Earlier today I tweeted about how I was frustrated about a situation that I’d like to share. Here’s the story, and the (eventual) happy ending.
Since January I’ve been dealing with a bank about a student loan and the relatively simple process is still going on. What should have been a one time encounter, has taken four or five letters and four or five phone calls over the past two months. Every few weeks I think the situation is complete and each time I find that there is Something. More. To. Do.
The last time this happened I was on a call and was almost in tears out of sheer frustration at how this has been handled and how this continues to be an unresolved issue. After majorly venting on the last call, I implored them to send me the proper forms and details so I could finally put this all behind me.
Today when I opened the letter I found that the form which has been the source of this whole debacle was not included in the envelope, which now continues this whole process and warranted a fifth or sixth call to this bank.
This time I started with a cooler head than the last call, yet I found my blood starting to boil as I was forced to explain the ridiculous scenario again.
Though I didn’t get quite as upset as before, my mood was properly sullen after the call.
Hence the tweet.
However, over the past few weeks I have been doing really great at keeping my mind clear of a lot of “muck” and negative thoughts. So contrasting that extremely positive recent outlook with this afternoon’s mood felt… itchy.
Like wearing a wool turtleneck in today’s warm weather. I just wanted to take off the frustration and chill out.
But I couldn’t shake the itchy mood until…
I forgave the bank for all of the hassle I’ve gone through the past two months.
Though they have no idea that I’ve forgiven them for this experience, I needed to mentally sincerely forgive them in order to forgive myself for my own behavior towards them. Otherwise the negative smog was going to pollute my interactions the rest of the day. And I really didn’t want that to happen.
As long as I was holding them accountable for their mistakes, I was holding myself accountable for my own
negative malevolent reaction.
My behavior the past two times was ultimately what had me holding on to the anger and frustration I felt about the situation as a whole.
I know that customer service is a tough job, it’s something I do everyday with Jess LC. But I didn’t let that stop me from venting to the customer service reps. And all that venting didn’t change anything, it just kept me stuck in the itchy turtleneck long after we got off the phone.
For me, withdrawing judgment from both parties was the key to letting things clear up.
Sometimes it’s easy to point fingers at other people who make mistakes and then continue to feel crappy much longer than necessary. Because we ultimately need to hold ourselves accountable for our own reactive behavior – and forgive accordingly.