things I’m afraid to tell you

Though I like to think I’m pretty much an open book online, there are things about me that I hide for fear of rejection or judgement. This is silly to my logical brain, my experience has shown that the more we are real online, the more people can connect and care about us as humans on the other side of the computer screen.

But my emotional, fearful mind freaks when I think about sharing some things in my life.

So today I’d like to push that fear back – a little bit or a lot – I don’t care. I just want to see what it feels like to really push past my own self-imposed boundaries and share my thoughts that don’t often grace MML.

[Deep breath.]

Here it goes:

  • Yesterday after a tense customer service call, I cried in front of my assistant and new intern. (Not the “ugly cry,” but pretty close.)
  • Mr. Lively and I try to count our drinks per week and limit them to 14 per week total. (Sometimes we are under, sometimes we are over.)
  • I have PCOS, so I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to have kids. (This has made me pretty rigid in terms of dating and relationships, more than I’d like to admit.)
  • I have been jealous of married friends who have businesses. (I sometimes wish I could supplement my income with a spouse’s paycheck.)
  • I have been worried about getting seriously injured because of my self-employed health insurance. (My deductible is high and not that awesome. Luckily I’ve been blessed these past five years, knock on wood.)
  • My bank has declined a recent business credit line increase. (So I paid for inventory with my personal savings.)
  • I watch Joyce Meyer’s TV show everyday even though I’m not Christian. And I’m sometimes afraid if I mention her too much here, it will come off as preachy on MML. (So I call her Mrs. Meyers now half as a term of endearment, and half so people won’t think I’m pushing a Christian agenda.)
  • I get jealous when I see the extensive wardrobes of some of my fashionable friends. (I know money isn’t everything. But sometimes I actively ignore that fact.)
  • I’m terrible with names. I’ve reintroduced myself to people I’ve met before. Many times. (I wish I was better at this, but I’m sure I’ll do it again.)

Thanks for listening. Though I don’t know what the fallout from sharing these facts will be, I’m hoping that it’s not as bad as I’ve always feared.

This Post Has 358 Comments

  1. Katie

    No fallout here! That’s just a whole bunch of what we call “being human” – thanks for opening up, Jess! (And I totally know the *gulp* feeling that comes with a post like that…shared my own yesterday).

  2. Katie

    No fallout here! That’s just a whole bunch of what we call “being human” – thanks for opening up, Jess! (And I totally know the *gulp* feeling that comes with a post like that…shared my own yesterday).

  3. Sue

    I think we all have fears and foibles like this, so I hope you don’t get any bad fall out from it. I’m often have moments of jealousy over friends on fb that have gone the traditional marriage and kids route when really, I can still hope that my turn will come and spend the interim travelling the world.

  4. Sue

    I think we all have fears and foibles like this, so I hope you don’t get any bad fall out from it. I’m often have moments of jealousy over friends on fb that have gone the traditional marriage and kids route when really, I can still hope that my turn will come and spend the interim travelling the world.

  5. Kate

    I love this post! It makes me think about the things I choose to keep off of my own blog. This might inspire a blog post!

  6. Kate

    I love this post! It makes me think about the things I choose to keep off of my own blog. This might inspire a blog post!

  7. It’s so great that you were brave enough to put all of this out there. I have yet to get incredibly personable on my blog, so I can appreciate the hesitation I’m sure you felt while posting this. Cheers for bravery!

  8. It’s so great that you were brave enough to put all of this out there. I have yet to get incredibly personable on my blog, so I can appreciate the hesitation I’m sure you felt while posting this. Cheers for bravery!

  9. Blair

    Jess! You have no idea how often I consider (and then always shy away) from sharing my flaws, quirks or secrets this way on my blog. It is inspiring, as you always are! It shows you are a real person, like you said, not just a computer generating strings of words, pretty pictures and inspiring quotes!

  10. Blair

    Jess! You have no idea how often I consider (and then always shy away) from sharing my flaws, quirks or secrets this way on my blog. It is inspiring, as you always are! It shows you are a real person, like you said, not just a computer generating strings of words, pretty pictures and inspiring quotes!

  11. Thank you Jess for opening up and sharing like this. This might be a perfect kick off for me to do the same on my blog. I share a few of those above topics with you so hang in there you are not alone.

    By the way I am in love with your blog! You are a very inspiring person.

  12. Thank you Jess for opening up and sharing like this. This might be a perfect kick off for me to do the same on my blog. I share a few of those above topics with you so hang in there you are not alone.

    By the way I am in love with your blog! You are a very inspiring person.

  13. KtMac

    I’ve been a long-time reader (and shy about commenting), but I have to thank you for being so open and honest and posts like these make me feel like you’re a real person (and one I’d love to know!). And that helps me read your blog as a conversation between friends with advice I’d listen to instead of as a “preachy” advice blog. So, it’s a good thing!! No judgement here….we all have our areas where we’re worried.

  14. KtMac

    I’ve been a long-time reader (and shy about commenting), but I have to thank you for being so open and honest and posts like these make me feel like you’re a real person (and one I’d love to know!). And that helps me read your blog as a conversation between friends with advice I’d listen to instead of as a “preachy” advice blog. So, it’s a good thing!! No judgement here….we all have our areas where we’re worried.

  15. Kelly P

    I love it when bloggers show a side that isn’t glossy. There isn’t a thing wrong with anything you shared. You’re normal and you’re not perfect. Awesome. If it makes you feel better I did the ugly cry in front of a really mean client. It was my first job out of college and I was young and inexperienced. Someone else screwed up, but I happened to be on the jobsite that day and the client reemed (reamed?) me out. Badly. I tried to hold it together. No dice. His partner later told me he has made many of his co-workers cry before. Meanie.

    Thanks for a great post!

  16. Kelly P

    I love it when bloggers show a side that isn’t glossy. There isn’t a thing wrong with anything you shared. You’re normal and you’re not perfect. Awesome. If it makes you feel better I did the ugly cry in front of a really mean client. It was my first job out of college and I was young and inexperienced. Someone else screwed up, but I happened to be on the jobsite that day and the client reemed (reamed?) me out. Badly. I tried to hold it together. No dice. His partner later told me he has made many of his co-workers cry before. Meanie.

    Thanks for a great post!

  17. Bettina

    I am new to your blog and reading all of this made me like it even more! You are such an honest person, it’s nice to see that you’re so honest with your readers. Love it, makes me feel like I can let go because we all feel these same things.

  18. Bettina

    I am new to your blog and reading all of this made me like it even more! You are such an honest person, it’s nice to see that you’re so honest with your readers. Love it, makes me feel like I can let go because we all feel these same things.

