stress fighting


Over the weekend Mr. Lively and I were frantically finishing the apartment for both our extended families which are coming into town this week to celebrate our elopement. People start arriving tomorrow (so things will be light on the blog over the next few days).

With Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, a cocktail party on Friday, and a nice dinner downtown on Saturday, we have a lot to prepare for beyond the decor as well.

While we have been pretty good at avoiding conflict over the last few weeks, even with the stress of learning to raise a young puppy… this weekend things hit the fan. A non-stop list of to-dos and little sleep, thanks to Franklin’s 3am and 6am potty breaks, made us two cranky campers.

I had three separate meltdowns directed at Mr. Lively yesterday alone. And the truth is that though disagreements were bound to pop up here and there, the degree to which I was upset was unwarranted.

And the ironic part? We are stressing out at each other in preparation for events which are meant to celebrate our love and union. 

So as I went for my morning run today I was setting an intention to be nicer and less argumentative with Mr. Lively this week. But knowing that we are already this tired going into the festivities has me a bit worried. How am I going to cope better when things are about to get even more challenging?

The answer turned out to be simple. I need to make time for my spirituality.

Over the past few weeks since getting Franklin my morning routine of reading from A Course in Miracles for a little bit and meditating/praying has taken the backseat to (very) early morning potty breaks for the little guy.

And in general we have been so worn out due to his erratic sleeping schedule that I don’t get around to my morning reading and reflecting. I’m simply getting by and trying to give him attention in between his naps while I’m getting ready for the day or doing work.

Beyond my running routine, my spiritual time helps me cope with difficulty more than anything else. So it’s time that I make that a priority again, this week especially. No matter how tired I am, I need to make sure I keep the intention to reflect internally in order to start my day in a positive direction. I’m also more likely after my morning time to talk to the Universe about the troubles as they occur, rather than snapping at Mr. Lively.

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr:

“I have so much to do today that I had better spend another hour on my knees.” 


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  1. Sorry to hear about the stress fighting. I (and probably most people) have a tendency to do the same thing. Raising a puppy is really tough, but totally worth it. I hope you enjoy the holiday and celebrations with your families this week. Congratulations again and try not to stress too much; everything will turn out great!

  2. Emily Harden

    That quote from Dr. King is phenomenal. I’m so moved. Have a wonderful week celebrating all that is great in this world! Friends, family, love, and joy.

    Happiest of Thanksgivings to you, Jess Lively.

  3. Lemon Drop Love

    I can totally relate to this! I forget sometimes how important it is to take time for myself every day. Some days i do and others i don’t (depending on how crazy it is). Getting into a routine is something I need to make a priority.

    You will do great this week and I can’t wait to hear how the celebration goes!!

  4. Maggie Rose

    I have a tendency to get snappish when I’m stressed, tired, or hungry. Add the holidays, family, and (in your case) wedding stuff and a puppy… well, I can’t say I’m surprised! It helps me to take a deep breath, apologize right away while things are still getting heated, and say “I’m sorry, it’s not me talking, it’s the stress. I love you, but I’m really frustrated right now.” A nice long hug helps too, and that usually dissolves the fight. But sometimes my “deep breath” takes like five minutes 😉

  5. AdeOla

    I hope you are able to relax and have a wonderful thanksgiving and wedding celebration.

  6. Maggie B

    Oh no! =( I was positively waspish when I’ve had little sleep and am feeling stressed. My husband is usually the person I tend to scream at too, which isn’t ideal. Luckily for me, he understands it’s the stress screaming and not really his mostly charming wife.

    And my spiritual practices take SUCH a back seat when I’m busy, or when the holidays come around, or when I just forget…. I think I need to re-read some of my favorite books and get back into the habit.

    I hope you feel less stressed soon!

  7. Annie Kip

    Oh Jess, I can so relate to this post. I tend to handle things, and handle things, and handle things – and then…not handle things in a BIG way. My poor beau and kids know the look on my face when things are getting to be too much. I aim to catch myself sooner and get myself some self-care before I am depleted. Luckily, I am surrounded by forgiving, sweet humans who are always up for a hug when I need it.

  8. Marion

    What a great insight…and one I had just come back to also this week. That taking the time to set my day by connecting to spirit.

    I’d also add – that what’s looming in your mind right now about the imbalance and stress – won’t be what you remember about the three days you have planned with your family. It WILL be their love, the time together, and the way you and Mr. Lively cared and worked to pull it together…and not the meltdowns. I know I can’t remember these things about getting ready to host my my family three weeks after I moved into my first house…and I’m SURE there was probably bone tired weariness and stress and tension to get the place and ourselves ready…and I don’t remember any of that…just that we were still hanging pictures 30 minutes before people arrived and the profound satisfaction and the happy pictures…from almost 20 years ago now.

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