other things i’m afraid to tell you

Over the weekend I thought about this new wave of truth that’s spreading online and I think there a few other personal boundaries that I’d like to smash.

Though I thought I shared most of my personal hang ups in my first Things I’m Afraid to Tell You post, there are other things that I’m also afraid to talk too much about for fear of judgement. I think on some level, I feel like if people really knew these other things that might not be “politically correct” some people will stop reading MML (or try to convince me to change).

These things don’t have any real bearing on my purpose: to help people design lives with intention. But I think I’m afraid that if people don’t agree 100% with my personal choices or beliefs that they will stop reading and think I’m a bad person.

However, since I personally encourage everyone to design to their own intentions for their own lives, I should feel comfortable sharing my intentions without being so scared of the condemnation I might face.

Okay, here it goes.

I eat meat.

Though I haven’t done anything to really hide this fact on MML, I do sometimes feel a pressure from reading blogs that I should be eating paleo, vegan, vegetarian, sans-carbs, you name it.

But the truth is that I am more “flexitarian” than anything. I love a good burger when going out with sweet potato fries, buffalo wings are great, and tofu is my go-to protein when I order thai. I don’t believe in diets for myself (not anymore), but I feel like there are a lot of “shoulds” out there in blog land (or in the media at large) that want to make me eat differently.

And though I could imagine myself becoming vegan or vegetarian in the future, at this moment, I am not.

I want to get our puppy from a breeder.

This is another thing I’ve been shamefully hiding because I think a lot of people have judgements about this choice. The truth is that I’ve actually been a volunteer at a local rescue myself, so I am definitely fully informed about the amazing-ness of rescues. And in the future, Mr. Lively and I do plan on rescuing dogs. However, for my first dog, I have had my heart on a Westie puppy since I graduated high school.

Having done my research, I know that the odds are extremely small of finding a Westie puppy in a rescue. So unless the Westie Rescue in our area happens to have one when we move, I will likely use a breeder to find our little guy or girl. As you can imagine, I’ve done everything possible to research the very best of the best breeders so I am sure not to support the horrible things that can go on in the industry. But overall, I think caring breeders are good people.


Phew. I’m glad I got that stuff off my chest.

I know you might be thinking, wait, that’s all you have to share? But to me, those things have been weighing on my heart. I’ve felt ashamed. And though I don’t have to mention them or make them a big deal, I think it’s important for transparency because they felt like a big deal to me.

If I want to make any impact on this blog world at all, I want to show that it’s okay for people to be themselves and not have to feel like they need to hide things out of fear.

And in order to do that, I need to walk the walk.

Thank you for reading.

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. CB

    Way to go, Jess! I continue to appreciate your honesty and find it very refreshing. I can’t imagine people would label you a “bad person” for these kinds of things. I mean, we all have our differences and that is even something that makes conversation interesting. We can agree when we want and disagree when we want, but we shouldn’t start condemning people just because they view a situation differently – that would just be destructive. Personally, because you are honest, I find myself even MORE excited to read your blog – and I bet a lot of other people feel that way, too (in fact, that is evident based on the massive reaction to the “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” movement).

    Plus, the way I look at it, I learn from you if I agree and I learn from you if I disagree, so it’s a win-win all around and I still think you are a simply wonderful, awesome person that I am so lucky to have in my life!

  2. Dani

    Oh, love! Westies are just the sweetest pups, aren’t they? I had also been wanting one since childhood (my family had 2 growing up), and as soon as my husband and I moved to an apartment that allowed pets… a Westie was first on our list! Now, our little “Lady” is the light of our life. We also got her at a breeder, here in Virginia. Found the advertisement in the paper and she’s just perfect! I’m so excited for you to get a Westie, too.

    P.S. I love me a good burger. 🙂

  3. Such a nice post! I agree, we are reaching information overload, and sometimes all those well-intentioned opinions and ideas can start to sound very judge-y and make one feel bad about personal decisions. I love your meat-eating revelation because I proudly eat meat as well and have no intention of cutting it out. It’s so unfortunate that people subtly condemn others for their life choices. Kudos to you for not being ashamed to express yourself in a very approachable and realistic manner!

    I adore reading your blog!

  4. I’m new to your site, but appreciate both this and the other story as a great testament to transparency! Be who you are! You’ve grown to such a great success being you, even if there are things you’re afraid to say! Thanks for your message!

  5. Kate

    I know, meat is all crazy weird and looked at funny because of all this ‘green’ stuff. But know that a paleo diet is (can be) pretty meat intensive.

    As for a good breeder…I don’t know what your qualifications are, but coming from some one who has fostered 11 shelter dogs with many many human-induced behavior issues (and owns an additional 2!), I can understand looking forward to a puppy from a breeder. I want a Boston Terrier one day and likely will go to a breeder. Unsolicited feedback, I know, but….a good breeder will health test for genetic issues, feed a high quality diet, their dogs will have placed in shows and they are breeding to better the breed. No more than one litter a year, typically.

    I know your quest for a puppy will bring you the cutest ball of joy no matter where they come from, but myself personally, I would be beyond humbled if you supported a high quality breeder. Good luck in your search!

  6. I love this series. This is something we should all embrace on our blogs. I feel the same way about my meat eating. Sometimes I try not to mention it or feel guilty that I do, but the bottom line is, I shouldn’t because I don’t eat it often anyway and when I do, I generally make smart (for me decisions in choosing local, organic).

    This also reminds me of katywidrick.com ‘s “Sorry, I’m not Sorry” post.

  7. Molly

    I love that you unintentionally sparked a revolution!
    So inspiring.

    Thank you for your honesty and transparency.

  8. Living with intention-I intended to eat “better” today than I did yesterday. The sad truth is that the burger I had from Wendy’s today was better (SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better) than the one I had yesterday from McDs. I have so much shame about this that I can’t even bring myself to type out the entire golden arches name.
    Mindful, present, transparent. I cannot clap any louder.

  9. I am so inspired after all of your posts to do a post on my fears. Hopefully with finals I can squeeze it in my blog this week. I love your blog and the idea of living with intention that you have created.

    Thanks for all you do.

  10. Flavia

    Great post, Jess. I really appreciate you writing these and you have inspired me to start thinking about my own list of “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You” blog post. There is such a pervasive sense of perfectionism on blogs these days and I think it’s contributing to making many people feel less than adequate in so many areas of their lives. Posts like yours demonstrate it is OK to carry insecurities and personal fears and/or anxieties and to speak openly about them. I think it is imperative for bloggers to be transparent and talk more openly about the fact that what people see on blogs (perfectly styled pictures, perfectly posed photo subjects, seemingly perfect vacations, events, etc.) are just a small, edited part of someone’s imperfect life. Well done!

  11. Jess

    Thank you all, so, so, so much for your wonderful support! I felt a little like I was doing a “trust fall” exercise writing this and I’m so happy to be “caught” by you all! : )

  12. Fantastic! My family and I have a Westie named Chardonnay! We got him from a breeder in Oregon, and he’s still going strong at 16.5 years old. We love him to death, such a sweetie and so cute! You will love yours! I wanted to comment the last time you mentioned getting one, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want to hear how we got him from a breeder! Here are a few pictures of him over the years: http://www.flickr.com/photos/picatoria/tags/chardy/

Leave a Reply