  19. Natasha

    Funnily enough, I thought you were Christian because of the Joyce Meyers inspiration… never really bothered me though. I feel you on the PCOS front too!
    You’ve inspired me to be a little bit less “glossy shopfront” in my relationships – I was having dinner with my girls a couple of weeks ago and they were talking about me being blissfully happy… I had to laugh. I’m tearing my hair out with stress about our upcoming wedding, upset about my terminally ill mother, exhausted from my overwhelming workload in my day job and my additional weekend hustle. I just don’t post about it on Facebook, apparently.

  20. Natasha

    Funnily enough, I thought you were Christian because of the Joyce Meyers inspiration… never really bothered me though. I feel you on the PCOS front too!
    You’ve inspired me to be a little bit less “glossy shopfront” in my relationships – I was having dinner with my girls a couple of weeks ago and they were talking about me being blissfully happy… I had to laugh. I’m tearing my hair out with stress about our upcoming wedding, upset about my terminally ill mother, exhausted from my overwhelming workload in my day job and my additional weekend hustle. I just don’t post about it on Facebook, apparently.

  21. If anything, Jess, this only makes you more endearing.

    This one I can particularly relate to: “I have been jealous of married friends who have businesses. (I sometimes wish I could supplement my income with a spouse’s paycheck.)”

    My boyfriend is the business owning, dream pursuing entrepreneur right now and I toil at a really dissatisfying, stressful (as in several of my coworkers have major life threatening health issues from the stress) job and wonder if we’ll ever “get there” or be able to move forward – live together, get married, etc. – or if I’ll ever be able to pursue MY dreams as something more than a midnight hustle. It’s tough. I definitely feel the jealousy today more than ever. My good friend and coworker is leaving to be a stay at home mom and pursue her own business because her husband can support them. I feel like I’ll never have that option and it makes me sad, and I’m trying not to let that show to my friend … who I’m truly happy for!!

    That comment wasn’t supposed to somehow become about me, I swear. I love that you shared, and I love how real you are. You are an inspirational woman, “scary things” and all!

  22. If anything, Jess, this only makes you more endearing.

    This one I can particularly relate to: “I have been jealous of married friends who have businesses. (I sometimes wish I could supplement my income with a spouse’s paycheck.)”

    My boyfriend is the business owning, dream pursuing entrepreneur right now and I toil at a really dissatisfying, stressful (as in several of my coworkers have major life threatening health issues from the stress) job and wonder if we’ll ever “get there” or be able to move forward – live together, get married, etc. – or if I’ll ever be able to pursue MY dreams as something more than a midnight hustle. It’s tough. I definitely feel the jealousy today more than ever. My good friend and coworker is leaving to be a stay at home mom and pursue her own business because her husband can support them. I feel like I’ll never have that option and it makes me sad, and I’m trying not to let that show to my friend … who I’m truly happy for!!

    That comment wasn’t supposed to somehow become about me, I swear. I love that you shared, and I love how real you are. You are an inspirational woman, “scary things” and all!

  23. Helena

    Oh, Jess, I’m so sorry about the PCOS. That sucks. Sorry if that sounds very un-cheery, but I will keep my fingers crossed for you in terms of kids (when that time comes… sorry if that sounds mega-creepy).

    I love that you count your drinks – I try to do the same!

    We all get jealous… the trick is turning it into personal inspiration before the green-eyed monster makes you crazy!

    I can be terrible with names… and I have red hair so people tend to remember me (and it makes me feel like a terrible mess).

  24. David

    This is the second time in the past two months that your honesty has been refreshing, and inspirational. As a dude, by design we’re not really good at sharing and being open. But as a human, I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to feel, and find ways to connect with other people, so I try really hard to overcome my man-programming, especially to set a good example for my son.

    I know a lot of those fears and frustrations are temporary, and from what I can tell, you’ve got a ton of support around these parts to help you through it. For some of your larger fears, I’m really pulling for you and, as one human to another, I hope you find what you need, get what you want, and enjoy as rich of a life as you make for those around you.

  25. Jess, it is totally ok to be a real person. We all have our insecurities and get a little bit jealous every once in awhile. Life is never perfect for anyone, and it’s so great of you to remind us that even as wonderfully put together as you are online, you still have your fair share of struggles. I think a lot of us out here who are reading your blog are inspired by your bravery, your success, and your ability to be yourself. Big hugs! We don’t expect you to be anyone other than your real self.

    xoxo,
    JL

  26. Jess, it is totally ok to be a real person. We all have our insecurities and get a little bit jealous every once in awhile. Life is never perfect for anyone, and it’s so great of you to remind us that even as wonderfully put together as you are online, you still have your fair share of struggles. I think a lot of us out here who are reading your blog are inspired by your bravery, your success, and your ability to be yourself. Big hugs! We don’t expect you to be anyone other than your real self.

    xoxo,
    JL

  27. bethany

    Jess, thank you for being so open and vulnerable about these things. It’s actually sharing things like this that make your readers respect you more, not less as your fear would have you believe. I’m learning this too as I branch out in my own blog and writing endeavors. You’ll never know what’s behind the door unless you open it, right? Looks like from these comments you’ve opened that door for all of us to be a little more truthful and transparent. I so appreciate your heart.

    Blessings. <3

  28. We have so much in common Jess!
    Writing about big fears, making it public and let ppl comment on them is a very good way to recognize: you are not alone with your big fears.

    For example:
    – I am so very terrible with names AND faces. I did not even recognize my own classmate on Facebook. (Okay, 2 month after school started.)
    – I am 36, and still jealous of every friend who are married (I just broke up half a year ago) AND can manage their business, life etc.
    – I have hyperinsulinemia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperinsulinemia) that can result in PCOS. I also face the risk not being able to have a child, but with diet and working out I can manage this thing. (hopefully)
    – I am also putting all my savings (and my father’s savings) into my business. But I cannot imagine not doing it, since this is the thing I want to do, nothing else.

    So we can make a club now 🙂

    Love from Hungary

  29. We have so much in common Jess!
    Writing about big fears, making it public and let ppl comment on them is a very good way to recognize: you are not alone with your big fears.

    For example:
    – I am so very terrible with names AND faces. I did not even recognize my own classmate on Facebook. (Okay, 2 month after school started.)
    – I am 36, and still jealous of every friend who are married (I just broke up half a year ago) AND can manage their business, life etc.
    – I have hyperinsulinemia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperinsulinemia) that can result in PCOS. I also face the risk not being able to have a child, but with diet and working out I can manage this thing. (hopefully)
    – I am also putting all my savings (and my father’s savings) into my business. But I cannot imagine not doing it, since this is the thing I want to do, nothing else.

    So we can make a club now 🙂

    Love from Hungary

  30. Cathy

    Hi Jess! Thanks for being honest. I don’t like crying in front of friends or family, so having an ugly cry (or two or three) at my old job was the worst.

    And I’m also struggling with being jealous of others’ success. That’s a whole can of worms that I try not to dwell on.

