needing a little more PT

Sorry for the lapse in posting yesterday. Over the past two days I’ve been caring for Mr. Lively as he got a (minor) surgery on Monday. I’m happy to report that he has recovered very well and will be back to 100% in the next few weeks.

This week I’ve also had a small epiphany and realized that I have something I need to work on personally. I have a tendency to let my focus center on external things like my relationship, work, or MML. And when I find myself to over-emphasizing one of these areas of my life, my happiness and perspective tends to fluctuate with what is happening in that area. Which then leads to a downward spiral of frustration and helplessness because none of those areas of my life are actually meant to be my life’s center.

Letting my well-being bounce with every new development those areas for too long leaves me sea-sick and powerless. My happiness really comes from within and through taking care of myself.

And the truth is, this is nothing ground breaking. Every self-help guru, life coach, and Oprah show says the same thing. There is even that airplane crash analogy with the oxygen mask.

We need to put ourselves first.

I get it.

But I struggle with this frequently nonetheless.

In an effort to keep my focus on my own well-being and power, I’m concentrating on having more Personal Time with myself (which I’ve abbreviated to PT).

For me, PT is about focusing on actions that I do strictly for myself each day that contribute to my overall happiness and self-care. I often forgo these actions when I’m focusing too much on other areas in my life.

Here is the list of PT activities that I intend to choose from daily:

  • Reading
  • Preparing a smoothie or other healthy treat
  • Reading from The Course in Miracles workbook
  • Writing
  • Walking outside
  • Running
  • Lifting weights
  • Reading magazines
  • Bubble baths
  • Praying
  • Meditating
  • Yoga
  • Listening to spiritual teachings
  • Coloring books

My hope is that by making sure I do a few of these actions each day I will be able to regain my center and personal pro-activity.

How do you keep your focus centered?

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  1. Lisa @MindfulBIZ

    I agree. For whatever reason, self-care seems to so easily fall to the bottom of the priority list. I recently did a challenge and unplugged my compter from 3pm to 9am and it was so nice! As much as I love working on my business, I realized I was letting busywork take over my evenings and I wasn’t making time for other stuff I enjoy. I’m feeling much more balanced now. Best wishes for making PT a priority!

  2. Maggie Rose

    Yes, I agree with Lisa – unplugging from computer & phone can be very restorative! I’m also a fan of a long hot shower – helps ease stress and there is nothing to look at or focus on except happy warm water and pretty-smelling soaps. And being a Seattle girl, I love to walk to Starbucks, get a coffee, and take my time walking home, peeking in shop windows and all that. Makes me appreciate my neighborhood and the drink keeps my hands warm!

  3. These are great ideas; just be careful that you don’t always turn your “me” time into “improve me” time, which I tend to do. For example, reading something because it’s good for you instead of because it’s super fun. Watch out for those and give yourself true downtime!

  4. Dawn

    Jess I am having a similar epiphany this week. It seems as the weather has changed so have some of my habits. Without much thought I’ve unsubscribed to a few blogs, turned off my work email so it won’t come to my cell and these two things alone have helped me prioritize my time leaving more time for ME.(woohoo) PT is so underrated! We need it! Thanks for sharing:)

  5. Jennifer

    Wow – thank you for this, Jess! All too often, I wonder why my mood varies so greatly from day to day… Now I can see that it varies according to the advances or setbacks in the different areas of my life; my moods are dependent on external forces – my business, my job hunt, etc. Time to reevaluate!

  6. Marguerite

    YES! Going through that too. And I forgot about my Japanese coloring book! Must get back to that.

  7. Jess

    @ Lisa: Whoa! No computer from 9p to 9a? That is crazy. Crazy insane. Crazy awesome. My hat is off to you, I love this idea. I just realized how much time I spend on the computer during that time, without even thinking about it!

    @ Maggie Rose: walking to coffee is a great idea. I am trying to get out more to work at the coffee shop too!

    @ Virginia: Amen! That is a very good point I need to keep in mind. I already noticed myself doing a bit of the improvement stuff instead of just joy.

    @ Dawn, Jennifer, and Marguerite: It’s great to hear that you all are working on this too!!

  8. cindy

    Exercise!! this is something that has been a priority for me since college. I know that i feel better when i make time for it… I make time for it! busy busy busy is only an excuse…PT is something that must be done (schedule it if you have to) just like doing laundry or eating.
    i know we all loose sit of our priorities which is why its great to read posts like these. you are always calling things out. things that can fly out the window of a busy person.

  9. Hannah

    Oh, Jess, I feel you on this one. Lately, I’ve been feeling so caught up in the lack of results in some areas of my life and this post helped. Because, it’s not about the results, it’s about looking at what effort I’m putting in. If I’m happy with the effort, I can relax and be happy whatever the outcome. If I’m not happy with the effort, no matter what the results are I’m unhappy.
    Exercise, dancing, baths, crafts and baking are all ways I unwind and revel in me time.

  10. Tequila

    This post is right on time for me today, i felt so helpless i laid in bed for hours feeling like a rock, i felt so run down from always shouldering my fiance emotions that i never take time for me.

  11. 17Perth

    I agree completely. Being outside (running, walking, hiking) always refreshes me. This is a great post. I often do the same thing you described above. This is a good reminder of centering yourself which yes, I too, am aware of, but often lose sight of…Thank you for the reminder!

  12. Stacey

    What a great idea….make a “pick and choose” list to fulfill your “me” time for the day! I love this so much! Too often I don’t recognize that I need to take time for myself until it’s too late. Perhaps having a list like this to refer to will help get the process started…

    Thanks for the insightful post!

  13. Carla

    I’d say to add in watching TV. I’m all about unplugging & I barely watch television but it is a lovely way to just let yourself rest. Cuddle up on the couch & watch something completely selfish. In my personal life, I’ve recently started taking one night a week to myself. My hubby walks in & is on dad duty while I recharge my batteries at the movies or Barnes & Noble or cocktails with friends. It’s my personal time a few hours a week & I come back to my job as mom & wife with a fresh & reenergized heart. Maybe that would be good to do business-wise, too? I love your self-awareness!

  14. Kelly

    Totally agree with this! I have gotten better over the years at carving out PT, but I think I need to make it a bit more of a conscious habit. I like to go for walks, get a skinny latte, take a bath, read magazines, watch an TV episode, or write in my journal. I think I’m going to make my own PT list : )

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