what’s really important

 

This weekend Mr. Lively and I stayed with my Grandpa in Kettering, Ohio. Mr. Lively had not yet met this Grandpa or my mom’s side of the family yet. So though Mr. Lively has spoken over the phone a few times with Grandpa, it was time to have a live introduction.

And while the trip was peaceful and fun, I did not expect it to have such a deep impact on me personally.

After spending just a few days with my Grandpa I got a priority realignment, if you will.

While my life and career in Chicago are exciting and meaningful, my priorities have become a bit too muddied.

Working for myself and growing my companies is a huge challenge. Nothing is promised day to day, budgeting is more of an art than a science, and new opportunities (and road blocks) pop up around each new corner.

As things grow, I’m constantly directing a ship that is bigger than I’ve ever sailed before. I learn as I go, without a guarantee of success.

With this much on my plate, even my work/life boundaries cannot completely stem my focus on my businesses.

However, these past few days have helped me snap out of a mixed up priority system.

Over the past year or so I’ve allowed myself to place my career above everything except spirituality and my relationship with Mr. Lively.

Though I admittedly have done a really good job keeping spirituality and my relationship at the top of my list, I have let design and career have higher precedence over family and friends.

Since Mr. Lively and I have family spanning every section of the country, it has been hard for us to see them on a regular basis. Now that we have a car we have more mobility, but still remains a challenge to keep up with everyone.

And even here in Chicago, I find my work commitments can keep me away from friend engagements. Also, to be even more honest, the stress of the businesses leaves me feeling drained. Seeing friends can feel like work.

So I’ve holed up. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on Mr. Lively and my businesses to the expense of family and friends.

But as Grandpa has shown me, as you move on in life it is your family and friends that matter the most. There is no guarantee that Mr. Lively will be alive with me my entire life and my career will evolve and pass.

And if I only put stock into those two parts of my life, I may be lonely in years to come.

So though I think what I do is great and my love for Mr. Lively is wonderful, I gotta make sure I don’t let my career cast a shadow that blocks out those people who are also very important to me.

 

This Post Has 14 Comments

  1. Kristen

    Hi Jess. I’m a long-time reader and I love this post! I saw the picture and thought, where else is there a Bill’s Donuts… Oh wait!!! You were where I live (okay a live a town or two over, but we used to live in Kettering) and we of course still go to Bill’s all the time! Next time we should meet and say hi! I’m just so excited that there was someone who I read and buy from all the time here in Ohio. 😀 Small world!

  2. Kristen

    Hi Jess. I’m a long-time reader and I love this post! I saw the picture and thought, where else is there a Bill’s Donuts… Oh wait!!! You were where I live (okay a live a town or two over, but we used to live in Kettering) and we of course still go to Bill’s all the time! Next time we should meet and say hi! I’m just so excited that there was someone who I read and buy from all the time here in Ohio. 😀 Small world!

  3. No way! Bill’s donuts!!! I live in Cincinnati and my co-worker brought some Bill’s donuts to work last Friday for his birthday. Really cool to see you were in my neck of the woods 🙂 Glad you got to see your grandpa and get some time to really think about your priorities. I always feel super refreshed after a weekend with Family.

  4. No way! Bill’s donuts!!! I live in Cincinnati and my co-worker brought some Bill’s donuts to work last Friday for his birthday. Really cool to see you were in my neck of the woods 🙂 Glad you got to see your grandpa and get some time to really think about your priorities. I always feel super refreshed after a weekend with Family.

  5. Brittany

    i LOVE this post. i, too, have a small-town family and every time i go back to visit, i leave with a renewed sense of what’s really important. it’s not the money in my bank account, the titles i have in my career or the amount of yoga classes i can teach in one week (on top of a 9-5). it’s my friends and family. my network of support and love. as i currently hustle almost every other non-working hour on my own business, i absolutely fall into ruts where my friends and family fall by the wayside. i love what i’m working to create, but i also love my friends + family and thus need to spend more time with them as well. thanks for the reminder 🙂

  6. Brittany

    i LOVE this post. i, too, have a small-town family and every time i go back to visit, i leave with a renewed sense of what’s really important. it’s not the money in my bank account, the titles i have in my career or the amount of yoga classes i can teach in one week (on top of a 9-5). it’s my friends and family. my network of support and love. as i currently hustle almost every other non-working hour on my own business, i absolutely fall into ruts where my friends and family fall by the wayside. i love what i’m working to create, but i also love my friends + family and thus need to spend more time with them as well. thanks for the reminder 🙂

  7. ashley

    i feel like i’ve recently made this discovery too… that no, putting work ahead of everything will not make me the successful, powerful, amazing, accomplished woman i thought i wanted to be. i am slowly learning to leave the office with time enough to hang out with the mr. or friends or to work out and to push work out of my mind once i’m home. maybe i won’t be a CEO, but i know i’ll be happier this way!

  8. ashley

    i feel like i’ve recently made this discovery too… that no, putting work ahead of everything will not make me the successful, powerful, amazing, accomplished woman i thought i wanted to be. i am slowly learning to leave the office with time enough to hang out with the mr. or friends or to work out and to push work out of my mind once i’m home. maybe i won’t be a CEO, but i know i’ll be happier this way!

  9. Liz Schneider

    Family and friends are such an amazing reminder for what is really important in this short little life that we have! xo

  10. Liz Schneider

    Family and friends are such an amazing reminder for what is really important in this short little life that we have! xo

  11. karla

    I can imagine! I don’t work, but the daughter can just take my whole day out! and leave me tired for anything else by 7 pm. But God comes first, then daughter and husband, then friends and family, then exercise, then my (temporarily abandoned) blog. I am now happy with this prioritization but still, since I love everything, I have to be careful not to loose my self on any special section. The difficult part is when tiredness hit me. Thanks for the reminder!

  12. karla

    I can imagine! I don’t work, but the daughter can just take my whole day out! and leave me tired for anything else by 7 pm. But God comes first, then daughter and husband, then friends and family, then exercise, then my (temporarily abandoned) blog. I am now happy with this prioritization but still, since I love everything, I have to be careful not to loose my self on any special section. The difficult part is when tiredness hit me. Thanks for the reminder!

  13. anne

    What great truth you speak here, Jess. I totally agree. It’s tough to keep your view clear when we have so much to do each day! What a wonderful blessing to have family who can help center us.

  14. So very true. It is hard because we get so wrapped up in one thing we forget about others. It happens to me all the time. I always start with the intention of calling or reaching out to my family and friends and never do.

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