maggie’s dream report: week twenty-seven

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*To submit a question for me to answer in next week’s Q&A post, leave it in a comment!*

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As much as I love blogging and what it’s done for my business (starting it, for one thing!), the internet can start to feel like high school sometimes.

I remembered this the other day, while seeing that another blogger had gotten a pretty prominent feature on a big site. And while I like that blogger a lot, I couldn’t help but feel jealous and frustrated. “It’s not fair!” I whined to myself (and the cat), “I should be on there!”

You know, like a bratty teenager.

The internet has its popular girls. And you and me and everyone else (yes I’m generalizing) looks at “the cool table” and wonders when they’re gonna make it there.  And seeing one of your buddies get that coveted invitation… well, you feel good for her and kinda hate her at the same time. Not that I’m particularly proud of this… I just have a feeling that some of you may have experienced something similar. Wishing and hoping for approval and to be deemed worthy.

And you can’t forget the “new girl”. The blog that comes out of nowhere and seems to be an overnight success. “How was that so EASY for her?” you wonder. There may or may not be desperate attempts to “get in” with her before she figures out you’re not one of the cool girls. Ahem.

But since it’s been a while since I actually was in high school (almost 9 years if you’re counting), I do have a little bit of insight to how to combat the popularity ladder… at least in your mind and attitude. See, in high school, we didn’t really realize that the popular girls were insecure too. They may be aware that they’re popular, but they’re human just like the rest of us and are probably pinching themselves and hoping it doesn’t all just disappear. This completely goes for bloggers too (think she’s always wearing those stilettos and Chanel, or is she in her pj’s just like you?). Also, your “level” of popularity is totally dependent on perspective. I may sometimes feel like a grade A first class loser sitting at the freshman table, but to that girl over there, I’m doing really well. She wishes her blog were as successful as my blog, even while I wish mine was as successful as the homecoming queen’s.

As my analogy falls apart, my message is that everyone feels like they are, at times, at the complete bottom of the totem pole. Like there is so far to climb and that you’re getting passed over by the new-girls of the world. That everyone else is more successful, has more opportunities, and has the hottest boyfriend (ok, slipping back into that analogy!). But everyone experiences those feelings.

I wish that I’d spent less time in high school wanting to be popular and had just taken some chances and not been so scared. I would have tried out for cheerleading. I would have joined the school newspaper. I would have taken more art classes. I would have talked to the boys that I considered “out of my league”. And you know what? Now that I have a business and a blog, I get a second chance to (ahem) flip the bird to popularity and take those chances. Nope, not picking up the pom pom’s anytime soon, but go after the dreams that are important to me now and not wondering if I’ll “fit in”. Popularity and success will find me, instead of me chasing them.

Anyone else sometimes feel like blogging is like high school? Now that you’re not 17 anymore, how do you combat those familiar feelings?

P.S. Next week I want to do a special Q&A and answer any questions you have for me – about my business, blogging, interior design, anything you want. Leave your questions in the comment section below or email me at maggie AT maggieroseonline.com. Looking forward to it!

Maggie Morgan is an interior decorator in Seattle. Visit her website to see her work and read her blog, Maggie Rose.

This Post Has 12 Comments

  1. Nikell

    I love the analogy you used…spot on! I often feel the same way. I’ve learned to focus on what I have now what I don’t have. I’ve also learned that what God has for me…is for me. I can be confident that if I continue to be faithful in what I have right now it’ll grow.
    I love this post!!!

  2. I confess, I am guilty of this mentality too. I have to remind myself from time to time to step back and not take it all too seriously! I try to remember the quote, “Do what you love and the rest will come.”

  3. Susan

    HI Maggie! I do have a question, my husband and I are on a tight budget, we live in an apartment and I would really like to put a personal touch on our rather bland landscape. If you have a $100 to decorate where would you start? Would you buy a great piece of art? would you invest in a chair or accent item, like a lamp or vase? Should we spend it all on one thing or a few little things. Any thoughts? Just trying to make our ‘house’ a ‘home’!!

  4. I just love your transparency in this post, Maggie. Such a valid topic; I’m guessing most of us have had some of these emotions from time to time. I have even made the high school analogy when explaining aspects of the blog world to my husband! The one thing that I constantly remind myself is that it’s unfair to compare myself to anyone else. Period. We’re all on our own journey, and we’ll find success where and when we’re supposed to.

    That said, I still have moments of anxiety when I think about Alt Summit. THAT’S where the high school pressure kicks in! eek!

  5. Ahem! I am so guilty. I have had to check myself into a good, positive and loving attitude too many times than I can count. I decided a while back that instead of watching as others pass me by, I would get into the race and run it. People will pass me and I will pass others, but I am running my race and it is really all that matters. Getting to the finish line if there is one in this life is better than standing around and mopping.

    Insightful post and thanks for your honesty.

  6. Kate

    I can so TOTALLY relate to this post! This was me for my first two years as a blogger. I only really feel like I’ve come into my own and felt comfortable in my “blog skin” in the last few months.

  7. Valerie

    Question for Q & A:

    -Besides blogs and give aways, are there any marketing techniques that you have used and/or that you feel are effective?

    Thanks!

  8. Sarah

    Ahh so true!! I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one occasionally bitten by the jealousy bug. I keep reminding myself that I blog because I love it and I have to be ok with the fact that I may not ever be the next internet sensation. I still have those “Why not ME??” moments but I try to use them as motivation to work harder rather than sink into a pity party.

  9. Lauren

    This is so spot on – I’ve definitely felt this way before in terms of blogging and my space on the interwebs. To combat those feelings though, I frequently remind myself that I blog because I want to blog and share my creativity – not because I’m looking to be the next most popular blog out there. And if I’m not blogging out of those reasons, then there’s no reason for me to blog at all. But really great advice about taking chances, being confident, and going after those dreams!!

  10. Hey Maggie! Love the transparency of your posts. Your “realness” has been an encouragement to me many times! Question: BRAND NEW to blogging…what did you do to connect with people in your niche? Leave comments, write personal emails? Thanks! Haley

  11. Kristen

    Hi Maggie! I’ve read your blog for a while and I’m trying to be a little better with commenting since I get frustrated that none of my blog “lurkers” comment and then I realized I do the same thing! 🙁 So here I’m commenting! 🙂 Anyway, I totally agree with your post and I congratulate you on your bravery for even publicly writing about what I’m sure we’ve all experienced one way or another. I’m fairly new to the blogging scene and I don’t know how often I comment on Twitter with something very relevant and I get no response, meanwhile I can see the same person responding to a similar comment from one of their friends. Very frustrating! But I try and be like the other commenters here and just remind myself that I blog for myself and success will come, etc. So yeah, I know exactly what you mean!

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