You see, I’ve been making huge progress in my life by simply shifting my success paradigm and success metrics from achievement to service. I’ve had a huge increase in blissed out moments of peace and joy this year.
Perhaps more than any other time in my life.
But with my new familiarity with what it feels like to be in that amazing state very frequently, I’m finding myself irritable and frustrated when I’m not “feeling the love.”
I’m getting less comfortable with not feeling awesome.
And because I know that this feeling is achieved from within, it really has everything to do with my own motivation in the present moment and nothing to do with external conditions, I’m the only one who can “fix” this problem.
So I get really annoyed when I can’t seem to make that “switch” in motivation instantly. It’s a muscle I’m developing, but not nearly as quickly as the recovering perfectionist in me would like.
My impatience, in and of itself, is something that I need to show love to. At this moment I’m not able to intentionally change my moods and emotions as much as I’d like. I’m a work in progress.
Realistically, I will be “a work in progress” the rest of my life.
(My ego chokes on that truth-nugget. But it’s true.)
More than anything, I feel like this internal frustration eventually plays itself out in different areas of my life. I start an argument with Mr. Lively. I get weird about a business situation. I get kinda caught in a funk that’s hard to pull myself out of.
But recently Mastin asked: What do I love about this moment?
Reading that question stopped me in my funk-filled tracks.
It encouraged me to pause and ask myself – despite my bliss-lacking state of mind – what I love about this moment?
I love that I am getting a massage today.
I love that I’m not overwhelmed with things to prepare before the trip tomorrow.
I love that Franklin has been really well behaved today.
I love that Mr. Lively and I are going on a date night tonight.
I love that I am going to get to see my best friend after the Boston workshop in NYC.
I love that Jen has been doing such a great job.
I love that I was able to help people today in the Book Club.
I love that I’m making progress in my service paradigm shift.
Phew. There are plenty of things that I love about this moment – even though I haven’t been “feeling it.”
What do you love about this moment?