  31. Cathy

    Hi Jess! Thanks for being honest. I don’t like crying in front of friends or family, so having an ugly cry (or two or three) at my old job was the worst.

    And I’m also struggling with being jealous of others’ success. That’s a whole can of worms that I try not to dwell on.

  32. Kate

    Jess you are normal! Big smile and BIG BIG hug!! It must have been stressful to hit ‘publish’. I can relate. When I do blog, I wrap painful messages in humor, but to share them directly take courage. Take a moment to admire that, in light of these fears 🙂

  33. Kate

    Jess you are normal! Big smile and BIG BIG hug!! It must have been stressful to hit ‘publish’. I can relate. When I do blog, I wrap painful messages in humor, but to share them directly take courage. Take a moment to admire that, in light of these fears 🙂

  34. Addison

    I think it takes a lot of courage to open up like this, very inspiring. You’re definitely not alone. I struggle with the jealous feelings quite often. As a single woman with a mortgage, who is miserable in her job, I don’t have any flexibility in relying on a spouses income to leave and find another line of work. It just means I need to work harder to reach my dreams of quitting my Corporate job and changing my life story. To be honest, the struggle has made me a much stronger person. Thanks for being a daily source of inspiration for me.

  35. Addison

    I think it takes a lot of courage to open up like this, very inspiring. You’re definitely not alone. I struggle with the jealous feelings quite often. As a single woman with a mortgage, who is miserable in her job, I don’t have any flexibility in relying on a spouses income to leave and find another line of work. It just means I need to work harder to reach my dreams of quitting my Corporate job and changing my life story. To be honest, the struggle has made me a much stronger person. Thanks for being a daily source of inspiration for me.

  36. Elena

    Loved this post. No fall-out! 🙂 With you on the drink-counting and the occasional jealousy—especially as a fairly new single person who was planning a life on 2 incomes. Ergh. & I’m also terrible with names!

  37. Elena

    Loved this post. No fall-out! 🙂 With you on the drink-counting and the occasional jealousy—especially as a fairly new single person who was planning a life on 2 incomes. Ergh. & I’m also terrible with names!

  38. Jillian

    Thanks for being brave and sharing a part of yourself here on a daily basis. I’m such a perfectionist that I never comment because I am afraid the comment might not be just right or worded in a crafty way. I’m working on it… Your blog is inspiring and your recent efforts to break through the glossy barrier of the internet are great.

  39. Jillian

    Thanks for being brave and sharing a part of yourself here on a daily basis. I’m such a perfectionist that I never comment because I am afraid the comment might not be just right or worded in a crafty way. I’m working on it… Your blog is inspiring and your recent efforts to break through the glossy barrier of the internet are great.

  40. Nicole

    I started reading your blog a couple of months ago after finding Jess LC while doing some research online (my husband and I are turning our Etsy shop into a bigger business). Since then, I’ve found myself saying on more than one occassion “Jess did a post today on __________ that I found really helpful” or “Jess is doing workshops. We should enroll.”

    The type of posts you do everyday are motivational and helpful. This post has the added benefit of being comforting because so many of us–bloggers or not–can relate. My blog started and still includes a lot about my personal life but, strangely enough, I am just as afraid to share as you are. I don’t care too much which strangers read it, but I was afraid for years to tell the people I have to face everyday (besides my parents, sister and best friend) that I blog about my life. No judgment here; just respect for the courage to be honest…and a little courage to share more. Thanks Jess!

  41. Susan

    This post makes me like you so much. I mean, I already did, but I really like this post. First, doing something you are afraid of, regardless what it is, is really brave. Second, I can definitely identify with several of the things on this list.

    I’m also terrible with names, and as a graduate student, my salary and health insurance are both not so great. I worry about my finances and what might happen if I run into medical problems. I get jealous when I see other people who have “real jobs” and “real lives.” Grad school takes so long, it can start to feel like a pause button for life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at your “Start where you are and just keep going” desktop background. It always gives me a nice little kick in the pants when I start to feel like my “real life” won’t ever get here.

    So maybe that got a little off topic… but the point is I think this was a great post. Also, counting drinks seems like a totally reasonable thing to do and I might try it myself. 🙂

  42. Susan

    This post makes me like you so much. I mean, I already did, but I really like this post. First, doing something you are afraid of, regardless what it is, is really brave. Second, I can definitely identify with several of the things on this list.

    I’m also terrible with names, and as a graduate student, my salary and health insurance are both not so great. I worry about my finances and what might happen if I run into medical problems. I get jealous when I see other people who have “real jobs” and “real lives.” Grad school takes so long, it can start to feel like a pause button for life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at your “Start where you are and just keep going” desktop background. It always gives me a nice little kick in the pants when I start to feel like my “real life” won’t ever get here.

    So maybe that got a little off topic… but the point is I think this was a great post. Also, counting drinks seems like a totally reasonable thing to do and I might try it myself. 🙂

  43. This is why you are an inspiration to so many people. It’s not perfection that makes you so, it’s the insight you have for yourself and your life, and your willingness to share and be honest. Not a thing wrong with any of those truths.

  44. Jen

    I absolutely love this especially because I feel like I get so much great advice and inspiration from your blog and yet it’s so wonderful to see this human side that is a great reminder that everyone has things to deal with that most people don’t see.

  45. Jen

    I absolutely love this especially because I feel like I get so much great advice and inspiration from your blog and yet it’s so wonderful to see this human side that is a great reminder that everyone has things to deal with that most people don’t see.

  46. SJM

    This is a great example of how many things we all hold closely to ourselves – things that are on your mind, holding you down, all the time!

    I hope that sharing brings you a little freedom. Like everyone else, it’s a relief to hear the “dark” side and it is a bonding experience!

    And just a side note – I’m jealous of YOUR outfits and wardrobe! I can only imagine the awesome other outfits you’re checking out if that’s how you feel!

  47. SJM

    This is a great example of how many things we all hold closely to ourselves – things that are on your mind, holding you down, all the time!

    I hope that sharing brings you a little freedom. Like everyone else, it’s a relief to hear the “dark” side and it is a bonding experience!

    And just a side note – I’m jealous of YOUR outfits and wardrobe! I can only imagine the awesome other outfits you’re checking out if that’s how you feel!

  48. thank you for sharing–very brave of you!
    and girl, i totally know how you feel about the pcos thing. i have pcos too and it gives me more stress and anxiety than i would like.

  49. thank you for sharing–very brave of you!
    and girl, i totally know how you feel about the pcos thing. i have pcos too and it gives me more stress and anxiety than i would like.

