Hi guys! I learned a great lesson yesterday that I’d love to share about “dropping the stick.” Please let me know by email (jess[at]jesslc[dot]com) or in the comment section if you are loving these recent “thinking with intention” posts or if you’d prefer more clutter, home, and business related content. I’m here to help, so just let me know! I do plan to keep a good mix overall, but I’d like to know if these “thinking” posts are valuable or if I should focus more time on the other MML categories.
Dropping the Stick
Yesterday a friend told me about a not-so-nice comment a stranger said about me. After I heard the rude comment, I reflected and came to a new level of understanding that I’m now calling “dropping the stick.”
The moment that I heard the hurtful comment, the phrase “when you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other” popped in my head.Â I realized I had a choice: I could pick up the stick, or leave it alone. Meaning, I could judge the person who said the hurtful comment for saying such biased and unnecessary words. I could defend myself in my head by telling myself how wrong, mean, and judgmental the commenter was. I could remind myself how much “better” I am than the other person, knowing I would never say such a thing about someone. This could have caused a temporary sense of satisfaction; some ice for my bruised ego.
But by picking up that end of the stick, I would inevitably pick up the other end as well: I would be choosing to allow the comment to hurt me and thereby feel upset, angry, and sad. By judging him for the mean comment, I would be holding onto the hurt it could cause as well.
So instead, I decided to reflect on the comment itself, ignoring the man who said it, why he said it, or whether he should have said it in the first place. Ignoring the mean undertone to the comment, I reflected objectively on the situation and in this specific case, realized there was a spark of inspiration. In all honesty, I had personally been feeling uneasy about that aspect of my life and had been wanting to make some changes. I’ve also honestly noticed I’ve been a bit complacent about making that specific shift. And by reflecting purely on the comment (disregarding the ugly undertone) it inspired me to commit to the change I’ve been personally struggling with.
Refusing to place blame or pass judgment on the man who made the mean comment, I refused to allow his comment to “hurt” me. Then looking at the comment itself objectively, I found some inspiration within it to help me actually implement my own intentions. So what could have been a really hurtful, negative experience was rendered first neutral, and then positive as I later reconnected with my truest desire to improve myself.
I wonder how often we have similar experiences and we get so caught up playing with the stick that we lose sight of what’s really important or could even be useful in our lives. By simply withdrawing from the ugly and painful stick, we step then over it and make peaceful and positive progress, if needed.