Go with your gut, write out what you really, truly want, and see what happens in the year to come!

First of all, I have to thank each and every one of you who shared your stories and support about my recent experience with the negative reaction to a birth control prescription.

I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who has gone through such a difficult time. At the same time I’m deeply saddened that others had to go through the same horrific phase of being out of control of our reactions and emotions. It’s truly a scary and frustrating place to find oneself.

However, I’m happy to report that being on my old prescription already has helped me quite a bit! Yesterday I felt a sense of calm and happiness that I have been missing for a several months. Though I’m still remaining cautious about any “full recovery” back to my normal self, Mr. Lively mentioned yesterday he already feels like I’m back in action.

Which is a good thing, because it’s time to reflect on my 2012 Future Letter and draft my 2013 Future Letter!

For those of you who haven’t followed me year to year, since 2006 I have been drafting Future Letters to myself as a way of creating a vision of what I’d like my year to be filled with – written in past-tense as if I’ve already accomplished my intentions.

I usually start of by writing, “As I see myself walk into this coffee shop in 2013… I see a woman who has done x… learned y… accomplished z… and so forth.”

I take time during the weeks leading up to my letter in December to decide what things I’d like to attempt in the following year and put it all on paper during my Future Letter writing ceremony (and by “ceremony” I mean I’m at a coffee shop typing on my laptop with a warm drink).

This tradition began when I was a college junior coming out of a massive quarter-life crisis which led me to my purpose. At the time, I did not believe that I could accomplish much at all, as I was just getting out of a serious low self-esteem semester. But nevertheless, I wrote my letter from my heart, inking out what I really, really wanted to be and do in the following year.

Though I didn’t re-read or focus too much on the letter itself throughout the following year, I was brought to tears later that year when I re-read the letter and realized how much of what I penned came true. At the time I wrote the letter I didn’t think I could accomplish a fraction of what I laid out, but I ended up manifesting 80% of what I wrote that year.

Since that pivotal moment, I have recognized the power of creating a vision and getting it down on paper. And I’ve written a Future Letter ever since. In fact, this exercise is so powerful, it is also a part of the Life with Intention workshops.

This morning I counted the statements that came true and those that did not come true in my 2012 Future Letter. Again, 56 out of 69 statements came true! That means again I’m batting 81% in my Future Letter predictions and aspirations. 

Most of the 13 statements that did not come true had to do with Jess LC, as I did not have a clue when I wrote the letter that I would end up ending the company this year.

This year in particular I realize how much of what happened over the past 12 months was not even on my radar. I had no idea I would elope to Paris, get a puppy, close Jess LC, and launch With Intention. None of that was mentioned in the letter, let alone idea for the Business with Intention workshops we did this year.

I really had no clue what was in store. And while I experienced a lot of stress, frustration, and birth-control induced anxiety/anger/mood swings, I look back on the year now with fondness. It was not an easy year. But that does not mean that it was not filled with love, growth, and humor.

I choose to take those rosy memories with me into 2013.

So while I draft my 2013 letter tomorrow I encourage you to write one as well! Last year someone who wrote a Future Letter mentioned there is a site called futureme.org where you can have your letters emailed to you on certain dates in the future, in case you’d like to review your letter at different points in 2013.

Here’s to a new year and a new Future Letter!

photo of our lock in Paris taken by Off Randolph

Wise words from a wise lady.

Since pretiring, I’ve been shifting the way that I approach my life and the things I do during the day to help people (and pay the bills).

It all started with an interview I watched with Mastin Kipp where he explains why he changed the way he approaches new opportunities and his efforts to attain them.

In the interview Mastin mentions that he stopped trying to force things and just let good things come to him. As he continued to be of service, the things he would have otherwise chased came naturally.

I was immediately drawn to this idea that I could attract, rather than push, good things my way. Not in a strictly woo-woo sense, but in a calm, centered, and fear-less approach.

So much of my career with Jess LC was focused on the push method: push to make new products all the time, push to get in front of magazine editors, push to market online via blog ads, and push to get into more and more stores.

And those things did accomplish quite a bit. But when it came to my purpose and pretirement, I didn’t want to have that same constant ego-effort mentality. Because often the push-push-push approach is guided by fear of not having enough or being enough.

Going forward, I simply wanted to get up everyday and do what excites me, feels right, and serves others. 

So far I’m a month into this new way of thinking and aside from a steep learning curve as I add new business services (more on that next week), I have been remarkably peaceful and several amazing opportunities have come my way.

By “come my way” I mean that I didn’t go out and force them into reality. They came to me.

I have two new design clients (each approached me, I didn’t ever try to seek design projects), a workshop at Alt Summit with Ez, an exciting home feature, and a whole new aspect of workshops and consulting based on reader requests.

Simply incredible. I could not be more grateful.

So, you might be wondering how the hell did I get all those awesome opportunities to come to pass in just four stinking weeks? The truth is that some have been percolating for a bit longer but just got approved or completed recently, and others just popped up once I stopped trying to “make things happen.”

