Today I’m busy back in the studio getting everything in order after my amazing California trip. Coming back from a week out of the office is a bit surreal. I’m busy catching up on emails, business requests, orders, and the next sneak peek email for the bags. The photo shoot went fabulously (more on that later).
In the meantime, I’d like to share an awesome post by Kelsey Williams of the blog Words of Williams. Below she shares how she and her husband took their marriage from good to great – intentionally.
Four Reasons We Are Still Married
I met Eric in college. We were best friends for six months before we started dating. We got engaged, had a lovely fall wedding and went on a magical honeymoon.
Happily ever after, right?
Not so fast. I had no idea the amount of work that was required for having a great (not good) marriage.
Because of my naivety, we spent two (hard) years being married and me not thinking we needed to work at it, and Eric trying so hard to work at it. The tension grew until I finally realized that our marriage wasn’t great and it wasn’t going to be unless we did work at it. Together.
Because when we said our vows, we agreed that divorce was not an option.
But no one teaches you how to be married, and we both came into it with different views of how it should look. So, over the past couple years, we’ve worked hard at making our marriage great.
As Jess would say, we’re designing a marriage with intention. Instead of letting life happen to us, we’re proactive in making sure our marriage is divorce-proof. And it’s been so worth it.
These four things have made the past couple years easier than the first two.
1. Financial Peace University. For us, this class was more marriage counseling than financial planning. We didn’t realize how many of our stresses, discussions and arguments were rooted in our fears or differing opinions about money. Dave Ramsey helped us get on the same page.
2. We have annual family meetings. Each year, at the end of the year, we have a family meeting. We talk about finances, plan for the upcoming year (budget, vacations, etc.), reflect on the past year and set goals.
3. We’re honest with each other. Over-communicating can be a really powerful way to earn trust in your marriage. One night, after attending a church service where the message was about pornography, Eric told me, “I don’t download pornography and hide it from you.” This wasn’t something he had to tell me. I was sure that he didn’t. But his openness really meant a lot to me, and it started a very open and honest conversation between us.
4. We love God more than we love our spouse. We pray together every night, and it’s our goal that God is No. 1. Our spouse comes second, and family is third. Mixing up this order is dangerous.
What tips do you have for a designing a marriage with intention?
Kelsey Williams is a fashion blogger at Snappy Casual and a lifestyle blogger with her husband, Eric, at Words of Williams. They live in Des Moines, Iowa, and are on a mission to create a marriage with intention. You can follow Kelsey on Twitter (@KelseyWilliams).