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growth spurt
April 30th, 2013     |    Life

GrowthSpurtThe past few weeks months have been tough.

For a long while, my personal life was going great, but I was resistant towards my purpose in my career (helping people find their purpose).

I had the hardest time giving myself the permission to own my gift. Which is supremely amusing considering the fact that I was perpetually giving my business clients the permission to accept and celebrate their own purposes in their businesses.

For some reason I could not do the same for myself.

Then finally, after weeks of wrestling with every flawed egoic reason that my brain could think of to avoid honoring this gift, I simply surrendered. I stopped fighting my purpose, wrote my manifesto of my beliefs about purpose in the small business world, and shifted my services to better support and communicate my perspective on purpose-based business.

The results have been astounding.

When I was resistant towards owning my purpose, while knowing deep down it was there, business slowed considerably. Once I stopped hiding it and simply put it out there, clients and opportunities started appearing at a higher pace than ever before.

It feels effortless. I get to be “me” and do what comes naturally.

For a week or two, I felt a strong sense of peace about life and business.

However, a week and a half ago, a personal matter came to light which has turned parts of my personal life upside down.

Isn’t it funny how one thing can cause friction and the moment the friction is removed, another area of our life can change on a dime?

Thankfully, this matter is not health related, and I have a strong hope that this situation, though difficult, will turn out for the best.

Because this matter involves more than just myself, I cannot share the details. But I hope one day to be able to discuss this more openly in hopes that it may encourage others in similar situations.

For now, I just know that I’m experiencing one heck of a growth spurt. 

Though sometimes I feel like crying out, “when will I ever be done growing?” I realize that if I was truly “done,” I’d stay where I am.

If I was done growing before I owned my purpose in business, I’d stay stuck helping people, but never truly sharing my real gift.

If I was doing growing before this personal matter came to light, I’d feel “happy” day-to-day, without having the chance to dramatically deepen a meaningful relationship.

So though these challenges have been difficult to process while going about my daily life and working on the upcoming projects that I’m excited to share, life is better this way.

Like many intentional choices, it is not “easy,” but it is worth it.

 

  • Hugs to you, whatever it is that you’re going through. I hear what you’re saying about business. I just recently stopped trying to be everything to everyone, took down my “business site,” and got back to me being me, going with my gut, and proclaiming to the world that I work with creative people. Like you, I never had trouble helping other people do it and giving them plenty of advice and ideas for how to go about it, but I was so resistant to doing it for myself. It’s made a huge difference already in such a short amount of time. Thank you for sharing this, Jess! I want to hug you today.

  • Sarah van Loon

    Jess, thank you for this post. I, too, am going through a weird ‘life growth spurt’ and ugh, it can really be hard sometimes! It is so, so, encouraging though to know that I’m not crazy or alone in this ‘growing’, so thank you for sharing. Your positive outlook on it is so comforting to me. Thank you. xo

  • So what did it mean for you to “own your gift” in this scenario?

  • For me, owning my gift meant sharing on my business website that I’m not simply a “business consultant,” but that I deeply believe in the power of purpose in small business and that I’m gifted at helping others discover and clarify what their specific business purpose is. It seemed weird to say “helping people find their purpose in business comes naturally to me.”

    Looking back, that’s not so strange – but in the moment that felt scary.

  • I’m happy to know that I’m not alone, either! Thank you for sharing, Sarah. Hang in there.

  • That’s wonderful to hear! I give you a huge hug as well! : )

  • I wrote a post on Friday that touches on this is a way, about how as you grow & evolve, your ceiling becomes your floor. And because of that, there is essentially no such place as “there”. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I will share this quote that I love.

    “Everything makes you more.”

    Not sure where I saw it, but I think of it often when I’m in an uncomfortable spot (that and “I am safe in uncertainty, there’s no place that God is not”). Here’s a link to the post if you want to read it: http://www.daykarobinsondesignsblog.com/2013/04/tgif-why-theres-no-such-thing-as-there.html

  • Abbie

    Sending prayers and good vibes your way girl. Growing pains suck, but are well worth it to become who we were meant to be. Just keep in mind this too shall pass and you will be better for it on the other side.