  50. Imogen

    Hi Jess,
    long time reader/lurker and occasional commenter here. This post really struck a chord with me. Thank you for being so real, open and honest in such a public place. It is something special for you to share these things online. What you express are normal feelings, you and your readers know that.
    We all have things we worry about, fears for the future, fears we are currently dealing with (i’m pouring my heart, soul and social life into physician’s training-internal medicine in america-which scares me as so much is invested in this and it takes so much to work towards this), these feelings are normal, we are human, our lives are not supposed to be perfect, that wouldn’t be living. I love your blog for the ‘realness’ of what you talk about and share with the world.
    Thank you and keep up the good work!

  51. Jess

    Goodness gracious! Thank you each and every one of you for your wonderful words! I now:

    A: Don’t feel so alone. It’s great to know that I’m sharing flaws with others trying to live an intentional life.

    B: Feel more comfortable being even more “me” on MML. Though I don’t know how that will come show, I am curious to find out!

    C: Hope this helps others thinking about being more “them” online too. So far the water’s fine, guys!

  52. Flavia

    Hi Jess, I absolutely loved this post. I love all your posts, but this one in particular resonated with me because I have many things I am afraid to reveal to people out of embarrassment or shyness. Thank you for being so honest and for having the courage to share your thoughts with your readers. It made me start thinking about doing a similar post on my own blog. As much as I love blogging, it has also brought its fair share of frustrations and difficult moments. One of the recurring feelings I have consistently had since blogging is a feeling of envy. I’ve never been an envious person, but for some reason, once I started my blog and reading other blogs, I often fall into the trap of comparing myself and feeling envious about other bloggers who are better writers, photographers and food stylists. Then the envy turns into self-loathing because I strongly believe that envy is one of the most toxic emotions we can feel and gets us nowhere in life. I often have to remind myself that some people are born with God-given gifts for writing, art, styling, etc. and that everyone has to work hard to become good at their craft.

    So thank you for being so honest with your readers. You are a blogger I respect and admire very much. Keep up the good work!

    P.S. Am *loving* my “Flea” bracelet that my husband got me! 🙂

  53. Flavia

    Hi Jess, I absolutely loved this post. I love all your posts, but this one in particular resonated with me because I have many things I am afraid to reveal to people out of embarrassment or shyness. Thank you for being so honest and for having the courage to share your thoughts with your readers. It made me start thinking about doing a similar post on my own blog. As much as I love blogging, it has also brought its fair share of frustrations and difficult moments. One of the recurring feelings I have consistently had since blogging is a feeling of envy. I’ve never been an envious person, but for some reason, once I started my blog and reading other blogs, I often fall into the trap of comparing myself and feeling envious about other bloggers who are better writers, photographers and food stylists. Then the envy turns into self-loathing because I strongly believe that envy is one of the most toxic emotions we can feel and gets us nowhere in life. I often have to remind myself that some people are born with God-given gifts for writing, art, styling, etc. and that everyone has to work hard to become good at their craft.

    So thank you for being so honest with your readers. You are a blogger I respect and admire very much. Keep up the good work!

    P.S. Am *loving* my “Flea” bracelet that my husband got me! 🙂

  54. Shirley

    Jess, Thank you so much for sharing! We’re all humans, full of flaws and imperfections! That’s what makes us unique, each and one of us!!! 🙂

  55. Shirley

    Jess, Thank you so much for sharing! We’re all humans, full of flaws and imperfections! That’s what makes us unique, each and one of us!!! 🙂

  56. Another awesome post! You have just been killing it recently! I know I speak for all your readers when I say that your honesty is one of the things we love most about you and why we continue to read. 🙂

  57. Katie

    I wish we could all be the way others see us. You are someone that I wish I was more like from your entrepreneurial ability to your natural beauty and your honesty. That bank is stupid. Keep plugging away. Don’t be afraid to visualize exactly want you want in a partner, family, etc. and ask for it! Get specific…you won’t feel limited, it will free you! (This sounds so weird, but I’m posting it anyway!) Best to you!

  58. Katie

    I wish we could all be the way others see us. You are someone that I wish I was more like from your entrepreneurial ability to your natural beauty and your honesty. That bank is stupid. Keep plugging away. Don’t be afraid to visualize exactly want you want in a partner, family, etc. and ask for it! Get specific…you won’t feel limited, it will free you! (This sounds so weird, but I’m posting it anyway!) Best to you!

  59. Patricia

    I don’t know you. but I feel like I can relate to you in so many ways. I’m just a couple years younger than you. I own my own business (and have not so great health insurance). And, I have PCOS too. I remember when my husband asked me to marry him being terrified that he would back out because of the possibility that we couldn’t have kids. And you know what? Four years later, we haven’t been able to have kids (although many women with PCOS do eventually get pregnant) and we are starting the adoption process. It’s not exactly the way I would have chosen things, but I’m very happy with my life. Thank you for sharing. It has made me feel less vulnerable knowing that there is someone out there going through the same stuff.

  60. Patricia

    I don’t know you. but I feel like I can relate to you in so many ways. I’m just a couple years younger than you. I own my own business (and have not so great health insurance). And, I have PCOS too. I remember when my husband asked me to marry him being terrified that he would back out because of the possibility that we couldn’t have kids. And you know what? Four years later, we haven’t been able to have kids (although many women with PCOS do eventually get pregnant) and we are starting the adoption process. It’s not exactly the way I would have chosen things, but I’m very happy with my life. Thank you for sharing. It has made me feel less vulnerable knowing that there is someone out there going through the same stuff.

  61. Thanks for being so raw and sharing! We ALL have tons of problems, similar feelings, fears, bad days at work, and seriously who can ever have a big enough wardrobe (hehehe)! But I can totally help you with that if you ever need it I’d be honored to work with you ;0)

  62. Shalina

    That was sooo very brave, open and honest. We’ve met met several times in person and I’ve always been so impressed with and a little in awe of you…I remember thinking she most definitely has it all figured out and,has crafted the perfect life for herself. Of course no one has a “perfect” life ( really who would want one it would be too boring) we all have our struggles and concerns and when we can be honest about them it helps us form authentic relationships with those around us. I have trouble showing any vulnerability but your post has inspired me to try.

  63. Shalina

    That was sooo very brave, open and honest. We’ve met met several times in person and I’ve always been so impressed with and a little in awe of you…I remember thinking she most definitely has it all figured out and,has crafted the perfect life for herself. Of course no one has a “perfect” life ( really who would want one it would be too boring) we all have our struggles and concerns and when we can be honest about them it helps us form authentic relationships with those around us. I have trouble showing any vulnerability but your post has inspired me to try.

  64. 17 Perth

    I hear ya–thanks for the honesty. 🙂 It is surely refreshing and I can completely relate….especially to the insurance, wardrobe, combined income with spouse and joyce meyer. I have to admit–when I got married–I did love the idea of having support from my husband, even though financially I didn’t “need” it. It was mostly like exhale—we are in this together. And I love love love joyce meyer. I am a Christian and she loves to keep it real too. Never worry about offending here for relating to her. She is a very introspective woman. Also–have you heard of Beth Moore? If you like Joyce Meyer–you might want to check out Beth Moore.

