Okay, I know I don’t usually “vent” here on MML. I find there is a fine line in my mind between being transparent and having a pity party for myself. Because of which, I usually try to learn lessons before sharing the story here on the blog.
That said, over the past six months I have worked through a difficult private situation which has required a lot of personal and spiritual growth. So though the circumstances are hard, my ability to handle that situation has become stronger. Things aren’t still going ‘the way I want,’ but I’ve learned a lot about my own strength and spirit. Most of the time.
In addition to the personal life challenges, I’ve also recently had a very difficult situation arise in the business. Since launching the new version of Jess LC I’ve experienced some amazing highs and lows. The saying is true, with new privilege comes new responsibility and I’m learning day by day how to handle bigger risks and challenges.
These two areas of change in my life are often exhilarating, exciting, challenging, and rewarding.
Except when they’re not.
To be honest, sometimes it feels like it would have been easier to avoid the personal situation or to have delayed the launch of the new Jess LC. Things would (seem) more peaceful, secure, easy. Living through the “muddy” parts of growth can feel hard, depressing, and uncertain at times.
Two weeks ago I was feeling particularly “muddy” until I remembered this story about the no complaint bracelet. Years ago, I wore a purple string on my wrist to remind myself not to complain. If something went wrong, I was forced to ask myself: can I do anything about this? If I couldn’t take any action to improve the situation, I was forced to change the way I felt about the event. End of story.
So during my particularly grouchy day, I decided to strap a new yellow string on my wrist to re-visit the no complaint intention. And by the third day I could actually notice and stop myself from complaining. On day five, I actually become aware of complaint thoughts, and strove to let go of those as well. Overall, it did a great job helping me to be within situations that were beyond my control and not feel like a victim.
Yesterday it occurred to me that this no complaint string correlates perfectly with the idea of the happy string mentioned in the Happy For No Reason post. This string that represents no complaining also represents the ability to find happiness despite our circumstances. They are one in the same. I never would have guessed that tying the yellow string on my wrist would lead to feeling a deep sense of happiness. But it has.
At least most of the time.