  • I can sympathize with that. The nice thing about degrees and certificates is that they bestow some acceptable level of expertise externally. But when you start your own business or self educate, you must bestow it upon yourself. You don’t want to lie or feel egotistical, you don’t want to find out you’re wrong, but you don’t have a piece of paper or mountains of debt to back it up…which seems to be the preferred currency of expertise these days. What a relief it must be to just put it out there. I’m still figuring that out myself, putting my freelancing and blog on a total hiatus until I am ready. It’s a bit stifling.

  • You are preaching to the choir my friend! (http://jesslively.com/establishing-credibility/) I totally resonate with everything you shared.

    For me, I’ve been very confident about my expertise as a business consultant and someone who helps people create intentional lives because I’ve done them for so long. But the fact that I’m gifted at finding people’s purposes – that’s nothing that a degree can ever teach – it really is simply a gift or talent. Not one that I honed, but one that I was given. And owning something like that – you are right – feels pretty egotistical. But I’m glad I finally laid that all aside and went forward humbly admitting this is what I’ve been shaped to do.

  • The great thing about preaching to the choir is that they GET IT 🙂

    The more I talk to you about this the more excited I get at the thought about attending one of your seminars! Guess I’ll have to check out the schedule to see what’s up in Chicago!

    Sounds like you’re open to working with people who are still in the “figuring it out” stage of their professional lives — and not just the “already have an established business” stage. Am I right?

  • That’s awesome to hear!

    I work with businesses at all levels – you can see how here and who here (http://www.with-intention.com/business/#one-on-one). Levels 1 and 2 I help with creating a purpose-based business. Level 3 businesses I help grow with intention. (Levels are defined on the page I just linked to.)

    Before, I was simply helping people grow with intention, but didn’t stress the importance of purpose first, intentional growth second.

    Now, I make sure to help people with that before moving on to the other intentional aspects of growth and delegation.

  • Thank you, hun!

  • Thank you for sharing! It’s funny – I can sometimes handle things will always be changing on the business side, it’s the personal side that I struggle with regarding the “there” idea. So true!

  • Ah, yes. Reading it over it does seem a lot more defined than before! I’m not gonna lie though, I think it would be fun to drive out to Chicago and meet a bunch of other energized beginners like me.

    Have you done a lot of the 75 minute sessions yet? I’m a writer full time and I know from interviews that something like that flies by in an instant!

  • Cool! The Business with Intention workshop is geared towards levels 1 and 2. : ) Level 3 is the next long format workshop I’m working on after another little project I’m working on launches…

    I’ve done dozens and dozens of the Purpose Equation sessions (I have had that option for a bout 1.5 years or so. I just never developed my business around it or truly “owned” that as the foundation of how I approach business consulting for 1’s and 2’s.

    For me, I’ve found 75 min. is a good fit for my clients. And the follow up I’m now offering helps tie up any loose ends.

    It’s certainly not as in-depth as Grow with Intention or the Workshop, but some people simply want to get that quick purpose clarity and execute on their own. Others, choose to upgrade their packages later to work on the other aspects of their business through purpose.

    It just depends on the client and their needs.

  • Well I guess I have to consult with myself over which consultation I should get! Haha.

  • Lol, nice. : ) I’d be honored to work with you.

  • Is it sad that I instinctively looked for the “like” button? Hahaha.

  • Thanks for sharing this — really needed to read it!! At this very moment! And I hope everything in your personal life resolves it… I trust that it will and it sounds like you do too! 🙂

  • I can definitely relate to this… I’ve been really struggling with similar aspects of my own business. The words that describe how I envision what I do seem to be stuck inside of me and have been slow to come out…. a part of me not wanting to give permission to let these new things that I do come to light.

  • So true! I completely notice a change in the clients and opportunities I’m attracting when I realign with my purpose and do some growing of my own. It’s so fun to hear that you’re getting value from the same things you’re teaching us. Can’t wait to see what’s next for you. 🙂

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  • I can only say from my experience and from my clients’ – please do it! When you are ready, let that part come out. Give them permission. Everything gets easier after that.

  • : ) Aw, thank you so much, hun! I’m happy to hear things are moving along well!

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