  65. 17 Perth

    I hear ya–thanks for the honesty. 🙂 It is surely refreshing and I can completely relate….especially to the insurance, wardrobe, combined income with spouse and joyce meyer. I have to admit–when I got married–I did love the idea of having support from my husband, even though financially I didn’t “need” it. It was mostly like exhale—we are in this together. And I love love love joyce meyer. I am a Christian and she loves to keep it real too. Never worry about offending here for relating to her. She is a very introspective woman. Also–have you heard of Beth Moore? If you like Joyce Meyer–you might want to check out Beth Moore.

  66. Jeanee

    Thanks for sharing Jess. You know I always think you’re amazing.

    I have a wonderful supportive hubby that does A LOT for me. But with him having a DJ profession I’m the one with the job that brings in the majority of income + doing my biz too.

    And I remember NO ONE’s names either. Try the Evernote Hello app. People you meet and take photos of themselves with your iPhone and put in their info & you can write something memorable about them!

  67. Jenny

    I love this post! I think it’s so easy here in the blogosphere to judge our insides by others outsides. It helps to be reminded that we all have our own struggles. It’s just being human! Thank you!

  68. Jenny

    I love this post! I think it’s so easy here in the blogosphere to judge our insides by others outsides. It helps to be reminded that we all have our own struggles. It’s just being human! Thank you!

  69. Becca

    No fallout here! I appreciate your honesty, and that people are talking about their lives in a more personal way to show that things aren’t as perfect as they might appear from what’s being published on a blog, etc. I do think though that if you choose not to share certain things with us, it’s ok too.

  70. Becca

    No fallout here! I appreciate your honesty, and that people are talking about their lives in a more personal way to show that things aren’t as perfect as they might appear from what’s being published on a blog, etc. I do think though that if you choose not to share certain things with us, it’s ok too.

  71. Alix

    What a great post, Jess! If it makes you feel any better, I am AWFUL at names. There are people I’ve worked with for *months* but infrequently enough that their names go smack out of my head. Ah well, they seem to remember mine, so…!

  72. I hope you feel so good after this.

    Sometimes all you have to do is say things to someone (or all your blog readers), put it out there in the world and just take away the secret factor – it makes it so much easier to deal with.

    We all have our secrets – we just are not all brave enough to share them. props to you!

  73. I hope you feel so good after this.

    Sometimes all you have to do is say things to someone (or all your blog readers), put it out there in the world and just take away the secret factor – it makes it so much easier to deal with.

    We all have our secrets – we just are not all brave enough to share them. props to you!

  74. Days late to the conversation here, but I just wanted to reach through the internet and give you a hug!! Thank you for being an inspiration to us, through your constant positivity, honesty, inspiration, and perhaps most importantly: bravery. I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am for you and your blog!!

  75. Days late to the conversation here, but I just wanted to reach through the internet and give you a hug!! Thank you for being an inspiration to us, through your constant positivity, honesty, inspiration, and perhaps most importantly: bravery. I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am for you and your blog!!

  76. I like the sharing! Real, dynamic, complicated people are much more interesting. It’s like your fleshing out a character in a novel. 🙂

  77. I like the sharing! Real, dynamic, complicated people are much more interesting. It’s like your fleshing out a character in a novel. 🙂

  78. This is perfect. I really liked that you shared those fears with us. Many of us have those same fears. For example the extensive wardrobe, I have that same problem. But mines is like “How do they get so much money to buy all those expensive clothes?” Because I surely don’t make that much money.

    But should you be afraid of telling us about who you really are? No, I think is wonderful and it makes you seem HUMAN. Unlike in the blogosphere it always isn’t that way. Bloggers only show the great times they have and don’t show the bad in their lives. So I’m glad you shared it with us. And I won’t look at you any differently. I think you are already an amazing woman because you are living your life with intention and helping women along the way.

  79. This is perfect. I really liked that you shared those fears with us. Many of us have those same fears. For example the extensive wardrobe, I have that same problem. But mines is like “How do they get so much money to buy all those expensive clothes?” Because I surely don’t make that much money.

    But should you be afraid of telling us about who you really are? No, I think is wonderful and it makes you seem HUMAN. Unlike in the blogosphere it always isn’t that way. Bloggers only show the great times they have and don’t show the bad in their lives. So I’m glad you shared it with us. And I won’t look at you any differently. I think you are already an amazing woman because you are living your life with intention and helping women along the way.

  80. Colleen

    I was diagnosed with PCOS when we started trying to conceive & ran into issues. It felt good to have an explanation for various random health issues I’d had. It took 2.5 yrs and some media to level out the PCOS hormones, but I’m due end of July and everything has gone smoothly. Don’t consider it an impossible feat. The heart shape of my uterus was actually far more an issue than the PCOS. (bicornuate uterus) if you want more details on the steps we took, feel free to contact me directly. Sharing my story of fertility challenges & losses has helped me and others dealing with similar challenges. You opening up about yourself has the same positive effect.

    We’re all human & need to be reminded that it’s easy to show the happy, glossy side of our lives, but it’s sharing the messy, gritty sides that really allow us to truly connect with others. Read the lyrics to Dar Williams “What do you hear in these sounds?” to see how universe the feeling is.

  81. Colleen

    Damn autocorrect.
    2.5 yrs and some MEDICINE…
    .. To see how UNIVERSAL the feeling is.

  82. Colleen

    Damn autocorrect.
    2.5 yrs and some MEDICINE…
    .. To see how UNIVERSAL the feeling is.

  83. Jess

    Hi Colleen, thank you so, so much for sharing your story! I am so happy to hear that you were able to have a baby despite your PCOS and other complications! It makes me very excited and optimistic for my own future children!

  84. Jess

    Hi Colleen, thank you so, so much for sharing your story! I am so happy to hear that you were able to have a baby despite your PCOS and other complications! It makes me very excited and optimistic for my own future children!

  85. Lisa

    Hi Jess,

    I love your work and just came across this post. I just wanted to second the encouragement. I love your honesty and find it really inspiring.

    Also, my mom has PCOS and was able to have my sister and me. I know every situation is different, but I just wanted to send along a bit of hope and positive energy.

    Best wishes,
    Lisa

  86. Lisa

    Hi Jess,

    I love your work and just came across this post. I just wanted to second the encouragement. I love your honesty and find it really inspiring.

    Also, my mom has PCOS and was able to have my sister and me. I know every situation is different, but I just wanted to send along a bit of hope and positive energy.

