IfYouAreFeelingLost

Last week’s Ask Me Anything was a lot of fun! It was so great to help so many of you in such a personal way. I plan on doing another one of these AMA’s in a few months, so stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’d like to address one of the popular phrases that stuck out to me in answering the questions you shared.

“I feel lost.” 

This phrase was shared from people in relationships. Out of relationships. In a job. And out of a job.

And I can totally relate.

When I was just a few months into starting Jess LC (my old accessory company) full-time, I remember many moments where I didn’t know what to do next to make the business grow.

I didn’t have a boss to guide me.

The was no promise that rent would be paid.

And I had no clue what to do about a difficult sales rep situation that left me feeling extremely insecure.

(So insecure, in fact, that anxiety filled my chest every time I passed their office on the bus for about two years. True story.)

At the time, it felt like I hit a dead end. I didn’t know what to do next or how to move forward.

Over time, I sloooowly realized that: 

The reason we feel lost is because we rely on our own ego/brain/current skills/understanding, when we really needed to connect to the deeper part of our being – our intuition – for guidance. 

In the beginning, I didn’t really know how to access that part of me though.

I simply knew that my head/ego did not have the answers that I sought.

So I turned to spirituality as a pathway to finding that deeper understanding.

It wasn’t super pretty at first.

I pretty much just begged to the Universe to help me.

Literally. Aloud.

– I stopped just short of shaking my fists at the air.

But over the years, I’ve found a nicer, gentler approach that has served me well. And, I hope, this method can also help you connect to that deeper part of you that knows what you need to know in this moment that can bring peace.

The practice is simple: go to a quiet spot and write out the questions you have and wait to hear the responses that come to you from within. 

It’s like journaling, but you are just asking questions and writing down the responses you hear inside.

Mind you, you aren’t personally answering the questions with your ego/stream of consciousness. You want to wait and listen for the response to come.

For me, I hear it in my “gut” or stomach area. Others hear it in their heart.

And since I know this might sound a little strange, I thought it might be helpful if I share an excerpt from one of my own conversations with my intuition to help you see what a conversation like this can look like.

 

A conversation with my Intuition

 

{{Backstory: This particular conversation is from a few months ago and is about a project I have not yet shared. So for now, the topic is replaced by blanks. When the time is right, I’ll share the whole story.}}

 

ME: [Universe/Intuition/God], why do I have this inner conflict? What is it about? 

INTUITION: It is about the reason that you are supposed to _______. You are already helping people – but that has grown a bit dim.

And you are happy right now in your comfort zone, at least for a little while.

Just taking the changes that you have made [so far] has left you a bit burned out and moving so fast you weren’t able to really feel safe.

So you kinda put this out of your mind and reveled in a break from the fast pace that you have been on – or at least you think you have been on.

But the truth is that you are ready.

Why I am I supposed to ________? 

Because it will help people. And you.

But I already help people, why _______ specifically?

Because you will connect to them in a deeper way, in a transformative way that you cannot do in one-on-one sessions or on the blog.

Will I really help them? I’m scared.

You are scared of the unknown. You always have been. This just feels bigger to you.

It feels bigger to me because I know that I heard you say it. You told me to ________.

I’ve never asked you before and now it feels big and important and really like if I don’t do it perfectly than I will fail at my purpose.

I will fail at my destiny. 

It is not your destiny to _______. That is a part of your journey and nothing more.

Okay, that takes some pressure off of it. Thanks. 

Also, you cannot fail at it.

As long as you decide to do it and listen to me, it cannot fail. The only way it can fail is if you don’t do it at all.

And even then, you are whole and complete. Nothing is lacking.

Yes. But I know that I’m supposed to ________ and every moment that I don’t do it, it feels farther away.

More distant. More likely to fail.

I’m also scared that it won’t be very good. I don’t feel like I have dominion over the other areas – not like I do the home parts. That I know – but what do I really know about relationships? Children? Career? 

You don’t know. But I do. And if you listen to me I will help you through.

Really? You will? I am going to need a whole bunch of interception.

Will this ______ change my life?

Yes. It will change your life. [Doing] it will change your life more than what happens afterwards.

It will teach you to be dedicated to a longterm project that incorporates massive healing for other people in a way that requires patience and dedication.

Well, I think Jess LC was kinda like that. It required patience and dedication. 

Yes, it did. But it was the income that drove you then. This isn’t about the income.

This ______ will be more about patience and dedication than Jess LC. You are going to have to bring yourself to this day and day out because you believe in it. 

It is more challenging this way. A different kind of stress.

The stress you will feel will be because of seeing yourself not align with your own vision of yourself.

Do I really have what it takes to _______? I don’t feel like I’m able to ______ very well. Well, I have had moments of it that were inspired by you. But not in such a sustained way. 

You don’t need it sustained, you need it each day one piece at a time. So don’t worry about it. I will provide the inspiration you need each day.

Enough for one day at a time.

Okay. Will I be happier after this?

You will be happier that you learned to push yourself in a new way. Like running the marathon. It will give you new resources to just keep going on other things in the future.

But the _______ will not fulfill you in the long run.

Nothing will.

Okay. So why should I _______?

Because the pain of not [doing] it now is worse than [doing] it.

Is it? 

Yes.

How do you know?

Because you are writing to me, aren’t you?

Yes. 

So there you go.

You want to [do] it so badly you’d talk to your gut for several pages just to help you overcome the resistance you feel.

But what if I don’t have enough ______ [for the project]? 

You will find them.

You really want me to [do] this, don’t you?

Yes.

Okay then. Please work through me. 

- //// -

It’s as simple as that.

Write out the questions you have.

Air your concerns and your fears.

See what comes to light.

You’ll notice that my gut didn’t tell me what was going to happen after I finished this project.

 

I’ve come to realize that there is a reason for that present moment wisdom in our intuitions — and not a Magic 8 Ball telling us what is going to happen over the next five years.

If we knew everything right now, we’d get so focused on what is coming in year four, that we wouldn’t be able to focus and execute today.

Which means whatever we are so fixated on in year four would likely never happen in the first place.

So if you are feeling lost, I hope that you try this exercise as a way to connect to that place within you that has the answers you seek.

 

May something wonderful happen to you today,

Jess!

 

PS – If this post may help someone you know, please share this with them.

 

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