ashley’s dream report: week three

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I’m in the in-between place and I am finding that it is really hard to balance everything. Working a full time job and trying to follow your purpose and dreams at the same time is not easy! Almost every single day I wake up and wish I could just put in my 2 week notice at work and move on to “real” life. I feel like I am wasting so much time and especially energy on a job that I don’t believe in at all. It is hard for me to do work that I don’t believe in. Some people can just go to their job and work and do whatever needs to be done (even if it is to design an ad for a greyhound dog track) and then just go home and never think about it. Not me. I have to believe in it because when I do something I do it completely and with my whole heart. I just can’t half-ass anything. I couldn’t even do that as a kid. My heart and passion for the human element in every single thing I do just overrides my ability to be mediocre. I know its all dramatic and soap-opera-like but I honestly wouldn’t want to be any other way.

Of course i know i have the option of just jumping ship. you always have a choice to be in any working situation (even if you feel like you don’t). But is that the best option for me? I am not bringing in any money on the side yet. I am still working on my plan (more about that next week). But here is what I DO know… I do know that the things I need will be provided at the right time and place to move me further into my dreams. I do know that if I keep at it and stay focused on what I know to be true and believe in I will remain in my purpose and keep moving toward my dreams. And I do know that I will continue taking small steps in the direction I want to go because you can’t get anywhere without first being where you are.

Thanks for continuing to go on this journey with me. Have any of you experienced this place I am in now…wanting to quit your (life sucking) day job so badly but not being in the place to do so yet? I would love to hear how you handled it. Please share!!

P.S. I am almost finished reading the book Linchpin by Seth Godin. AMAZING book! I highly recommend it if you are in the business of following your dreams.

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  1. Freck

    I posted something very similar to this not too long ago and even included the quote “Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving” too funny! I often struggle to find my balance, too. My advice is to not concentrate too hard on it, sometimes all that thinking works against us 🙂

  2. Anna

    I was in a job that I dreaded going to 3 years ago. Fortunately, I did not have to leave but the people who made my job miserable did leave. I am still in the same job but have new bosses and like going to work now. I was patient and did not jump ship. How I made it through was to meditate daily, write in my daily gratitude journal, wrote a daily dialogue to myself, and wrote a letter to the Universe that my previous bosses will leave (similar to Jess LC’s future letter) and they did a year and a half later. I know that it is the actual job that you dislike but are there good or positive things about your job that you can focus on?

  3. Good stuff. I know that feeling of wanting to escape something you just don’t feel like fulfills your soul and utilizes your 40 hrs/ week for the right purposes. Best of luck, Ashley on making your dreams come true!

  4. I found that when I was in the position you are now, it was helpful to go home and work on my plans. I felt so great knowing that I was moving toward positive change that it made my job bearable. Sometimes I would just smile to myself and think, I won’t be sitting here in another six months, and the money you’re paying me is enabling me to feed and cloth myself while I work toward a different plan than my bosses have for me.

    Granted, there were plenty of times that I nearly just walked out, but I am glad I did not. It all depends on the plan you have and your personal safety net and comfort level.

    Good luck!

  5. I totally know what you are going throuh. I was in the field of Human Resourcs for five years-got into it directly out of college. I liked it enough but didnt feel passionate about it. I made the decision to leave about four months ago to pursue what I love and I have never been happier. It has been an adjustment to live on a budget, etc while I get things figured out but it was way worth it! I strongly believe in quality of life! Life is too short to be unhappy!
    Hope it all works out for you 🙂

  6. Flavia

    I can definitely relate. My job is not my passion, yet it’s demanding and with a long commute, so at the of the day I find it hard to get motivated to work on my future. It’s a tough balance!
    I didn’t have a chance to comment on earlier posts, but I’m really enjoying your dream report! I look forward to following you on your journey.

  7. Dayka

    I was a few years ago. I hated my job and felt like it was sucking the life out of me, just like in that movie “The Princess Bride” (the machine that takes years off your life)! I’ve since tried a few different jobs since then, and what I know for sure is that everyone I’ve had has helped me to get better at defining what it is i DO want to do. LIke someone else said, use the time to work on your dreams, and getting clearer about (or making steps towards) your vision. I’ll be embarking on something new in a few weeks, but I’m excited and feel it’s apart of my “master plan”. Best of luck to you–don’t give up! 🙂

    Oh, and I love that first quote!

  8. Jess

    I find that even with a job I absolutely love (Elementary Art Teacher), I still feel like I am a hamster in a wheel, and will never get paid more for my merit, just for “sticking out my 30 years” Sometimes I find my hobbies are more interesting to me then my job. Sometimes I think I could just drop my career to become a stay at home mom in an instant and never look back!

    How do you all balance hobbies (decorating, organizing, cooking, painting, crafting) etc, and your “real job”… Or do you find the hobbies are rewarding because they aren’t your job!?

  9. Idalia

    I’m currently in the same predicament you are. I agree,we need to plan it out! The motivation: getting to the point where you can actually give your two weeks notice! Until then–just keep plugging along and good luck.

  10. Kelley

    I too am in a day job that I dread, but I don’t feel I can quit right now without some other plan. Making plans to improve my situation and brighten my future is what’s keeping me running at this point.

