After a few weeks of feeling my mental peace shaken (a bit of smurgging had resurfaced), I was feeling pretty insecure and low this weekend.
While I usually spent time with Mr. Lively instead of dealing with the negative self-talk head on, I found myself alone yesterday as Mr. Lively spent the day with his friend.
At first I thought it might be good for me to do some worry flashcards to get all my ego-y thoughts down on paper and systematically de-mystify them. But instead, on a whim, I ended up grabbing some books and a beach towel and sat on a beach chair on my apartment building’s roof-deck.
As I reclined and opened the book with the quiet white noise of the city around me and the branches swaying, I felt instantly more peaceful. I had no where to be, no one to talk to, nothing pressing to think about.
I started to re-read the second half of The Seven Habits (again), my mind quieted down. It rested. The sticky tangle of negative thoughts evaporated as I sat on that patio, away from my routine.
Eventually I did some meditation and prayer too. That’s when my mind really melted.
Though I like to think that I have a strong sense of balance in my life, I came to understand yesterday afternoon that just because I don’t work a million hours a week or check my email often doesn’t automatically mean that I’m really relaxed or balanced.
I need to make Doing Nothing a high priority for my well-being to truly flourish. For me, that doesn’t mean sitting and watching tv or even reading blogs. To me it now means going somewhere quiet and doing something quiet.
I need to be still.
I need to be still much more often than I am now.
So to make this intention a habit, I created a little Nothing Bag, to encourage me to go back on that patio multiple times a week.
Now all I need to do is grab that pre-packed bag from my closet,
and head down to the patio. No other prep required.
The wonderful thing about a Nothing Bag is that it can be used anywhere, anytime. No patio is needed, just a quiet space and the intention to be still.