marriage intentions

Over the past few weeks of marriage, Mr. Lively and I have been putting a lot of thought and time into creating the foundation of our relationship. I’m happy to say we are thriving in this new chapter. But we have also had our share of disagreements as well. Not many, but a few.

During our first disagreement while married, we set a new intention for fighting.

While in the midst of an emotional rant, I found myself ending with “and we’ve only been married for a week and a half!

Though that statement was technically true, once we resolved our fight, Mr. Lively was quick to offer a new perspective.

He suggested that we drop any reference of marriage length while arguing. If something is not right while married, something is not right while married. To him it doesn’t matter if we’ve been married a week and a half, six months, four years, or 22 years. If we had the same argument six years from now it doesn’t make what I was upset about “acceptable” because we were married longer.

So going forward if we get upset we are allowed to get upset from a place of being married. Period. We are as committed to one another now as we will be a dozen years from now. And our arguments should not be weighed against the length of our marriage at any point in time.


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This Post Has 12 Comments

  1. Kylie

    Oooh, I love this so much! That husband of yours is a smartie. (Also love the photo; adorable.) For me, talking about marriage length is a sure ticket to comparison-land and anxiety-ville. I’m totally adopting this rule.

  2. Excellent point, Mr. Lively. You have a good man there, Jess. I can be a bit of a panicker when things don’t seem right and it is so nice to have a partner who can remain rational. It is worth everything. Such a cute picture too!

  3. kelsey

    you guys are awesome. i’m so excited to watch your marriage grow and flourish.

    i will say, there may be no greater feeling than when other people comment on how strong of a marriage you seem to have. someone just told me that yesterday – it’s awesome! hard work pays off. you’ll be great.

  4. Alys

    Very timely advice! My husband and I have been married for a month and while on honeymoon we did say that to each other. Although we’ve only been married for a month we’ve been together for 6 years, it all counts.

  5. Maya Elious

    Haha, this is so funny! Mr. Lively is so right! Kudos to him for some great advice. 🙂

  6. Jamie Prince

    Is there anything you would change knowing where you are now?

    1. No, I don’t think I’d change a thing.

      I’ve loved and learned the past 5 years so much about myself, life, and relationships. I’m grateful these experiences have given me such great wisdom and ability to move forward in love in *and* out of marriage / special relationships overall.

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