  11. Simone

    Ashley, I could totally relate to this post. I was in the exact same position as you a year ago. I worked at a job that was making me really unhappy AND unhealthy. I actually ended up “jumping ship” right before the summer–I just up and quit. For me this was the right thing to do because at that point the situation really had reached a point where it was affecting my life in a really unhealthy way. Its definitely been challenging finding work in a recession. But, I think I really needed this “sink or swim” experience because its forced me to go after things I DO want, whereas before I always had my job to support me and would keep putting off going after better opportunities. The lack of financial security is definitely a bit scary however, I’m fortunate enough to have a partner who can help pick up the slack a bit. What I’ve learned through all this is that even if you’re work situation isn’t ideal, you need to always keep doing things you love & working towards your dreams. When I was working at my old job I neglected to do this and only now realize how important this is. Good Luck with everything!!

  12. Sharee

    I’m right there with you! But you know that already:) I’m working on not letting the day job get to me which is always a struggle. The biggest thing right now for me is focusing on Nathan and I and how we have been functioning as a couple and a household. We’ve spent the last 5 years living to work, not working to live (except for our awesome vacations we have taken). It’s the everyday grind that we are working to improve. Coming home and leaving work at the door is a major struggle for us but we are getting so much better day by day and it has made a huge improvement on our stress levels. I want to be living a happy, family focused life before we start a family and we are finally heading in the right direction:) Keep pushing on Ash! We can make it!

  13. Isn’t a miserable job the worst???! I know I’ve been there. The best thing I did while in a miserable position was to dream (just like you are doing) and I started studying to be a life coach (to follow my dream). It took some time, some savings and lots of energy but having something to focus on that I loved got me through those rough patches at work. Good luck!

  14. Erin

    To answer your question – yes, I’ve been in your shoes. I worked my butt off to get what I thought would be a dream job and the beginning of a dream career. I quickly realized I was wrong, but didn’t know how to get out. I spent a year in this miserable job that had me traveling every weekend, working ridiculous hours, low pay, and it turns out I wasn’t nearly as passionate about the industry as I thought I’d be. I was miserable. Dropped 10 pounds miserable. Boyfriend was in another city and my life felt like it was at a standstill. To make matters worse, like you, I then realized what I really wanted to do. I was able to start taking steps (night classes) but I didn’t know how to make that leap. And then I did. I decided to move across the country to be with my boyfriend and I found a small job in the new industry I wanted to be in. I quit my job – which felt so freeing and yet anti-climactic at the same time. I went to my new city and found an apartment. I couldn’t believe I was doing it – I was taking charge of my life. And then, as I sat in the airport in new city (I was flying back to old city to start packing) after officially getting the job and signing a lease on my new apartment, my boyfriend called me and ended our year long relationship. He felt pressured by me moving to his city (despite months of us talking and longing for it). And so I sat in the airport and bawled – what would I do now. Long story short, pride took over and I packed my apartment in old city, moved to new city, loved my little job which grew and grew. Never spoke to me ex. Met new boyfriend. Job grew into grad school across the country – and new boyfriend came with me. We got married, and I’m about to get my PhD. Happily.Ever.After. My friends, family, and I still talk a lot about my awful first career and how miserable I was. Things really seemed hopeless. And then I took action and was dumped – hopeless yet again! But it felt amazing to take charge of my life and forge ahead into the unknown – and it turns out the unknown was my fabulous life I’d always wanted. Sorry for the long comment. Hang in there!!

  15. Sue

    Yes. I do know of which you speak… 🙂

    I quit my job last October. It was life-sucking.
    However, it had so many good qualities that I was willing to stay with it for almost 3 years and venture forth…pulling every bit of positiveness out of it that I could.
    One night I went to bed and it just hit me….I said to my husband, “I’m quiting my job tomorrow”… and that was that.
    I am now in the complete process of still working full-time…but now my time. I work hard every single day on my own business (a business that had been forming in my head for almost 15 years!) and I work hard at keeping up with my home and taking care of my school-aged children.
    I’m exhausted every night. But, each item on my “to-do” list is MINE.
    I make sure I set goals for myself each week and stick with my lists.

    I’m taking every bit of “every idea” I’ve had, thinking them through…letting myself really take the time see what they “feel like” and mushing them all together…and it feels so good. (My favorite thing is to go through my collection of “vision board” folders and notice the life I’m creating now really does match what I craved years and years ago.)

    It took having that particular “life-sucking” job to have me see just how capable and strong I am.
    If I did not go through the experience of having that particular job, I would never have the gumption or energy to go with my ideas…. I would probably still be day dreaming and whining.

    Good Luck to you…I am sure you are on the right path.
    Hang in there…

    Sue from Wisconsin… 🙂

  16. Sue

    p.s. I read your post, via MakeUndermylife, via Decor8.


  17. Sue

    I botched that p.s.

    just via Decor8.
    Please excuse my crazy writing…when I flow thru one blog to another to another, reading fabulous posts, I tend to lose track of where I’ve been.

    o.k. I’m done…please don’t post these last two comments 🙂

    Have a great weekend… ~

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