the seed and the shell

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Throughout our lives we encounter difficult situations.

In order to survive those challenging times, we often create a defense mechanism to help us cope, thrive, or survive – depending on the intensity of the circumstances.

If our siblings got into a lot of trouble growing up, we might have decided to “do everything on our own” and be extra independent, so that we didn’t become an extra burden to our parents.

If a relationship that grew organically over time didn’t lead to a lifelong commitment, we might be very selective and focused on the long-term potential with our next partner.

These actions are all stem from a good source.

They are seeds of truth that do help us go through challenging situations.

However, over time, our lives change.

We grow. We evolve. And we often move past the initial seed-born circumstance.

Yet quite often, we take those seeds with us to the next chapter of our lives as well.

Now that the seed and its scripting is deeply ingrained in our psyche, it becomes an automatic response.

When applied over and over again in new situations, the seed that once served our best interests, begins to form a hard shell that blocks us from connecting with others.

We might have trouble receiving help or support from others, even when we need it most. Or we might be overly pushy a new relationship.

Our hard exterior stops us from growing, or even healing those initial wounds.

I believe that the seeds in our lives which help us through difficult times, are later meant to help us receive the love we were once denied. 

Rather than harden into a shell that blocks love out, I believe the seed is meant to blossom.

This is what allows us to grow and evolve as people. To become our fullest potential. To heal the cracks that come from living in an imperfect world.

The challenge is to recognize when a seed is being used as a hard shell, and when it is meant to become a flower.


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    1. I think the question to ask yourself is: Is this seed bringing me closer or further from love?

  1. Caitlin Brown

    You already know I love this. Acknowledging this is helping me to spot when my feelings or actions are being dictated by my “shell” rather than the “seed.” Such an important lesson to learn!

    1. True! And not always easy to see in yourself. But I have faith that you are going to turn that seed into a flower, lady!!

  2. Sarah van Loon

    Holy crap. I was having a very similar conversation with someone today about feeling like sometimes I ‘harden’ or block out love, and was referencing past events. So insane that today’s post is about this very topic! You are always spot on, Jess. Wow!

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