    Best wishes,
    Lisa

  87. I’m not even sure that I could track back to how I got to this post, but it’s wonderful. We all have an online persona, and though I’d like to think that mine is “me,” I know that I edit and censor what I put online. It’s an ongoing discussion with friends that I’ve made across the social media platforms.

    Thank you for sharing!

  88. I’m not even sure that I could track back to how I got to this post, but it’s wonderful. We all have an online persona, and though I’d like to think that mine is “me,” I know that I edit and censor what I put online. It’s an ongoing discussion with friends that I’ve made across the social media platforms.

    Thank you for sharing!

  89. I know I’m late to the party here, but I wanted to chime in with 2 things…

    A – I forget names ALL the time and constantly reintroduce myself (sometimes to RELATIVES!) — let’s start a club.

    B – I also have PCOS quite badly, but (miraculously?) had no problems having 3 boys in 5 years…so don’t give up hope yet girl — you never know!

  90. I know I’m late to the party here, but I wanted to chime in with 2 things…

    A – I forget names ALL the time and constantly reintroduce myself (sometimes to RELATIVES!) — let’s start a club.

    B – I also have PCOS quite badly, but (miraculously?) had no problems having 3 boys in 5 years…so don’t give up hope yet girl — you never know!

  91. Amy

    Hi Jess, I just found your blog, and your recent posts about honesty/reality/icing etc via Ez at Creature Comforts blog, and I just wanted to say how much I admire what you are doing. I feel really inspired to give my own blog a reality check – I want my blog to be a place that makes readers feel good about themselves and reading yours and Ez’s posts just now has done that for me. There seems to be a real feeling all over the blog world at the moment (or at least the ones I read) about getting back to basics, and I really love it.

    Thanks for sharing, I’m glad to have found your blog! Amy XO

  92. Dana

    I had PCOS plus Endo plus multiple other problems. I was basically a worst case scenario. My decision to come forward and be completely honest with friends and family was hard but ultimately the right one. So many of my friends came to me secretly with their own issues but stayed private with everyone else out of embarrassment. I’m glad I decided not to let this issue be an “embarrassment”. It was a medical issue I had no control over. Why should I or any woman feel bad about this? Many years later and after lots of surgeries and IVF, I have miracle twin girls. My issues have resurface causing a total hysterectomy and I hope to adopt a child in need soon.

  93. debbie

    thank you for “keepin it real”. your honesty and openness is inspiring.

  94. Amina

    This is exactly what moves me! And I tried from the start of my young blog to be as honest as possible to pay attention to beauty AND reality, so my blog explanation is named “Do more of what makes you happy AND DON´T FORGET THE REST”.
    Sometimes you read when people fall seriously ill or somebody of the family died because they want their readers to know why it is possibly quiet on the blog.
    What I see mostly is when people loose their beloved pets they write frankly true posts about their grief. Maybe it´s like a ventil for all the things happening in real but never mentioned feelings about in the virtual blog-beauty-life.

  95. Amina

    This is exactly what moves me! And I tried from the start of my young blog to be as honest as possible to pay attention to beauty AND reality, so my blog explanation is named “Do more of what makes you happy AND DON´T FORGET THE REST”.
    Sometimes you read when people fall seriously ill or somebody of the family died because they want their readers to know why it is possibly quiet on the blog.
    What I see mostly is when people loose their beloved pets they write frankly true posts about their grief. Maybe it´s like a ventil for all the things happening in real but never mentioned feelings about in the virtual blog-beauty-life.

  96. Thanks for being so honest. As a fellow blogger I am often also loath to admit to a lot that is happening in my life. It’s so much better and easier to just talk about the good stuff. I always wonder what my readers will think. Thanks for your honesty. I think I should also try to be more me and truthful in future.

  97. Thanks for being so honest. As a fellow blogger I am often also loath to admit to a lot that is happening in my life. It’s so much better and easier to just talk about the good stuff. I always wonder what my readers will think. Thanks for your honesty. I think I should also try to be more me and truthful in future.

  98. I absolutely, totally admire you! You have such courage. What a perfect quality to have. We all should own our fears and truths.

  99. this is a GREAT post ! I love it
    we all tend to only show our good sides on our blog – so this idea totally ROCKS!
    WEll done ! stand tall and proud for being so real!

    I have PCOS and I have changed what i eat and my lifestyle
    I have an 8 year old daughter …

    hugs
    You are great!
    Betty Bake x

  100. this is a GREAT post ! I love it
    we all tend to only show our good sides on our blog – so this idea totally ROCKS!
    WEll done ! stand tall and proud for being so real!

    I have PCOS and I have changed what i eat and my lifestyle
    I have an 8 year old daughter …

    hugs
    You are great!
    Betty Bake x

  101. Liz

    Jess, I applaud you for taking a stand and showing that being real comes with having and showing real feelings, even when they are not so pretty. You are inspiring so many bloggers (including me) that it’s okay to open up and keep things real! Have a REAL great weekend!!

  102. Liz

    Jess, I applaud you for taking a stand and showing that being real comes with having and showing real feelings, even when they are not so pretty. You are inspiring so many bloggers (including me) that it’s okay to open up and keep things real! Have a REAL great weekend!!

  103. Leanda

    Hi Jess. I’m here after seeing ez’s post yesterday on creature comforts and I was incredibly inspired and relieved! Not just me!!! So a huge thank you to you for kick-starting this whole thing off and for your honesty and bravery! x

  104. Lindsey

    I found you through Tiffany at camp1899.com who is joining the blogger trend with you. Thanks for keeping it real! Love love love this and hope it catches fire out there:)

  105. How refreshing. Honesty!!!! A lot of the blogging out there is completely missing the point. We’re not all Martha Stewart…even Martha Stewart isn’t! Bravo.

  106. How refreshing. Honesty!!!! A lot of the blogging out there is completely missing the point. We’re not all Martha Stewart…even Martha Stewart isn’t! Bravo.

  107. alston

    your honesty is incredibly refreshing. thanks for putting yourself out there and inspiring so many others to do the same!

  108. Lexi

    these posts are so refreshing! thanks for sharing…omg i cried at work before, too. so embarrassing. i worked fine jewelry & it was valentine’s day weekend…i had just started, things were hectic, i got yelled at for requesting help…lol cue waterworks.

  109. Lexi

    these posts are so refreshing! thanks for sharing…omg i cried at work before, too. so embarrassing. i worked fine jewelry & it was valentine’s day weekend…i had just started, things were hectic, i got yelled at for requesting help…lol cue waterworks.

  110. Caroline

    Nice job! Interesting things. Sure makes one think, Jess. Nice to read, though. One thing you said made me want to reach through and somehow help you. I was what they used to call a”Steine”. I hade Stein-Leventhal Syndrome and tried everything to have a child (I didn’t ovulate and wasn’t a good candidate for in vitro, etc.). They now lump it in PCOS. I know they’ve come a long way (since the ’70s when I was trying) and have faith that if you are meant to have children, you will. My prayers are with you (I’m not religious, either, but believe in so many things, including prayer).

