gratitude and asking

GtatitudeAndAskingEarlier this month I shared two habits I was looking to develop: gratitude and asking. Today, I thought I’d share a little update on each.


The Gratitude Habit

Right after Thanksgiving I felt weak the gratitude department, so I decided to build up my gratitude muscles by setting two phone alerts to go off everyday (one at noon and one at 3:00p).

immediately felt more grateful the first day or two. I really loved it.

By days three through six… I kinda found the alerts annoying. I briefly considered turning them off, but realized that the times when I felt frustrated by the alerts were the exact times when I was not feeling very present.

So rather than delete the alerts, I made a more concentrated effort to stop whatever I was doing in the moment (as long as I wasn’t in the middle of a call or conversation), and really tried to give the next 60 seconds to finding five things to be grateful about. This one switch really made a big difference!

Now this habit helps me strengthen my gratitude as well as my present moment awareness.

I highly recommend trying it (or something similar) if you want to help boost your gratitude.


The Power of Asking


This second habit comes from the wallpaper quote for this month. I have seen the fruits of this habit in large and small ways.

The small way that this came true involves a pair of grey stretchy workout pants that came in the mail. I wanted a pair just like them, so I was quite pleasantly puzzled by the fact that they appeared on my doorstep.

I asked my mother-in-law, who sent the pants, how she knew I wanted them. She simply replied, “you said that you liked my pair when I was at your home for Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d get you a pair.”

Duh. I had totally forgotten about my compliment. I was so surprised that mentioning a desire in the form of a compliment could bring it into my life.

As for the big ask, I recently renegotiated a contract and I needed to decide what to quote for the project. I had a number in mind, but part of me was scared to ask for it.

It was a large sum, and independent of my own feelings about the value I would provide, I was a still intimidated by the number itself.

However, when I thought about how I picked this wallpaper quote and hoped that you would take it to heart – I knew that I needed to do the same.

I ended up quoting the scary, but well deserved, rate and got it! It was a huge relief – and I am so, so thankful I didn’t cut myself short just because I was scared by a number.

The job was well worth the value and now I get to move forward feeling properly compensated for my work.


So how about you? Have you tried either of these habits and seen any results?

Thank you so much for reading and have a great weekend! 


PS – I have some surprises for you next week… stay tuned!!

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  1. Sara Moore

    I love this idea for gratitude awareness! I’m always very thankful and gracious in the moment – someone holds a door, hands me my coffee – but don’t often think about the bigger picture of things I’m grateful for. And as you said, you need it most often on those not-so-present days. Setting an alarm now…

    1. Jess Lively

      I’m so happy to hear you are going to try it! As I mentioned, don’t be surprised if you like it at first and then get annoyed. The annoyed times usually end up being when you are busy or stuck in your head more than you are appreciating things and being present. : ) And it definitely helps to bring that larger scale awareness, too.

      Please let me know how it goes!

      1. Sara Moore

        I will! And P.S. I finally wrote that blog post about not sacrificing your style during and after pregnancy. 🙂 Still have to finish up the visuals but I’ll let you know when I post it. Thanks for the inspiration!

  2. Shannon

    Hi Jess,
    I love your writing and ideas. I am in my 40’s, very into personal growth and I always learn from what you post. I was wondering if you ever saw HappyThankYouMorePlease. Its a great independent movie, and I am pretty sure you would like the message! Keep up the amazing work.

    1. Jess Lively

      Thank you so much, Shannon! Especially the part about the writing and ideas. I am doing my best to make those two things, in particular, as great as possible.

      I haven’t seen that movie, but I am going to put it on my to-watch list! Thank you for the recommendation.

      Have a great weekend!

  3. Meagan Lamont

    I think it is so true to ask for what you want. If you don’t, you will always wonder what could have been…

    1. Jess Lively

      So true! If I had lowballed my quote in the project scenario I would have always been resenting the amount I would be working for. Now, I don’t have to feel that way and can do things without any resentment. : )

      Have a great weekend!

  4. Nicole

    Love both of these tips! I’m so glad you’re sharing them here, along with examples of how they truly work. I’ve had the second scenario happen so many times, it’s kind of insane. For example, just this week: I’m starting a new line of my business and slowly phasing out the current line. But I still need the current one for income stream and the other day, I said aloud, “I really just need one small project for the current business so I can feel less stressed about cash flow, but have enough focus to keep building the new business.” I kid you not, 12 hours later, that project came in. Yesterday, I sent them a proposal and asked for the fee I wanted – and believed I deserved – though I wasn’t sure they’d go for it. Lo and behold, they did! One thing I’ve learned: “Ask for what you want and know what you’ll accept.” More times than not, you indeed get what you ask for! :->

    1. Jess Lively

      That is so amazing, Nicole! I’m so happy you were able to ask into being your ideal situation with the cash flow and transition to your new focus.

      Thank you for sharing!

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