However, it wasn’t like I was just sitting on a rock meditating to attract these things my way alone. In the case of the home feature and design clients, I had been doing and sharing what I loved: decorating my home with people online and in real life. My current clients saw my home and were interested in having me help them as well. So in this case I was “active” in the sense that I was serving others with blog posts and doing something that excited me. But I wasn’t shouting from the rooftops “hire me!!!!” 

In fact, in one interview for a commercial design project I actively told them that I hoped they picked the best person for the job. If it was me, I was beyond excited to get started. And if it was someone else, I hope they had a wonderful completed design that worked with their overall vision.

In the Alt Summit case, I noticed the Things I’m Afraid to Tell You movement was nominated by someone on Twitter to Alt as something to include in the conference. Since I was already attending (thanks to a ticket bought from Jess), I sent them a quick email letting them know that I would be at the conference and if they wanted me to speak about the subject, I would be more than happy to.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear anything. So I figured it was a no-go, that it wasn’t meant to be, and that was totally okay with me (see: important no’s). But out of the blue a few weeks ago I did get an email back from them asking me to co-teach with Ez. A dream come true! Had it not happened, I was totally at peace with it, I just offered up a way I could help and be of service if they needed it. No attachment in my ego was made about whether the answer was yes or no.

And finally, when it comes to the new workshops and consulting that I will be doing, they again, cropped up from the service I have been providing here on the blog. Though I still want to keep a bit of suspense for the announcement next week, I will say that a few readers have been finding certain aspects of my writing helpful and they wanted to work with me one-on-one about those topics. I took their feedback seriously and decided that it was indeed a good idea to expand from business to other intentional areas as well.

So it’s pretty clear that the main themes that drew these new ventures to me involved doing things I naturally loved to do and serving other people.

But there was one more thing in my pretirement plan I mentioned above: do things that feel right.

This principal applies to what helped me get to pretirement in the first place: I decided to close Jess LC. So many kind friends and readers have asked me how I’m doing after the close of the shop. And they often expect me to have a bit of sadness to share. But the truth is, nothing has ever felt more right in my career than closing the shop.

Had I listened to any fearful worries about income and the unknown path created from pursuing my purpose full-time, I would never have had the time, energy, or ability to take on these new projects which bring me so much joy.

Along with hearing all of these yeses in my life, there have been a few no’s too. But each one is now filtered into one of the following:

Not this way.  - Not with this person or in this form.

Not right now. – Not at this point in time, but sometime in the future.

Not what would really make you happy. – If I got this opportunity, something about it would not be good for me or I wouldn’t like it.

So those few no’s that have cropped up are filtered with such a trusting, positive interpretation that I can feel peaceful knowing that even that “no” is working in my favor in some way and will eventually lead to a different “yes.”

I am so, so thankful that I have chosen to take this new approach to my pretirement. And I cannot wait to see what new offers come my way in the years to come.

And the best part? This approach is not exclusive, expensive, or hard to implement.

It just takes a leap of faith.

As I type this post I have to do the following in the next twenty minutes: write this post, put makeup on/do my hair, take the puppy out, and leave for my monthly business mentorship meeting.

Needless to say, I’m typing coherent sentences as quickly as possible.

Lately, this has been my life.

I “thought” that ending Jess LC, finishing the apartment, and getting past the Thanksgiving holidays would leave me peaceful. That I’d have more time to breathe, to ponder, to wax poetic here on the blog for as long as I liked.

But the truth is that I’m almost a week out from those major projects passing and I’m still frantic with many new projects in my plate. How will I get them all done in time?

I’m honestly not quite sure, but I said a prayer and I’m hoping for the best.

I was relating my story to a recent Business with Intention workshopper, Kimberly of Daily Sip Studios in our first session. Without skipping a beat she said, “I think that’s just how you live your life.”

Bam.

The woman had known me for twenty minutes and she had me pegged.

As much as I am all about making under my life and I understand that less is more… I seem to personally have a habit of crafting new, exciting projects like it’s my job (oh wait, it kinda is).

But the effect of this enthusiasm is a constant state of, “I have so much to do now, how is it all going to come together? And when to I get to r-e-s-t?”

I think this is in part because of my strengths, according to Strengths Finder 2.0. One of my biggest strengths (besides the world’s least sexy trait: individualization) is activator.

Once I have an idea (which is my second biggest strength: ideation), I want to make it happen NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, right NOW.

So I suppose with the strength of ideation and activator I’m kinda destined to have this crazy life that I lead. Even though I’m constantly trying to reign it in and simplify along the way.

Though I normally have a clear point at the end of my posts, this one I’m leaving open ended. I think I am just now becoming fully aware of this duality in my life and I am not sure exactly yet how to make peace with it.

Do I just accept that my life will always be crazy and that’s how I, in some [insane] part of my brain, prefer it? Or do I try to let my ideas percolate a bit longer and spread them out over more ‘reasonable’ time frames?

I think there is truth to both approaches.

But right now, I have makeup to put on, a dog to take out, and a meeting to make before I can find the right balance.

This year I have learned many lessons. It was outwardly my most transformational year and inwardly I made similar progress as well.

One lesson I’ve learned over and over each month is that having “it all” in my career is not a recipe for happiness.