  111. Hi Jess,

    I just wanted to thank you for starting such an inspirational movement. I’m very impressed with your honesty and can totally relate. I just shared the things I’m afraid to say on my blog today. Thank you for giving me the courage to do so!

    You’re amazing!

    Lexy

  112. Tonya

    I read this and it made me cry. Actually, I am still crying as I type . . . I am so happy (and proud) that you started this wave of honesty in the blogosphere! I have been working on starting my own business for some time now, but every time I look to the creativity of others, I question myself. I feel as though it is a massive competition to see who has the most “style” even though I know it’s silly as style is a personal thing. I want to be doing more in my life and I feel like am just sitting . . . going nowhere and that makes me sad. I think I just did my own version of “things I’m afraid to tell you” and it feels good. YOU ROCK JESS!! Now that we have acknowledged our fears, I guess that means we need to conquer them??? OMG!

  113. Tonya

    I read this and it made me cry. Actually, I am still crying as I type . . . I am so happy (and proud) that you started this wave of honesty in the blogosphere! I have been working on starting my own business for some time now, but every time I look to the creativity of others, I question myself. I feel as though it is a massive competition to see who has the most “style” even though I know it’s silly as style is a personal thing. I want to be doing more in my life and I feel like am just sitting . . . going nowhere and that makes me sad. I think I just did my own version of “things I’m afraid to tell you” and it feels good. YOU ROCK JESS!! Now that we have acknowledged our fears, I guess that means we need to conquer them??? OMG!

  114. Jessica

    What a great post! As a fellow Joyce M fan I totally related to that oone, don’t watch the show but I have lots of her books that I read over and over 🙂

  115. Lizzie

    I don’t know you and I’ve never read your blog (I will now), but I think I love you. First off, I identify with you in so many ways (I try to count drinks by how many glasses, nevermind how large that glass is – wink). Second, it’s refreshing. I wouldn’t judge you for a thing you said. You sound wonderful. More importantly, you sound human and “normal.” That’s more than I can say for a lot of blogs I read. 🙂

  116. Lizzie

    I don’t know you and I’ve never read your blog (I will now), but I think I love you. First off, I identify with you in so many ways (I try to count drinks by how many glasses, nevermind how large that glass is – wink). Second, it’s refreshing. I wouldn’t judge you for a thing you said. You sound wonderful. More importantly, you sound human and “normal.” That’s more than I can say for a lot of blogs I read. 🙂

  117. Thank you for sharing! I am too, terrible with names, probably drink more than I should and sometimes envy people’s closet, despite mine being pretty awesome. Keep it up lady! You are doing amazing work, with your jewelry, but most importantly, inspiring all of us!

  118. Anon

    Congrats on your honesty! I love it.

    Vulnerability creates interest and makes people care. You’re human and so are your readers.

    I also envy friends with clothes, cash, free time, etc. It’s human. But remember, your friends with all the clothes might also have a ton of debt. Debt robs you of EVERYTHING, don’t forget it.

    I am someone with health problems who might go blind because of them. You are right to appreciate your health; it’s the most important thing of all.

    I know people with PCOS who have had kids. I know it’s hard (a close friend of mine is using Clomid now), but keep the faith. There are several treatment options to try, when the time comes. There are also options beyond that. I also have friends and family who have adopted (and some who adopted as a first choice) and they could not be happier.

    Best wishes to you!

  119. Andrea

    You are so brave! Nothing will come of it other than profound respect from those who read it!

    Cheers,
    AS

  120. Thank you very much for sharing this! I am so glad it caught on like wild fire in the interwebs 🙂

  121. Hi

    I love this. might have to do a post like this myself. Also i have pcos too. I don’t know if i’ll be able to have kids but i want to adopt instead anyway.

    xxx

  122. JD @ Honest Mom

    I didn’t realiz you started this meme! Very cool. I did a “Things I’m Afraid to Tell Ypou” post on my blog. On a whim I made it a link-up, and was surprised to see people run with it. I think we all have things we’d like to get off our chest, huh? Thanks for the inspiration!

  123. Heather

    Thanks for being a real person, not a two-dimensional snapshot. Here’s to not being perfect!

  124. Almost my entire blog is Things I’m Afraid To Tell You. Things like my ex-husband having me involuntarily committed for psychiatric evaluation, or the fact that I stopped shaving my legs during a study abroad summer six years ago when I forgot to pack replacement razors and was too cheap to buy more at UK prices with my US wages and never started shaving again. Whoever wants to tell anyone about something like that? Except, that once shared, we all feel a little less alone.

  125. Arah

    Thank you for this. I am slowly taking steps to live more transparently everyday. I find it very empowering to be an “open book”, and I admire you for living your life this way (even if you say its online).

  126. Arah

    Thank you for this. I am slowly taking steps to live more transparently everyday. I find it very empowering to be an “open book”, and I admire you for living your life this way (even if you say its online).

  127. Rae

    Just wanted to e-hug you and thank you for this. Your open-ness gives all of us the courage to be more open and authentic.

  128. Kelsey

    Amazing how you writing those things immediately creates a comfort inside of me as I read them. It’s silly how as a human being we can feel stupid for simply being imperfect beings…I loved everything you wrote, you honestly and it is very admirable how you were able to do so. Being real is truly living.

  129. Kelsey

    Amazing how you writing those things immediately creates a comfort inside of me as I read them. It’s silly how as a human being we can feel stupid for simply being imperfect beings…I loved everything you wrote, you honestly and it is very admirable how you were able to do so. Being real is truly living.

  130. Thank you so, so much for inspiring the courage in me to participate in this act of transparent honesty as well. I really appreciate it!

  131. Karen J

    Hi Jess!

    My late-Hunny often wore a pin that said “Hi! I don’t remember your name, either” – broke that barrier faster and more painlessly than anything! 🙂

    My own “Things I’m Afraid to Tell Myself, Let Alone You” post has to wait ’til after I do a couple of the things that I’ve committed to and am just as *afraid* to DO! Please, wish me a boot to the bottom ~ TIA!

    I just found this inspiring post via comment-connections, starting at Life[Comma]Etc.

  132. Jenna

    joyce meyer’s words are beautiful and comforting. they always help me to gain strength and perspective or even rest in the pain, knowing it is for change and growth, and out of that comes good. you mentioned that you are not christian but follow joyce’s show each day. what do you find in her words that keeps you coming back each day? i would love to know more about this.

    as for the seriously injured part, it is possible to have short term and long term disability coverage that would supplement your income if you were to become seriously injured and unable to work. it shouldnt be more than $20 a month for both, my company uses Lincoln National, they should offer that on an individual level.

    and im right there with you on those with husbands supplemental checks, and just those with husbands in general, and even worse those with husbands that have beautiful babies and a great wardrobe. gosh, it gets the best of me some days. and i have to remember that God is writing a story for me, it is unique to me and all my own, and it is for good. and this: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4 How amazing it is that comfort those words bring! Thank you for your honesty, its a beautiful and courageous thing.

