Thanks everyone for sticking with me on this journey.Â It’s funny but when I get ready to write these posts I think to myself:Â What should I write about this week?Â What will people like to read about? (I’m a chronic people pleaser!)Â And then after a few minutes, I realize that all I need to write about is what I’m experiencing – whether good or bad, exciting or dull, this is what my journey looks like and I want to make sure I’m honest about it.
So this week has been the culmination, I think, of the past 6 months or so.Â Like I said last week, trying to reach my dream of having my own store has been such a roller coaster of emotions for me.Â Not to mention that it takes up a lot of time.Â As in A. LOT. OF. TIME!Â Of course I knew going in that starting my own business would take a lot of extra time…but I don’t think I realized how tiring it could be especially while working full time at a job I dislike tremendously!Â And really how little time that I have for myself and my family now.
The past 6 months have been the same routine:Â alarm goes off, I play the mental “should I call off today” game, finally drag my complaining self out of bed, go to work and try desperately to get some work done on my store wishing I was anywhere but at work, come home and spend hours working on my blog and store, repeat as needed – which has become everyday and on the weekends!Â And this hasn’t left much time for my husband, my dogs, my friends, my house…or myself.Â And I think I’m angering the stress monster that lives inside of me!
This week has been a great example.Â I could tell that the stress of working non-stop was starting to get to me.Â So with the long weekend ahead of me, I thought I’d make it even longer by taking Friday off….ahh, a 4 day weekend! Think of all the things I can accomplish!Â I, of course, set superwoman sized goals for myself and then finally crashed from exhaustion and stress by Sunday as I realized I’d hardly accomplished anything and I felt like I’d never get caught up.Â Cue the stress monster!Â It all boiled up and with tears in my eyes, I wondered if I should just give up.Â Were all the doubts in my head trying to tell me something?Â Am I going to fail miserably at this?Â How am I going to have the time to do this?
This is when it took all the strength I had to put those thoughts aside and let myself take a much needed break.Â So I took Sunday & Monday off and got a chance to relax, read, hang out with my husband and friends.Â But then of course the other monster came out…guilt.
Guilt is so useless – I know this.Â But it’s there.Â Especially now that I’ve committed myself to starting this store.Â Any moment or second that I have, I feel like I should be working on the business.Â So this only leaves time for 2 things:Â working on the business or stressing over and feeling guilty about the fact that I’m not working on the business.Â And can I just tell you guys how tiring that is!Â I know I deserve some time off or breaks now and then.Â But I’m not sure how to actually take them without feeling stressed or guilty.Â Especially when taking those 2 days off put me behind my schedule and now I feel like a crazy woman trying to do the impossible!
This then brings up something that’s been on my mind for a long time…what comes first, the chicken or the egg?Â Okay, that’s not really what’s on my mind but it’s similar…how do I start a business while working fulltime?Â Yet working fulltime provides income that I won’t have until I start the business and possibly after.Â So what comes first?!
I remember reading a post of Jess’ awhile ago – and it has stuck with me ever since.Â It was her post titled ‘No Plan B‘ and it has made me wonder, ever since, what it would be like to not have a Plan B.Â To not have the safety of a paycheck.Â To have the chance to throw myself 100%, full-force into my business, my passion, day in and day out.Â Not having to split my time between work I dread, that saps my energy and work that I have passion but no time for.Â Would this be the push I need – I can imagine how freeing it would feel!Â But would the reality of not having a paycheck be too hard?Â I have to say there’s a HUGE part of me that wants to take that leap and just quit.Â Yet the practical side of me (along with our budget!) shouts “No, don’t do it”!Â Â And that brings me back full circle – how do I start my store while working full time?
Here’s what I’ve decided to do.Â It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s a step in the right direction.Â I think it helps take care of both the practical side and the “let’s just quit” side of me.Â I’ve set my store grand opening date.Â I figure it would be best to at least have the possibility of income coming in before I quit my job, right? Having an actual online store would probably help with that!Â Once I set that date, I started working backwards with what needs to be done and how long each step will take to make sure the opening date works.
And then, here’s the best part – I set my “quit date”!!Â Although this is a bit of a mental game, I can’t tell you how fun it is to look at a calendar and see in big letters “PUT MY NOTICE IN AT WORK” – it’s like a dream (almost) come true!
So now instead of being a vague statement “I’m opening an online store sometime”, I can say “I’m launching the store in 3 months”!!Â It feels completely scary (yet freeing and exciting at the same time) to announce this…but here’s hoping that on October 4th I can say….”My store’s opening today”!!Â (I’m shooting for September 1st, but that’s coming up faster than I thought!!)
Which means I have a lot to do before October!Â And honestly I’m still overwhelmed (I have yet to quiet the stress monster!) with all that needs to be done.Â But I’m hoping that having a deadline and a goal will keep me focused.Â And by sharing them with you guys, it’s keeping me accountable.Â So, here are my goals for the next week:
â— Narrow down product lines and send “catalog” to consultant (this feels impossible, btw.Â I love all the products!!)
â— Set up next appointment with consultant to get her opinion on product mix
I would love to know your thoughts – how do you manage working full time, starting a business & family time?