TLS #159: A Lively Adventure: Our emotions do not equal our circumstances


Today’s Lively Show is going into a subject that I’m fascinated by: the connection (or disconnection) between circumstances and emotions.

This is some new territory on TLS, we have touched on emotions briefly in this episode with Brooke Castillo, and today I’m going deeper into how we can chose to positively shift our emotions despite circumstances that would normally “dictate” otherwise. And, how by choosing positive emotions before things happen, situations unfold in better than “expected.”

This episode is perfect for anyone who is looking to have more positive feelings and less emotional reactivity to circumstances (or other people’s emotions) in their lives.







  • Even though our circumstances can vary, our access to different emotions is relatively limited.

  • The scale of emotions (see below) and how they relate and range in your life.

  • How our circumstances do not have to define where we land on this scale.

  • Why we don’t always need to feel the worst because of the worst circumstances.

  • Due to the large amount of circumstances and limited amount of emotions, the scale can help us identify where we and others are on the scale.

  • We can see what emotions we gravitate to the most, it allows us to have empathy for ourselves and others, we can question whether the emotion we are currently feeling is serving us in the situation or see if we can float to a higher emotion.

  • Can we choose our emotions before our circumstances?

  • Why we need to model our behavior for others so they desire what your secret is to adjust their emotion and mood.

  • We don’t need to attach our own emotional well-being to the moods of others.



Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins

TLS #68 with Hal Elrod 








This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Xenia

    Thanks for this episode. It really resonated with me and gave me a new perspective in that I might not be a victim to my emotions but might actually be able to choose them. I’ll be working on it 😉 I love the new kind of episodes, keep the great work up.
    Greetings from Germany 🙂

  2. Le Genou de Claire

    Looking at emotions as a scale is a fascinating concept! Just as painters don’t necessarily have favorite color, or composers don’t have favorite note, it keeps emotion in perspective. Thank you for presenting this idea!

    “Ninja-level” spiritual stuff implies that something is harder to achieve — like it is “out there” for us to achieve or to arrive at. I chose to think we need to focus whether or not something is possible within us at all times, because it, more often than not, is! E.g. I’m feeling anger now, is it possible, is it available to me at this moment, a space to feel pride (to shift to a different emotional level)? That way, it is not about “achieving the ninja-level” but more of an experiment of expanding awareness so that the emotion we want to feel is more and more a possibility in our lives.

    Love all the work as always, best wishes on your journey & looking forward to the next episode!

  3. Bibi

    Hello ! first time commentator here, picked an episode to listen to at random and came across this one and wow ! a definite eye opener. As someone who has ‘breezed’ through some serious health complications and continues to do so, yet is constantly sweating the small stuff when it comes to work, ( in turn increasing the stress levels that exacerbate my health issues!) i’ve been trying to find a balance for my bizarre way of handling big and small problems, but i guess its how you define them… i’m learning that my emotions definitely do not equal my circumstances and trying to find ways to work through this. Thanks Jess 🙂 hope to see you in London some day!

  4. Elaine

    I have been super duper interested in learning about emotions recently. I listened to this episode yesterday and found the idea of looking at emotions on a scalar level as well as not allowing our circumstances determine our emotional experience just so simple and wonderful. Then just this morning I found another podcast’s episode discussing the use of essential oils and the connection they can make with our emotions, and for me this was just the next step.

    I just thought that I would share this so that Jess or anyone else who happens to stumble across this comment may benefit from it. Because, at least for me, hearing this other conversation allowed me to see a perfect way of marrying the intentional mind-setting about our circumstances that Jess shared with a physical practice with essential oils and the powerful lymphatic system. Our bodies are so freaking amazing! I hope someone finds this helpful! (:

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