I received many emails and compliments while I was juggling Jess LC, Business with Intention, and the blog. Very kind mentions about how I was so lucky to “have it all.”

But I will tell you the experience of juggling everything was not increasing my quality of life.

There is a saying that I was reminded of time and again this year that says “when you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.” And holding three sticks logs with opposite ends so weighty was draining.

I constantly felt like I was working “in” my businesses, not “on” them… unless I was pulling night and weekend hours (which is never my long-term intention). And though I initially planned to alleviate some of my workload by taking on a more permanent manager for Jess LC, I was stopped in the nick of time by my intuition.

When I started this blog in 2009 I named it Makeunder My Life. After a series of failed attempts at deep happiness via external additions like purses, candy bars, guys, and lipstick, I realized life is improved and strengthened when it is reduced to the most intentional elements. When the unintentional excess is cut out, we shine.

And this universal concept applied to my career as well. Sure if I was truly meant to juggle all three businesses for the rest of my life I would have found a way to make it work. But the fact that I was feeling dull, exhausted, and depleted was a great indication that my “all” was too much.

I think what I’m really trying to say is that no matter how glossy a career looks from the outside, no matter how tempted we are to wish we had a company/job/career like so-and-so, we never know what’s lurking on the other end of that stick. And spending time wishing for “it all” is really a recipe for stress and burnout.

Rather, I hope that we can learn to look inside ourselves for internal direction to find the path that is suited to our strengths, talents, and purpose. Because that’s the stick worth holding.

Now that Jess LC has ended, I have decided to pre-retire.

In fact, I’ve smooshed the word together and shortened it to: pretiring.

Why am I pretiring you might ask? And what does it mean?

I am pretiring because I am now at a point in my career where I’m no longer balancing a day job with my dream job. Though Jess LC was a fantastic adventure and is certainly more my jam than many other careers out there, it was still a J-O-B for me. Even being self-employed, I wasn’t living my dream. I was paying my bills doing something pretty fun, but not directly related to my purpose and passion in life.

Quite simply: I am meant to help people design lives, homes, and businesses with intention.

I know this to be true deep down in my core and doing these things makes me happy to no end. And now that I have the opportunity to go down this path full-time, I want to live the experience to the fullest.

Don’t get me wrong: I still have every bit of financial responsibility that I had before with my J-O-B. But the difference is how I’m earning those dolla bills.

I get to do what I am meant to do and get paid for it. 

This new transition also gives me the chance to have more time to think, ponder, and explore. Before when I was balancing the blog, my shop, consulting, and workshops I was constantly at maximum capacity. I was always running on the treadmill of work trying to get it all done in a reasonable amount of time so I could have a life (which is equally important to me).

Now that I’m cutting a substantial chunk of my business time out of the picture, I will have actual down time to rest, research, and work on high-level aspects of the business that will move it forward in the future.

And at the same time I’ll have time to be worried and fearful.

Because when I step back from Jess LC into a still relatively young business full-time, I won’t have the 14 years of business growth to pull me forward. There could be slow times, lulls, and silent moments to freak out about how I’m going to earn enough money.

Not that those thoughts will be useful, they are purely an egoic and fearful reaction to the new and unknown. Experience with Jess LC for the last five years has taught me that things work out, life provides, and I will be fine despite any fearful thoughts that pop into my head.

In order to meet those fearful pauses head on, I’ve decided to pre-retire.

Instead of approaching my dream career as another self-employed J-O-B, I’m going to act as though I’m retired. Instead of bills motivating me to forge ahead, I am going to focus on the aspects that happily retired people center their lives around: contribution, service, and joy. 

Each day I am going to give myself permission to get up and do what I want to do. And if something eventually feels forced, contrived, or lacking the oomph to keep going, I’m going to turn it down. I’m going to do what I’d do if I didn’t have to make money.

I’m going to be internally driven to help people in a full-time capacity from a state of contribution and service first.

Sure there may be aspects of my business that I may not love, like bookkeeping. But it still needs to get done. So I will either hire a bookkeeper if I don’t like doing it long-term or I will find a way to set an intention that makes me internally motivated to do it with joy. For example, I do really want to know how this grand experiment of pretiring will pan out. I have hunch that it will bring me much more money than approaching it any other conventional way. And in order to find out if this hypothesis is true, I will need to know how much revenue and profit I’m making. Which means if I do the books myself, I’ll have an accurate picture of the financial landscape at all times. 

Boom. Now I have a motivated reason to track the books and do it without complaining.

By continuing to take the stress off the bottom-line and bring it to the service-side of my career (or non-career, as I’m looking at it), I will be able to keep the fear monster at bay. I’ll be too busy filling my life and days with contribution, service, and joy to pay attention to fear or worry. I’ll be operating out of faith.

Of course this isn’t to say that this is a lifestyle choice everyone should make. It’s simply for me, a more exciting and alluring way to spend my days doing what I love without the coulds, shoulds, and woulds floating in the back of my mind. I’m taking control, being proactive, and living life the way I really want: as a pretired Helper of People.

I don’t intend to “work” another day in my life.