  133. Jenna

    joyce meyer’s words are beautiful and comforting. they always help me to gain strength and perspective or even rest in the pain, knowing it is for change and growth, and out of that comes good. you mentioned that you are not christian but follow joyce’s show each day. what do you find in her words that keeps you coming back each day? i would love to know more about this.

    as for the seriously injured part, it is possible to have short term and long term disability coverage that would supplement your income if you were to become seriously injured and unable to work. it shouldnt be more than $20 a month for both, my company uses Lincoln National, they should offer that on an individual level.

    and im right there with you on those with husbands supplemental checks, and just those with husbands in general, and even worse those with husbands that have beautiful babies and a great wardrobe. gosh, it gets the best of me some days. and i have to remember that God is writing a story for me, it is unique to me and all my own, and it is for good. and this: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4 How amazing it is that comfort those words bring! Thank you for your honesty, its a beautiful and courageous thing.

  134. Jess

    Jenna, thank you so much for your comment! I totally agree with you – I find Joyce’s words beautiful, and comforting regardless of her religious beliefs. I’m deeply spiritual and her teachings at the core are universal and so wonderful for everyone, not just Christians specifically, which is why I love listening to her. : )

    Thanks for the insurance info. I am now married and have great health insurance under my husband’s plan.

    And I totally hear you on the husband thing. Now that I’m married, I think there is probably some other thing in the future that my ego may flare up about – there’s always something more out there, you know? But like you, I’m narrowing my focus on my own life and path!

  135. Jess

    Jenna, thank you so much for your comment! I totally agree with you – I find Joyce’s words beautiful, and comforting regardless of her religious beliefs. I’m deeply spiritual and her teachings at the core are universal and so wonderful for everyone, not just Christians specifically, which is why I love listening to her. : )

    Thanks for the insurance info. I am now married and have great health insurance under my husband’s plan.

    And I totally hear you on the husband thing. Now that I’m married, I think there is probably some other thing in the future that my ego may flare up about – there’s always something more out there, you know? But like you, I’m narrowing my focus on my own life and path!

  136. jen

    i wanted to ask if you have looked into fertility diets in regards to your PCOS? i have been doing a TON of research lately about food and the gut and have come across many surprising things. it gets very complex, so i will summarize a bit. GM foods are one of the main destroyers of the gut lining (preservatives/chemicals too). this is because the genetic modifications break your DNA, inhibiting your body’s ability to create new healthy cells, and your gut lining cells are some of the most frequently replaced, so your gut is one of the first things affected. look up gut flora on wikipedia. your gut also plays a huge role in your emotions and immune system, and your endocrine regulation (estrogen included). also of note: SOY; it is subsidized and added to ALMOST EVERYTHING, look at your labels. soy should only be eaten in small amounts and ONLY if fermented (miso, tempeh, soy sauce, etc). the FDA has almost 300 papers confirming soy as a carcinogen (not fermented), is one of the largest GM crops in the US, and contains high amounts of phytoestrogens (plant estrogens) which bind to human estrogen receptors. BPA is a xenoestrogen (synthetic estrogen) and also binds to estrogen receptors. BPA lines canned foods, sodas, anything plastic that does not say BPA-free, and leaches into your food/drink; BPA is released at higher rates at higher temperatures. the effect of estrogen overload can be fertility problems in general… but it also messes with your thyroid, which is responsible for all manner of endocrine regulation in your body. if your thyroid is messed up, there can be a plethora of confusing issues going on. look to your food, and dig deep for answers if you want to resolve your PCOS. Nourishing Traditions is a good book, and naturally fermented foods are helpful. of course, i am not a doctor. 😉 i can only offer advice.

  137. jen

    i wanted to ask if you have looked into fertility diets in regards to your PCOS? i have been doing a TON of research lately about food and the gut and have come across many surprising things. it gets very complex, so i will summarize a bit. GM foods are one of the main destroyers of the gut lining (preservatives/chemicals too). this is because the genetic modifications break your DNA, inhibiting your body’s ability to create new healthy cells, and your gut lining cells are some of the most frequently replaced, so your gut is one of the first things affected. look up gut flora on wikipedia. your gut also plays a huge role in your emotions and immune system, and your endocrine regulation (estrogen included). also of note: SOY; it is subsidized and added to ALMOST EVERYTHING, look at your labels. soy should only be eaten in small amounts and ONLY if fermented (miso, tempeh, soy sauce, etc). the FDA has almost 300 papers confirming soy as a carcinogen (not fermented), is one of the largest GM crops in the US, and contains high amounts of phytoestrogens (plant estrogens) which bind to human estrogen receptors. BPA is a xenoestrogen (synthetic estrogen) and also binds to estrogen receptors. BPA lines canned foods, sodas, anything plastic that does not say BPA-free, and leaches into your food/drink; BPA is released at higher rates at higher temperatures. the effect of estrogen overload can be fertility problems in general… but it also messes with your thyroid, which is responsible for all manner of endocrine regulation in your body. if your thyroid is messed up, there can be a plethora of confusing issues going on. look to your food, and dig deep for answers if you want to resolve your PCOS. Nourishing Traditions is a good book, and naturally fermented foods are helpful. of course, i am not a doctor. 😉 i can only offer advice.

  138. Samantha

    Just discovered your blog and love how candid and open you are – it really makes the blog amazing!

  139. Samantha

    Just discovered your blog and love how candid and open you are – it really makes the blog amazing!

  140. taren

    another absolutely beautiful post.

    My favorite part was the Joyce Meyer part. I am a christian and I still get “weird” about talking about Jesus too much on my blog or facebook – one because I don’t consider that who I am. I am deeply in love with the man but I don’t think any relationship, especially one so significant as that, should be forced on anyone – and two, I recognize that there is a fear element in there. I don’t want to be that person.

    thanks for being real.

    1. I’m so happy to hear you enjoy this post and can relate to the Joyce part, Taren. It can be tricky to talk about what inspires you from a spiritual or religious perspective without raising eyebrows. But in the end, we must follow our guts.

  141. Elizabeth Finlayson

    This is one of the best things I’ve read online. I am also scared to share these types of things with my online audience. The lesson I learned: Because of this post, I like you and I don’t even know you!

    1. I’m glad you liked this post, Elizabeth! It sure wasn’t easy to press publish, but I thank you so much for sharing how it touched you.

      I also hope it helps you – in any small way – to feel more comfortable being who you are with your online audience, too. : )

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